• Member Since 10th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen May 31st, 2013

RavenTears


Hey.. I'm an open Brony.. er.. Pegasister... The show is amazing, my Favorite Mane 6 Pony is TOTALLY Rainbow Dash.. and my *other* favorite would be either Derpy or Doctor Whooves....

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Chrysalis was not always evil. She was born a kind, and gentle pony. Her subjects adored her, and she was very beautiful. Although her life wasn't perfect. Even as a young mare she dealt with the struggles of broken hearts, tyrannical governments, and black souls. This is the story of Queen Chrysalis, and what turned her pure heart, into that of darkness.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 18 )

This is really good, i wish i could put so much emotion in my fics.

I have nothing negative to add, but may be you could make some space between the lines. (this is just a personel preferance)

AGAIN, loved it and im watching you:pinkiehappy:

Well a very interesting story and another good point to my "Chrysalis was good at first" Theory. Also I couldn't get away so of the Warcraft references Dreanor(former homeworld of the Orchis Horde) and Uther the Lightbringer(One of the first Paladins killed by Arthas) Very nice story above all else above.
ponysquare.com/file/pic/photo/2012/04/a8c346f67adeae71dd91a2700f1196f9_500.jpg

Thanks guys! :rainbowkiss:

Oh and Razvan... Hmm well I didn't know of these references.. xP I actually got Uther from the legend of Merlin.. and Draenor I thought just sounded cool so.. :P

This is looking suitably awesome so far. Me gusta.

>> RavenTears
I thought Uther sounded familiar!

Interesting. Your take on Chrysialas as once part of some butterfly race is interesting, i'll read the next chapter, thanks for this!

Honestly, I'm kinda glad you were making WoW references. It was kinda distracting, though that may be because I dislike the game.

You have succeeded in retaining my interest. :ajsmug:

Edit: This is definitely not me claiming first post. Nope, definitely not that.

Lots of potential here. I'll be back for more.

plz update faster and make longer chapters:twilightsmile:

@Zebragirl
Trust me, I'll update faster with longer chapters :raritywink: I've just been so busy with stuff... but now that's all done so I have time! Thanks for reading!

Maybe it's just me, but this chapter seems really hard to keep up with. It's really confusing. Is Zephyra imposting Chrysalis? Or was she Chrysalis all along? And is the death of a king from the past, or present? Where the hell did that god-family come from? I'm lost.

I'm sorry it's confusing.. It made sense in my head xD I'll edit it :) But to answer your questions...
Zephyra was imposing as Chrysalis, but only for a small amount of time-behind her back. The Chrysalis that spoke all through the story, besides the time between Kajen and Eydis, was the real Chrysalis. I tried to note her change in attitude once they announced the engagement.
The death of the King was Zephyra's flashback moment, from when her siblings had last met. The god-family is her family.
I'm sorry if that wasn't clear :c

I think you need to more clearly define where the flashback starts as well as when it's Zephyra instead of Chrysalis.

Vinyl_Scratch: Yeah, I edited it... I hope it's more clear! :twilightsmile:

Hey guys.. sorry it's been awhile :c Freshman year... :P I'll have it up soooon :3

This is great! :pinkiehappy: Keep up the good work!
I hope you don't mind, but I started a fic on Chrysalis's past before I saw this. :twilightblush: I didn't copy you, they really aren't alike. Sorry, I hope you don't mind!

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