Creativity in its purest form is self-expression. I choose to try to express myself in everything I do.
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The main character goes through depression in his daily life until an unlikely turn of events occurs.
Is this reality, or is it a dream? Is it really reasonable to care?
Sprocket now lives a much more lighthearted life full of adventure, majesty, and romance, but what will happen in the end?
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I think you need to pace yourself a bit. You go to Canterlot only to leave the next day, kinda makes no sense. Why not stay for the wedding with your new colt friend and even leave the reveal that he is a changeling for during the wedding?
Brass, I agree, I do need to pace myself a bit. I'm trying to get better. I do not go to Canterlot and leave the next day, I breeze over everything and don't give much information on it. It was late at night. I'm not really used to staying up past midnight, so when I do, I really want to get to sleep. I do plan on revisiting the events that occured in the form of a flashback in the next chapter. I plan to release it either tomorrow morning or tomorrow night. Maybe if I'm not preoccupied, tonight. I didn't reveal that he's a changeling for or during the wedding because I planned for there to be some major character development that wouldn't necessarily work smoothly if it weren't yet known that Metalwing was a changeling. So the wedding was essentially skipped because I was really tired and really wanted to go to sleep, but it will be revisited in the next chapter.
So far, so good. Looking forward to seeing what Sprocket gets up to next.
Might want to also submit this to the ponification group as well.
7032575 I'll do that. Thank you for the positive feedback, I know it's not perfect, but it's surprisingly one of my better pieces of fiction
Grammar is suprisngly good for a first story. Once you have a few more chapters I'll continue to read.
7032888 Funny story there, I actually did quite a bit of writing before this. I enjoy making stories, whether they're good or not so good. I had never really seriously written pony fiction until a few weeks ago when I wrote the first draft of my upcoming story, Inferiority Complex, which will soon be completely rewritten. New chapters to this story will come very soon
7032904 That would explain quite abit.
Try to flesh things out, everything is super rushed.
I have to admit, using a dream to retell previous events was a pretty good idea.
7034783 the third chapter at the very least was meant to not be fleshed out. It was meant to feel like a memory. I'm not sure what you mean with the other two chapters so far
7035276 Thank you, Brass. Just a heads up, the next chapter will be quite a bit slower than these last two, since it'll
(spoiler warning)
have more of a romantic theme
By the sound of that discretion this is my kind of story
7035778 glad you're enjoying
New cover art
Oh boy, she's the seventh Element of Harmony.
Otherwise it wasn't a bad scene.
That little old lady was nice. Apples are not that expensive though. Just buying it is kindness enough.
7041532 It's different than you think. They don't work exactly like the elements of harmony we all know and love. Though I know exactly what makes you say that.
I'm not going to lead it up to have her use it with the mane six's elements, rest assured. In fact, I'm not sure I'll have her use it at all in this series. Currently, it's only of sentimental value
And have you seen the price of the pink lady variety of apples? Those things are really good but for apples, they're super expensive
I think I'm going to have to put this story and my others on hiatus so I can deal with my breakup...
The scumbag is already dating someone else...
Less than 48 hours after we broke up
Not a bad into chapter. I'll have another.
1: room my a very attractive stallion
2: attention of all lf the employees,
3: This is our mkst expensive
1: my should be by
2: if should be of
3: most.
Nice chapter, a bit quick paced, I mean, the changing coming out that fast, while not a bad thing, is a little disorienting. Its a good changeling headcannon though, I hope that I get more elaboration in the next chapter.
7059958 my typos are common. I've tried taking care of them but it's like they multiply. Every time I proofread my stuff, there's more typos
7059958 and I don't recall elaborating much on the fact that he's a changeling yet, but I will before long
7060064 don't worry about it man, I completely understand. I point them out to help everyone, not to be rude or put them down, mistakes are good, so long as you fix them when you notice them. Mistakes like this are a sign that you are focusing on the story, and not trying to write an assignment. I'll keep pointing them out when I spot them.
Now I've got to go write the site mods and ask why I'm not seeing my comment replies. Are you having any issues with that or is it just me?
7065067 not sure, did you post more than that one?
Also, there's a new spinoff of this that elaborates far more on Metalwing's character.
If you want to read it, the story is just called Metalwing
7065089 no, does the author get notified at all the comments on the story? Because it wouldn't make sense if they didn't, oh well, I saw this one.
Cool, I'll check it out when I get a chance.
7065098 okay, yeah I get notified.
Thanks! In my opinion, it gets way better character development at chapter 3 and 4 but it wouldn't make sense without 1 and 2 which are nearly entirely setup. Have fun with it, and I'll likely finish writing it tonight
7041532 Key word there is "amulet;" a tiara is not an amulet. Therefore, it wouldn't be a Seventh Element of Harmony. Besides, what would be that Element, in any case? Love? Faith? Trust?
7138394
The element of OP?
Only Twilight's element is a tiara, anyway. All the other elements are necklaces. Does it really matter if they're tiaras or necklaces?
7139211 I can guarantee that Sprocket's amulet is NOT an element of harmony or any of those. It's a powerful magic item
Hmmm... This is an enjoyable story and you have fleshed out the main character well. On the other hand your descriptions of the other characters she meets tends to be, shall we say, a bit brief. Also, i agree with the earlier opinions on how fast the main character has taken to be an equestrian mare virtually overnight. This is not something that would happen so quickly. There would be much for her to learn and adjust to. Overall though i DO like this story and hope you continue it to its ( not so quick ) end.
