Oddities and Their Convergence

by Kimmo Rabies Pronger

Prologue (Rarity and Coco Pommel)

It has been a while since she last visited Canterlot Carousel, a branch boutique ran by Sassy Saddles, her current manager. Rarity traveled a long way from Ponyville but she was pleased to arrive at last in Canterlot. She eagerly made her way through town, occasionally stopping to greet fans who admired her work.

It couldn't be a better day for travelling either. Almost perfect, even. When Canterlot Carousel came into her view, Rarity's face beamed with joy. It looked as if the store was well-maintained, at least on the outside. But what about inside? She could only hope to see that customers were eagerly shopping around for the clothing that speaks to them the most.

Rarity opened the door to Canterlot Carousel to see a modest amount of shoppers looking around and seeing what fits them best. She smiled with a slight sense of relief, considering she was once actually thinking about closing the store once due to a mishap with her manager, Sassy Saddles. But where was she?

"Um..."

She looked up at the upper level of the store where Sassy Saddles usually resides to overlook how business is going but, no sign of her. She shrugged. Maybe she was busy with something. Perhaps in her office? She hate to interrupt someone hard at work but perhaps a simple "hello" wouldn't hurt anypony.

"E-Excuse me... It's been a while..."

Well, of course it wouldn't hurt anypony! They've established a worker relationship, after all! Rarity thought she'll say hi to Sassy Saddles and get a summary of how business is going.

"P-Please don't ignore me!"

Startled, Rarity turned around. "My apologies, dear. I didn't realise you were talking to-Coco Pommel?!" Her eyes lit up from seeing her sister-in-fashion.

"Hi, Rarity. It's been a while." Coco said while giving a modest wave with one hoof.

"B-But wait!" She frantically looked around while making funny gestures to express her confusion. "You're supposed in Manehattan! I...what happened? Why are you here? Not that I'm complaining, but why? I never expected you to visit us here so soon!"

Coco nervously scratched the back of her head. "W-Well, if I can be honest... I was thinking of moving from Manehattan."

Shocking words for Rarity. Her? Move from Manehattan? The metropolitan place where ponies go to pursue their dreams? Why?

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Does this story have romance in it, or just friendshipping?

[Fluttercheer]

That's a very intriguing concept for a fic. I already wonder what brings all of them together in the castle at the end.
I'm struggling a little with understanding Diamond Tiara's motif, though. Why does she want to befriend her mother again? Does she want to get back in her good graces because she's afraid of getting punished by her?
What I didn't understand is why Rara needed to explain Applejack what she meant with "Applejack, that's what Countess Coloratura would think. Not Rara."? Applejack was there, after all, and witnessed the events and was even responsible for Rara's change back to her real personality.

The only thing I didn't like here is the way you portray Starlight. To call her "selfish" is quite unfair.
While it wasn't Sunburst's fault that his parents sent him to Canterlot for magical education after this talent for magic was revealed, it was definitely his fault that Starlight felt so lonely.
With how much she missed him, she sure sent him letters and visited him in Canterlot here and there and if he had answered those letters and welcomed her, then it would have never come so far with her, so he apparently didn't do any of those and was more interested in his education than their friendship.
Where did you see the implication that Starlight was selfish? Considering that it was Sunburst who had left her and not Starlight who had left him, it's quite obviously the exact other way around.

I'm excited how this continues.

[Kimmo Rabies Pronger]

7021806

Ah! Some criticism for my story! I'm glad you took the time!

I'm struggling a little with understanding Diamond Tiara's motif, though. Why does she want to befriend her mother again? Does she want to get back in her good graces because she's afraid of getting punished by her?

I didn't necessarily think of a motif for Diamond Tiara's emotions. I tend to write on instincts. I just think that a concept like this would be intriguing to read. I am aware that this concept has been done a lot lately but I wanted to tackle it on my own way. However, I will say that I didn't read any of the fics associated with this idea.

What I didn't understand is why Rara needed to explain Applejack what she meant with "Applejack, that's what Countess Coloratura would think. Not Rara."? Applejack was there, after all, and witnessed the events and was even responsible for Rara's change back to her real personality.

