• Member Since 15th Jun, 2019
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Vagabond short fiction writer. Veteran of many fandom wars. Believer of light in the darkness.


It's a well known fact that the bulk of a dragon's diet is gemstones.

To the far north of the land lies the Crystal Empire, where basically everything is made of crystal and gemstones. Included in this is a massively powerful ancient artifact.

Garble has a stupid plan and a bottle of hot sauce.

Written for Horseword Extravaganza 2.

Featured 2/25/2020 - 2/27/2020!

Featured in Equestria Daily's 35 Fanfics to Read for Dragon Day! on 7/28/2020!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 31 )

a few of the older ones were present, but as age went up so did tolerance for the schemes of youth. And he was fine with that. Didn't need them anyway.

Pretty sure you mean intolerance here. Otherwise Garble would seek out the oldest of his kind for this.

ponies are bad at naming things

Said the dragon to other dragons in the Dragonlands. :rainbowlaugh:

"Even if she's there, what's it matter? Is she gonna put a magic shield around the whole city?" Garble laughed, completely unaware that there was a pony in the Crystal Empire that could do that.

You really shouldn't have included that last sentence. Better to just let the dramatic irony stand on its own.

Poor Sunburst. He tried.

Aside from a few messy turns of phrase, this was great stuff. Especially as a Smolder origin story. Thank you for a great read, and best of luck in the judging.

reminds me of chapter 4 of Nyx's Family.

to wit:

"Not all crystals are gems, Nyx," Twilight said. "I'm not sure a dragon would find just any old crystal to be appetizing." Or would they? She silently wondered. She looked at Spike.

Spike saw her glance and interpreted it. He made a so-so motion with his hand. "Eh, kinda sorta," he said. "Most of 'em just don't taste real good. "
"But how would the dragon know?" Nyx insisted, caught up in the topic. "Like, suppose there was a dragon flying over the Crystal Empire..." she held up her fork in one hoof and held it over her plate, miming a dragon flying over the countryside. "Flap flap flap, rarrr, boy I'm hungry," she said, making her voice low and growly. "Oh, look down there! Lots and lots of shiny gems to eat! Arrr..." the fork dove into the plate and Nyx scooped up a load of pancake, stuffing it into her mouth. "Arm narm narm narm..."

Shining armor snorted, spraying coffee out his nose. He mopped his face with his handkerchief, huffing and snorting while he composed himself. He mentally scolded himself for falling for the act. Doggone it, this was still Nightmare Moon...

Spike and the girls laughed out loud at Nyx's performance. Twilight giggled, "Well I suppose Mister Dragon would get a big mouthful of crystal buildings and find out they tasted bad."

"But then it'd be even worse!" Nyx exclaimed. "Arm narm narm, AUGH, this is awful, it tastes like brussels sprouts and cough syrup! Argh, now I'm angry, let's go break stuff!" Nyx walked her fork through the pancakes, mauling them. "Stomp stomp stomp, buildings squished in my toes, arrr..."

lol this was very good & just loved at how Garble ended up, hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

Also nice take on how my 2nd fave dragon ended up at the Friendship School, sweet! :pinkiehappy:

Aw man, this was great. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, they say, and that’s pretty much all the knowledge that Garble has.

This was great. Have an upvote.

See, what you're overlooking here, Garble, is that the real trick to being Dragon Lord is by being a good (or at least decent) leader. And you are not such a leader. Barely even a leader at all. At best a mere rabble-rouser that ultimately doesn't achieve anything but make a mess, and any ol' knucklehead can raise a rabble and make a mess. So...way to fit in with that knucklehead stereotype! :rainbowlaugh:

I've seen a few different story ideas of how Smolder was selected to go to the school, and have had a few of mine own (leading one was that Ember merely did a quick game of "eenie meenie miney moe")...but I think out of all of them, this one is my new favorite. :pinkiehappy:

'Twas a fun read. Easily earned a thumbs up from me, that's for sure.

I may have accidentally started writing an 'Origins of the Young Six' sequence.

Hey, if it's an accident, you might as well try to make it a happy accident! (Assuming your muse is cooperative, that is.)


Pretty sure you mean intolerance here.

And this, kids, is a lesson that even after six editing passes you still make mistakes.

That actually isn't far off from what originally inspired this. There were a number of jokes about Spike snacking on Twilight's castle, and it sort of took the logical leap to "If he does that, then the Crystal Empire must be a buffet."


Hey, if it's an accident, you might as well try to make it a happy accident!

For sure! Though now I have to debate on if I want to actively do it or just let it happen/not happen naturally.

2048712 on derpi. Would link, but rating.

I’m more surprised this connection regarding the Crystal Empire being edible to dragons didn’t come sooner. Also, IMHO the reason why the Crystal Empire is in the middle of an eternal blizzard that needs to be constantly kept at bay with the Crystal Heart is that dragons can't stand the cold and blizzard. Unless there happens to be ice dragons, then they are screwed.

This was great! Definitely keep going with origin stories if the muse strikes! :pinkiehappy:

"...you seem to have been taught a pretty humiliating lesson by Starlight Sparkle here."

Starlight grumbled. "Glimmer. The thing on my flank is a glimmer."

This actually made me lol. :rainbowlaugh:

I'd honestly be rather fascinated to see what eating that would have done to him.


Well there's also the option of being such a terror that no one dares go against you, Torch did that and by all accounts it worked pretty well for him.

Wonderful, just wonderful.

This was really fun! It is natural for dragons to eye the Crystal Empire, especially Garble given what you outlined. Having him scheme to take over by eating the Crystal Heart--that's actually pretty clever. Well, for him.

I definitely enjoyed this, though as an entry in a potential "Origin of the Student Six" series, I think I find myself preferring "A Changeling Path" since that was actually more about Ocellus while Smolder is more of a bit player here. But then, I'm a huge Smolder fan so I always want to see more of her and am a bit biased. I definitely liked her portrayal: being shown as already being smarter than the average dragon and while not (shown?) involved in the raid on the Crystal Empire, she wasn't written as already being 'soft' towards ponies. It strikes a nice middle ground: we don't have cause to dislike her by showing her taking part in this raid but it doesn't try to retroactively make her out to be a 'good' dragon before even going to school or being morally opposed to the raid, etc. That worked.


Easy to do when the next largest dragon is only the size of your elbow.




Is that title a reference? Are you to a man of culture and the arts?

I am both blacksmith and artist; philosopher and plowman.

I see. That’s important, as you can sow a new mentality by reflecting in your art.

Even then, Torch still demonstrated some capability as a leader, regardless of ruling by intimidation.

Garble doesn't even have that going for him. :rainbowlaugh:

The Crystal Ponies also look like they're made out of gems...



The Crystal Ponies also look like they're made out of gems...


Originally there were in fact a few jokes about this, including the scene with Flash Sentry being gummed by a sleeping dragon instead of being used as a teddy bear.

Then I published Praying For Insight and went "You know, I already wrote one borderline vore story this month, I should probably not do a second one or it'll get weird." (Also the jokes didn't really land well, so it was an easy call.)

10104576 Why be borderline when you can go ALL THE WAY!! :pinkiecrazy::applejackconfused:

Because when it comes to vore, going "all the way" gets very messy and inconvenient, and in the end you always have to call in plumbers, and they're expensive, dude. :twilightoops:

Does this count as Garble abuse or Garble karma? Either way, me like.


Both defiantly both.

Ember: Say, Garble. Don't you have a younger sister?
Garble: DONT!
Starlight and Candace: giggling
Ember: mhm
Me: it’s going down

So this is pretty much during the time before season 8 came along that's cool

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