True Facts About ...

by ShadowWalking18

Zebra

These are true facts about the Zibrahh... What is it? The "Zebra"? Hmm... That word really looked like it was going to be a lot more fun to say.

The zebra is like an ordinary pone that got bodypainted by that weird hippy that lives under the Hearts & Hooves bridge and may or may not be permanently high. High on what I can't say, but it must be real good.

The zebra has an inexplicable compulsion to speak only in rhyming sentences. No one is sure how or why this compulsion exists, though it does get pretty old when you’re trying to talk to them.

The most visually striking aspect of the zebra is its black and white striped coat. They are the only plains walking equines known to have such coloration, and the nature of this design is still in debate among scientists. Some theorize that the striping pattern is intended to provide crypsis, which an organism’s ability to avoid detection or observation by other organisms.

This, however, is pretty much thrown out the window when you remember that zebras are a fairly vocal race. That, and the fact that they’re always rhyming. That gets annoying pretty fast. If you’ve ever had a zebra as a roommate in college, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Another theory is that the striped patterns are meant as a form of motion camoflage, where the stripes are meant to make it harder for predators to see how far away the zebra is or where it is going. Another similar hypothesis is that stripes may make it harder for predators to single out individual members of the herd through motion dazzle by creating a wagon wheel or barber pole type of visual illusion when the herd is in motion.

I guess the idea is that lions are already half blind anyway, so the zebra evolved stripes to fuck with it and make life that much harder.

Still, others say that the stripes are merely a means of visual cues and identification, and that zebras may find it easier to identify each other based on their individual striping pattern.

But whatever way you slice it, we can all agree on one thing: having stripes is kinda weird, but still cool as hell though.

Just remember, if someone tells you that you dress up like a zebra just say. Your mom. That usually shuts them up.