Nice

7448661 Glad to hear you liked it!

7456630 Oh shit, thanks for finding that.

I went through that chapter like 10000 times and never saw that.

Also, glad to hear you've enjoyed things thus far!

7456633 Of course! It was an amazing and emotional read. Thank you for writing it!

7456685 Thank you so much for your feedback! You are officially the first person to have read my story all the way through!

I'd like to ask, what was your favorite part throughout the story?

Wow, this story is very similar to The Death Of Princess Luna by GigaBowser. Except the roles of Celestia and Luna are swapped.

7464720 I read that fic long, long ago; and it and Past Sins influenced this story quite a bit.

Was it at least an enjoyable read?

7465530 I've just started reading this. I'll give you my opinion once I finish it.
Pinkie Promise

7456795 My favorite part was the detail. You had lots of good details in your story that really helped to paint a picture.

7468301 I am a detail freak; that's for certain. I meant more of like a favorite chapter, though.

7468306 Oh! I'd have to say chapter 23. :P

I'm about to start reading the new story you just started :P

7468308 Funny, my friend Cody (he's in the comments by the name OndavaNeedsBuff) stated that too was his favorite. I can agree to that statement, though; it was easily the funniest chapter to write and was the most exciting.

7468312 For sure. Your new story sounds like it'll be great by the way.

7468317 Chapter 1 is still in the workings. I've had to re-do it twice now because I have a terrible time figuring out how to start stories.

7468338 I'm sure you'll figure it out ^-^

You clearly know how to write, it's just that starting is the hard part.

7470714 Celestia's body was recovered by that point, or at least it was officially said that the body had been recovered. There are other things she would have noticed... however.

7470679 I actually find myself in concurrence with what you say. Looking back, I think she broke down a little too easy, but then again; she's never been tortured physically.

7471810 Interesting questions... I know SOME about medicine, enough for me to somewhat accurately describe situations like the ones in this story (drilling a small hole in the base of someone's skull to prevent blood from causing excessive pressure on the brain is a real method, by the way.), and no, I am not Russian. I like their language, and I like the Stalliongradian theme and setting.

7472435 I love seeing how you react to everything happening: what you have said is EXACTLY what I want the reader experiencing!

7473175 Good god... have you spent all day reading my story? I'm flattered

7472444 No one has commented in most chapters, so I figure I would do it myself.

7473293 I appreciate your input more than you could imagine

7475828 Funny you say that; it was completely unintentional! Also... are you re-reading the story?

7475855 Yes, I like to read what I might have missed in my first read.

I've the habit of reading stories more than once.

7481645 Ah, you have spotted a plot issue that I have known of for a while. Maybe she's just too shocked to react. There are other ways that part could have gone, too. Why didn't Star Yield give Luna the aura?

The simple answer is my own negligence in writing.

Even if I were to acknowledge the fact she could remove the aura, it would just be stated that Star Yield thought she might try some shit, so he had some sort of anti-magic stuff going on with him before he and the Admiral went in.

1. I'm pretty sure that you (the writer, actually there is no other you in that conversation) liked the story Past Sins, as using the same base plot, but doing it much differently
2. Loved the story (not much more to say to that statement)
3. So if Celestia always thought that Luna would be behind all this to bring eternal night, then why isn't she wondering why the sun is up once she's free.
4. I would like to know more about what happened after the story.
5. I'm bad at writing feedback :D

7582967 thanks for your comment, and you are indeed right; Past sins gave me a lot of inspiration all those years ago. As for Celestia not wondering about the sun, I never really mentioned it, but in my mind she suspected the sun staying up because Nightmare Moon had not returned, and she was maintaining the sun to keep ponies happy until then.

I'm glad you liked the story! I spent a good while creating this and it's cool to see someone else enjoyed it.

7583391
I just realised a 6. point.
6. I will definitely keep that story in mind, cause it has lots fo Russian text and I'm currently trying to learn Russian.

7583530 if it interests you at all, i just put out the first part of a new story, and if you enjoyed this i think you might like the latest one! Im on my phone so i cant give a link, so just click my profile and youll see it

Hey CoffeBean, I created an entry for this story in Tv Tropes.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/BeneathTheSunsSurface

7620421 oh my fucking god...

I have been reading this for 4 minutes and I'm dying. Thank you for this.

7620421 Once again... this is a fucking INSANELY in-depth of my story. Oh my god, I never realized how many tropes there were.

This made my day. Good fucking job, man; you have no idea how happy this made me.

