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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well... that happened.
Invention of SAR procedures and genius trying to prove she can commit genocide will actually prove that she's capable of committing omnicide.
Oh i do wish to see a confrontation between astral and dark and maybe ash giving a side comment on ho astral can't not raise and lower the sun without hurting her people too
such a nasty mare, what went wrong in her head?
8017283 Answer: Power
Man must be weird for Dark to become a mare suddenly. :P
Wow. What a bitch.
8017476 That's unfair to Diamond Dogs.
I dont like how everyone Vilifies Astral. We all know she is power mad and cruel. But this is a time when power equals survival. Astral's world view is built upon others like her who gained everything through force of will. It would be stupid to assume it would be otherwise. They dont have history to fall back on. Unlike the Earth ponies Unicorns dont seem to have a cooperative mindset. Insted of working together they fight one another for position. Using the lessers as servents. Its a system that feeds itself. Unlike Dark who gained power and favor through luck, only the strongest and most ruthless could become the top unicorn. And any attempt to change the status quo would only lead to other taking advantage. Seriously I feel Astral has alot more going on, and I kinda hope she isnt left as a 2 bit villian.
8017697
Agreed. She may be ruthless, but she's doing what she has to survive. The Unicorns are obviously having problems keeping themselves alive with the primitive eugenics programme (which never works out) and the supposed 'tribute' is an obvious tell that they are incapable of feeding themselves. So the Unicorns are using their ultimate trump card, never mind the fact the other tribes greatly outnumber them and could force them to do their job if they get too out of line. The way things are going it will only be a matter of time before war between the tribes is imminent.
and so begins the age of strife, and soon we shuld probobly seen the Windegos aswell.
8017697
8017707 I am very pleased at how two of you, as well as others have read so well into how I have portrayed the Unicorns. To them magic is power, if you have only a little magic then you are worthless and should serve the powerful. Astral is a prime example of this principle.
Unicorns have a matriarchal system where the mare's are the one who rule. A single mare will oversee her daughters and granddaughters in her family group. Choosing which stallion they will breed with when their heat comes.
Stallions in this society have no freedoms or personal rights. They are like property to be kept by their families so their breeding services can be traded with other families for food or a return breeding from one of their studs.
Undesired stallions who's families are unable to feed, are kept in a collective stable were lower mares can earn the privilege of being allowed to breed with one of them. It is seen as a crime for a mare to allow a stallion to breed her without the stallions matriarchs approval. Any offspring from such a union will be taken from the mother to be raised by the stallions family as one of theirs.
i bet celestia is going to accidentally raise the sun
8018800 I bet she accidentally blows it up.
Don't forget about ghost stories and marshmallows!
You do know you will also die, right?
Good chapter!
Can't wait to see what happens next.
Maybe they will invent the torch next day. (Can we even call it "day"?)
Found an small, tiny, completely unimportant and not noteworthy at all typo:
A missing space.
I adore this story!! More please!
8018853
Whats the point of a doomsday weapon if your not willing to use it? Sure the Unicorns would all die as well but they would die with the smug satisfaction they were the biggest assholes.
8018885 Okay you got me. Your post made me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself.
8018878 Oh! You are definitely getting a thumbs up.
8018720
I have to admit I always curious just how exactly magic users managed to manipulate the sun and moon to such a degree that they became incapable of operating without magic. It couldn't have always been this way. At some point in time something happened to make those celestial objects so dependent on magic that they couldn't work. But how could mere mortal ponies have enough magic to subjugate them. Unless...
8018853
OMG! Somepony needs to start working on inventing marshmallows quick! ... as well as chocolate and gram crackers. They need smores STAT!
8019025
I usually like the dystopian future where physics is replaced by magic, as magic rips apart the laws of nature. But I also like the idea that Equestria is a magical system that requires sentient will to operate its fetures. Not because of some failing of natural laws, but because thoes rules dont exist as we know them. The sun is no longer the center of the system but a large near planet object. I like this theory because it breaks the logic of conventional thinking.
8019094
I suppose in this universe we can go with a more mythological origin and explanation for things due to the existence of magic and extremely powerful semi immortal beings. Still, why don't modern Unicorns know how to do this? Is the magic rare or is knowledge of it suppressed? Or alternatively they are lazy and content to let the demigods to do their old job. I'm going for the latter.
8019115
Well I think it comes down to who would you trust with the knowledge of moving the sun and moon? Of the three beings that control the heavens, two went mad and nearly destroyed the planet. Perhaps they decided that the power was too great for normal ponies.
8019144
Imagine how much more dangerous every Unicorn villain they faced would be if they could! Trixie, Sombra, Sunset, Starlight...
