I write pony smut. Thats about all you need to know.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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We sell Rarity and Rarity accessories.
And I thought Equestria was a country, not a town.
Okay then. Looks like selling whines and cleaning up horse mouth crap is a job in the town of Equestria. Why am I reading this?
You want some cheese with that WHIIIIIINE?
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/012/528/Naamloos-2.png
~TOOWC
5644022
CARLOS!
You misspelled "wine" in the short summary.
5644564
Thank you Captain Obvious. You're only the fourth person to make that observation.
Good for you.
Replace all instances of 'whine' with 'wine'.
5644656 And I would be the fifth. Question, even with all this reminder, why are ponies still buying recordings of Rarity's escape from the Diamond Dogs, and not, say, the alcoholic beverage derived from the fermentation of grapes?
The last sentence of the third paragraph has a misspelling.
Whine should be wine.
The find word function of many browsers can help you find those tricky mistakes.
Quite should be capitalized, as it's at the beginning of a sentence.
If you need an editor just PM me. I'll be glad to help you out if you need it.
The short summary describes this story as being in first person when it's actually in second person. Just a heads up.
Aside from everyone pointing out your misspelling of wine. I did notice you wrote "pinking" instead of picking. Honestly I didn't notice the wine error, I was to busy enjoying the story
You could probably drop the colored text thing you're doing and run through this with an editor, but other than that this was a cute little story. Keep going.
There's a good amount of editing that this needs. Wrong words, punctuation mistakes, and many other grammatical errors. Oh well, at least it's not a wall of text. Still, please get an editor.
Please please please please please pleeeaassee, continue!
5848429 I agree with this statement.
I hope a new chapter comes out some day. This was good.