Sometimes, we underestimate the impact of what we do and even forget about it. I had that in mind when having that moment with Rara.

The only thing I didn't like here is the way you portray Starlight. To call her "selfish" is quite unfair. While it wasn't Sunburst's fault that his parents sent him to Canterlot for magical education after this talent for magic was revealed, it was definitely his fault that Starlight felt so lonely.With how much she missed him, she sure sent him letters and visited him in Canterlot here and there and if he had answered those letters and welcomed her, then it would have never come so far with her, so he apparently didn't do any of those and was more interested in his education than their friendship. Where did you see the implication that Starlight was selfish? Considering that it was Sunburst who had left her and not Starlight who had left him, it's quite obviously the exact other way around.

I see! I was concerned about this chapter the most and I'm happy that you pointed this out! I got a second opinion from someone else before responding to this part of your criticism and they agree with your points. I think it's not story-breaking necessarily. In fact, I think I can keep these words of yours in mind the next time I tackle these two.

To answer your question, "Where did you see the implication that Starlight was selfish?"

That's a good question. It was honestly how I interpreted it. Since it was so brief of a character backstory explanation scene with not much detail, I couldn't exactly make a definite conclusion.

I'm excited how this continues.

Thanks! This story is in arcs so expect a lot of content.

Once again, I am pleased and happy that you took the time to give your thoughts on the story. When someone criticizes my characterization, I take it very seriously since I was told before again and again that I tend to characterize impeccably. So no worries! Your word has been heard. XD

[Kimmo Rabies Pronger]

7021689

I don't write shipping. I will VERY RARELY write any romance.

[Fluttercheer]

7022063

Ah! Some criticism for my story! I'm glad you took the time!

Always. When I read a story, I always try to give feedback as good as possible to help authors here getting better in their writing.

I am aware that this concept has been done a lot lately but I wanted to tackle it on my own way.

Actually, no, it wasn't. There are only one or two fics here where Diamond Tiara shows herself to be sympathetic or caring towards her mother. And yours is the first where Diamond Tiara even tries to befriend her and to like her.
The problem with this is, that Diamond Tiara actually hates her mother for all the stuff she put her and (indirectly) her new friends through, that became very apparent by the way she reacted to her.
A child who is abused by its mother doesn't suddenly gain the desire to like her.

Sometimes, we underestimate the impact of what we do and even forget about it. I had that in mind when having that moment with Rara.

I have a hard time with seeing this as possible.

I think it's not story-breaking necessarily. In fact, I think I can keep these words of yours in mind the next time I tackle these two.

I look forward to see how you fix this in their next chapter then.

Thanks! This story is in arcs so expect a lot of content.

Excellent! I admit, I only started to read this because it's partially related to the events of "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" and has a part about Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara, cause I only read "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" fanfictions currently, but since everything is intervowen, I'm going to read the rest of it too!

So no worries! Your word has been heard. XD

Makes me happy to hear. I try to help as good as I can.

[Kimmo Rabies Pronger]

7022226

The problem with this is, that Diamond Tiara actually hates her mother for all the stuff she put her and (indirectly) her new friends through, that became very apparent by the way she reacted to her. A child who is abused by its mother doesn't suddenly gain the desire to like her.

Can you please elaborate that with some of the actual episodes? I can benefit from the information you give me. I'm still relatively new to this fandom.

I have a hard time with seeing this as possible.

It's something that I drew from personal experience. Shouldn't be story-breaking as this is only the prologue and barely anything was written at this moment. Again, it's good that you pointed out the flaws when you did so that it would prevent future chapters from being not good.

Excellent! I admit, I only started to read this because it's partially related to the events of "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" and has a part about Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara, cause I only read "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" fanfictions currently, but since everything is intervowen, I'm going to read the rest of it too!

Well, in the end, I only would like people to read my stuff if they truly wish to. I never go to anybody or tell anybody to advertise my stuff, so I really cherish it when someone takes the time to comment.

Makes me happy to hear. I try to help as good as I can.

I'm glad to hear it. I am going into somewhat uncharted waters, mostly on the character side so I'll be looking forward to what you have to say.

[T1MBUK0N3]

When can I expect this story to be reinvented/uncancelled?