7316965 I understand what you're saying with the adjusting part, but that wouldn't be nearly as entertaining to read. This one while at this point, a decently long story, I wanted to be far faster paced than many of similar genres and I wanted more focus on the main character living as a mare than adjusting to life as one
I then drove out of my neighborhood to the grocery store.
I looked to my left and picked up a wooden baseball bat
4:02
continued putting one foot in front of the other toward my closet door.
0:17
purchasing a ticket to Canterlot.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The city's name was Canterlot. That's where I was going first.
I kinda figured that!
I listened in on what they were talking about. There was going to be a wedding.
Oh No I know where we are at on the timeline!
The building towered over us with bold designs, every color coordinated with each other, and the landscape work was extremely meticulously manicured.
czech-glass-nail-files.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/manicure.jpg
payed for a room and was escorted to a luxurious room by a very attractive stallion.
He said, "Sproc- oh, umm... not Sprocket..." he let out a nervous laugh, "I'm Metalwing... Sprocket is a nice name..."
I'm likeing this love interest introduction into the story!
Don't read many with that.
not taking note of the fact that my new crush had left the hall.
I think that's what you mean
the attention of all the employees
garment moved it to its original position
price, this one is way more tempting
I had no idea why they were so shiny before that moment.
He interrupted me, calmly speaking, "I created this image with my own imagination... this isn't really how I look... Now please don't freak out. I'm a changeling... but I'm not like the others. I'd rather starve than feed on other ponies' love and make them think I'm somepony else."
"Oh... That's surprising, but hey. You still seem to have a really nice personality. I still like you." I replied.
It's just so late right now and I'm so sleepy
8:26 shhhh shhhh go to sleep,go to sleep
It was a sight so breathtaking,
This often happened
Me keeping fed is just a happy coincidence
I know this is wrong but I'm not sure how to fix it.
If you know how to teleport,
I have a good reason to love you..
The stallion looked at me, "Whoa, Metal. I don't know how you got a mare that good looking... guess I need another officer now..."
I liked that conversation!
7036443
Your a bite too close to the camera. Mind backing up?
All this talk of sleep is starting to make me tired...
Go Home Go to Bed
Metalwing, Pinkie Pie(who would do something that odd, believe me), or a random intruder.
I like that comment
I set down the nectar and lurched my way to the fridge, retrieving the milk.
*snorts* I'm just picturing a rag doll being launched at a fridge.
the wind blow the trees as I sobbed.
"A pony as strong as you has nothing to worry about, and others shouldn't worry either. So if your family is worrying about you, it's not your fault, it's theirs for not putting enough faith in you." He wiped more tears away.
Reminds me of a time when my math teacher posted so answers to some problems on the board, she didn't show her work so we couldn't just simple go up there and copy it down, so when I went up there to check my work the teacher came up said "oh wait your right. That's what I get for not showing my work." I go back to my desk and she announces t the class she got it wrong so I stand up and start slow clapping her. The class laughs and she asked who it was and later said to me "it's been a while since anyone slowed clapped me."
Is there another pony who looks exactly like you do running around?
electromagnets in the hooves.
For what?
I don't need a magnet in my hoof because I can pick things up with it just like any normal pony would.
Oh okay. My OC has claws at the end of the hoof.(think like fingers but blended back when not in use.)
metalwing and I were in the backyard,
returned to the ursa major
BTW, that coffee recipe thing? Yeah, that makes some awesome coffee. You don't even know until you try it. So I'm challenging you to try that amazing bit of goodness that wakes you up in a good mood every time.
No!
I don't like coffee
5:51
7344052 robotic hooves. They don't pick things up like normal hooves
while pointing at us with their hooves
apple for my neighbor
Suddenly it takes a big turn to an adventure!
whose birthday began an hour and 8 minutes ago central time
I got spite all over my screen now!
made of stone
Your mother is worried sick about you.
But we were relatively fairly close to the ground.
That was the most quickest adventure ever!
spinning in a single direction
It turned and looked
Which meant I needed
I entered the attic
He was talking behind my back about how pointless our relationship was. So I broke up with him.
"Sprocket? Will you make me the happiest stallion in the universe and marry me?" He asked.
4:12
7344164
Neither do mine
Out of all the comments on there you just pick one!
and see what's inside!
With who!?"
WHAT KIND OF AN ENDING WAS THAT!!!
7345490 *shrug* I wanted to move onto new ideas. That and I was honestly getting tired of writing this one
I hope things go better for you and wish you the happiness you deserve.
I like this story, too bad it was short, read the whole thing in one sitting.
Also, does anyone have an image of a black pony with light red hair with rocket boots for in the mean time till I can use my own? Mine will be exactly what I described stitched onto a pillow, till then I have this as my image, also I am the one who will stitch the design on a pillow, also accidently made it out of felt.
Never mind, just noticed the six chapters I didn't notice, still gonna finish it in one sitting though.
and I just finished for real, didn't notice that, I only saw one other story with that show more chapter thing, though that was way longer, and I kinda preferred it over all the other stories I've seen so far on this sight except one thing which happened twice in that story, anyways yeah wish this story was longer.