But the Alicorns are hardly any better. It's too much power in one pony's hooves. As we saw with the whole Nightmare Moon fiasco the consequences could be cataclysmic.
8018810 i wouldn't be to surprise, then she makes a new one and scares everypony, though i am kind of scared now since your the author but i will contuine to raise said bet by 10 imaginary dollars
8017697 I don't vilify her, I just want to see her throat cut in her sleep.
8019671
As often happens to megalomaniacs with a disregard for the people she tramples on her way to the top. But that doesnt mean she should be held to some standard of Ethics that she can't even comprehend. Evil is evil because it understands right from wrong and chooses wrong. To her being a good mother is teaching your children to be strong because that is the world she lives in.
8019896 That doesn't at all change my view that her family and the rest of the unicorns will be better off with her safely in a grave.
8019210 I see your bet and raise you a Celestia and her army of the evil dead ravaging the land and turning it red with the blood of innocent ponies.
8019906
Npt necessarily true, Despotisms are traditionally very stable form of government. Say what you will about Astral but no one is going to mess with someone who can take away the sun. And if someone did... good luck getting the sun back. Between the infighting after the power vacume and the potential revolts by emboldened oppressed ponies, it be likely there wouldent be enough unicorns with the power to do the job.
Just a few errors I noticed. Not trying to be a jerk; I love your story, but it could use some spit-shine in places.
>I'll expect to two to be back before the sun sets with a report of your findings.
This sentence is broken. I think it's supposed to read 'I'll expect you two to be'.
>[...] the wilderness to die. Radiant [...]
That should be a comma
>You're mother
Your
>Radiant thought about deifying her mother's
defying (deifying is a word, but not the one you want here)
> Pegasi will whither and die.
wither
> present to me a offering
an
>the Caster’s all laughed and jeered at the departing mare. Some calling out to her some rather descriptive and foul names.
No apostrophe. This should be a plural Casters, not a possessive one. Also, the 2nd sentence is a sentence fragment. Should be a comma separating, not a period.
8019958 Thank you. All fixed up now and looks much better.
8019955 They can be stable, until the despot's psychopathy turns their family against them and they wake up dead. She's not playing this at all as a smart despot would, and it will-hopefully-end up with her dead in short order.
8018810 Hey! Spoilers! Shh!
8019998
Uhhh, and what is she going wrong? No emotional attachments to family to be exploited. An unshakeable fear invoked in all under her. Nepotism and cronyism to keep her power centralized. And now she is extending her power over other groups. It is likely that ponies will still fear her long after her death. I'd say she has her bases covered.
8020042 There's no such thing as unshakeable fear; what people (or ponies) fear, they hate and seek to destroy, because it's a threat.
The unicorn leadership is just worse with each chapter I read about them. Probably your intention - in which case I have to say, good job. Also a nice job of showing that not all are like that... just those who lead.
How amusing will it be that the sun doesn't go up, but Celestia unwittingly raises it afterwards anyway? That'd be so amusing
8019939 I see your raise, and raise again with a explosion of mirror pool baby lunas shooting laser beams from their eyes and sing rick roll all the way to kick the unicorn in the face
8021774 Done! I'll start writing that up right now!
8022298 Honestly how would there be a book about the mirror pool if somepony didnt already discover it.
8020397
8020042
I want to thank you both for such a lively and animated discussion/debate yesterday. I watched the posts coming in riveted with what you two would say next. I am through the roof happy with how passionate my readers are for some of the characters in the story. Astral has been quite a challenge to write. I try to keep her detestable but without taking it over the line into wanton evil. She's a complicated character worthy of the role she is to play in the upcoming parts of the story.
was rubbing RAW SPOTS INTO IT.
The creation of the fire was intriguing, though that might just be because I'm trying to do something similar with one of my stories.
punctuation before the quote
No shit!
if the sun WERE TO BE taken
Not all unicorns may be cunts, but enough are. I'm getting a very Negan vibe here.
The marvelous effects of campfires and static electricity.
8030445 Now, why does it only happen to Strongbuck?
Ok, there was this one story that sadly isn't update years where Earth Ponies, pegasus, griffin and minotaurs join forces to defeat the corrupt Unicorn kingdom to finally form Equestria. It was a past story so like when the sisters were only kids at the time.
So I wonder and thinking we'll see a war soon against a mad Unicorn who thinks she's god
8030470
Is he not insulated? The electricity goes right through him.
Uh i mean... It says in him. Static electricity.
I'm a bit rusty here becouse ive not needed to talk about this for a long time
Ah, it's just a tribute-stone. Phew. I thought we were about to see the start of Tenochtitlan blood-sacrifice to their sun goddess. Ziggurats, cults, prisoners and stone slabs are a bad combination.
Astral, you are a moron. No sun means you die to