• Member Since 19th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 5th, 2022

PonyPlasmaCore


meh , nothing yet

Comments ( 11 )

feel free to point any errors on grammar and stuff

you asked
Cannon went the group on a Restaurant ????
you see stars on the bright day!" [ in ]
Hey lightning [ Lightning ]
she learn by good that your male seed ?????
Wait when[ had ] you opened your mouth for her to close
warm up things a bit [ .] You both pulled[ back] after a few seconds

as per your request
somewhat sharp theets [ teeth ]
the other players has to drop to drop [ have] and repeated words
When is supposed to come this new replacement!?" [ When is this new replacement supposed to come ] ???
you sidecracked [ sidetracked ] ??

I thought Celestia was ruler of Equestria .... Shouldn't she have the power to change rules as she sees fit ? :rainbowhuh:

6981587 true, but as Princess they must honor the Royal code as their inmortal lives and as they said it: "old habits die hard" :twilightsheepish:

I swear if this kicks off a fucking flood of "Skirt" stories

Find an editor, get this cleaned up. You have a good idea, but the grammar and pacing are atrocious.

You have a solid base here but it is severely lacking in grammar and punctuation. I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs.

Your pacing is way off too. If you are writing a clopfic aim for 3-5k words a chapter, not under 2. You have to properly establish relationships as well as motivations for characters to fuck.

It surely couldn't be his imagination. It was Luna spying!

I'm thinking that Luna wants in on the action

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