Hu-mane

by LunaoftheNight

Chapter 5

The first thing that I realised was that thesee ponies who stood all around me in a big circle seemed really friendly. They were too friendly. After always being teasted for my size in the jive, it was nice to see someone being nice to me for a change. I did wonder if maybe they were just being a tease and waiting to attack me like normal but I didn't really think that was the truth since their smiles all seemed nice, they weren't forced at all and I can taste the sweet, sweet happiness.

A pink pony bounces forwards a wraps her hooves around me and pulls me into a hug and I smile. I was a bit stiff but then I relaxed and returned the hug smiling at the love which then filled my belly.

Yum, I had never tasted love like ti!

"My name is... klutz," I admitted and I blushed on but the pink pony didn't mind. "I'm pinkie pie!" She yelled and I thought my ears would fall off, she then grabbed my hoof in hers and began to drag me through the crowd of excited ponies. " Yorue new here but iTs the summer sun celebration and its a party so you don't need to worry! I'm throwing s party for another new pony who's called twilight Sparkle so you can have a joint party!!!" She squealed and jumped high into the air. What a crazy pony. "Oh, ai'm so excited!!"

Author's Note:

I'm so sorry this is so late I've kinda been bored of Mlp for a while but I'll try to get back into this. Please like!!!

Comments

[Lord Nopony]

A bit too short, but it's good.

[link4]

i agree... with mad haxz. a little more effort, and you will be golden. are you perhaps uncertain about what you're doing?

[Starlight Nova]

...I thought that the art came from deviantart.

[Kafyui]

This story has a lot of potential, just needs some longer chapters, some more character development, and some grammar mistakes need to be fixed. Other than that good story, I will be tracking this.

(I am not a critic or a writer so take things I say however you like. I have just read a lot of stories which have impacted my opinion.)

[Black Ash]

Interesting. Keep going.

[Error Sans]

Please more, also as Kafyui said it needs to be a bit longer and the grammar needs fixing. But other than that it is a great story!

[Fabian Corcair]

You had almost two years, two years! And your only story has... ~2000 words? I could write that much in like 1-2 weeks, and I'm one of the slow ones. You gotta work on your internal motivation

[HB_DS2013]

The chapters are a tad short but they have potential. I actually understand what you’re going through since I have low internal motivation and tiny windows of inspiration. Not trying to be rude, but if you’re looking for writing advice, you’re better off reading comments in other people’s fanfics. Editors are hard to come by unless you’re willing to exert as much effort to find one willing to help you. As for grammar, Grammarly, Hemmingway and other similar grammar programs are a boon- I’m just listing those two as examples.

Word of advice: you shouldn’t add stuff like “don’t hate” in your summary because people ARE going to do just that because some of them are trolls with nothing better to do. Add more details to your long summary- your current one as is fits the short summary better.

I’ve said my two bits and I’m sorry if you ended up being offended by anything I’ve said.