7620452 You're welcome,.... and I haven't even finish that page yet, it still underconstruction.

7620488 I have noticed some typos and things. Also, there are some things I could nitpic, such as the 'wounded bad-ass' trope. Celestia can overpower White Dust and the others because it's canon that she has incredible physical strength.

Just a little nitpick.

7620513 There's no 'Wounded Badass' trope Handicapped is the correct one, and the typos are because english isn't my first language (I speak spanish). I'll try to fix the mistakes and if anyone want to help improving the page I'll appreciate it.

Here's a question: When the Order was planing to use Celestia as a vessel for Nightmare Moon, Why did they need Celly to be in a near-death state?

7622505 Both her body AND mind would need to be in horribly wounded states; if , the spell wouldn't work properly. The torture was more or less to weaken her mentally more than physically; a weak, almost insane state of being would be needed, since the spells first step was replacing Celestia's conscious with Nightmare Moons.

7622505 I just looked at the article again, and it got much better. Seriously, this synopsis is fucking spot-on... except for the 'Chekhov's Skill' trope. Celestia does not escape to Stalliongrad; she is already in it. The Black Forest is located on the Stalliongrad/Gryphon Kingdom border. It would have been a Chekhov's Skill if she ONLY spoke Russian; but it's stated she speaks around 20 languages. If she ended up in Germaney or Prance, it would have been the same case.

7623032 Hmm, Thanks for pointing that out I'll fix it when I can, that being said it's still consider a 'Chekhov's Skill' since it's a form of foreshadowing, Celestia speak 'Prussian' early in the story, this skill end up being usefull later in the story. As for Celestia ability to speak 20 languages I'll put a 'Cultured Badass' or 'Omniglot' entry for that.

7623096 That's better; and you're right, the foreshadowing certainly makes it fit that category.

7767388 STALKER is one of my favorite games! I gotta ask; how'd you get stuck reading the Wiki for it? Funny correlation with my story, if ya ask me. Also; I look forward to hearing about how you think the rest of the story is, if you do decide to keep reading! This old fic of mine was quite the journey to write, so I'd love to hear your opinion!

7767473 I've pointed this out before; this isn't supposed to be a mystery. The reader is supposed to know about the plot and its details. I didn't intend for this to be a murder mystery, it's a survival story.

And, do keep in mind, I wrote the majority of this story a fair 4 years back. I wasn't too good with plots back then...

7767513
I meant more the "Cloud is the traitor" part then the actual events like downing the helicopter or such, just to have given time for people to form some kind of connection to him as i assume he plays a role later too in the story. Some small amount of mystery is good for a story to keep the reader interested.

7767437
As for how i ended up reading the wiki, with Andrei appearing i thought to myself "cheeki breeki intensifies", googled the wiki to see quotes from the bandit faction in original russian to copy paste as a comment for lolz, ended up just re-reading the stuff like the story or characters and such. Even weapons (comparison between the three games and such)

A while ago watched some video that talked about how the bandits use slang so its hard to properly translate what they say, but that it might be a brilliant way of giving out orders without the enemy knowing what your saying as only your fellows will understand the slang, cheeki breeki grew on me then.

7767798 the mystery of the story comes later in seeing how Celestia will deal with things. Once again; you're talking to 14 year old writer me, not me now with 10 full stories under his belt.

7767831 True, sorry.

Most chapters say posted on July 15th 2016, did you repost is at that date or does editing them change the published date or such, never bothered publishing anything i wrote so wouldnt know.

Lets see where it will take us then, off to read more!

7767875 i tried my best to edit this story. 120000 words is a lot to go through

7767844 editing doesnt change the date. July 15 was when i made my account and posted what chapters of the story i had written by that time.

7768345 goodness me, you've made it far into the story! I...guess that means it's been a good read?

7768406 Eh read to 2 in the morning, now back for some more before work.

As for how good it is, eh im a simple man, i like bad ass Celestia and i knew/hoped such a moment would come so im happy with it, certainly does improve compared to the first chapter or two or three.

Finished it finally.

Nice story, as you yourself said it has (plot) issues here and there but overall nice.

Why would 3 royal guards, who are on leave, be killed during a break in in another nations facility, when it would have been easier to use the FOB as the place a break in happened if they wanted to do the search as they have actual control over the base unlike the Stalliongrad facility xD

And im a bid disappointed you didnt make it so that they properly rule together instead of Celestia retiring or whatever was implied here.

Ever thought of doing a rewrite of this story?