- Member Since 30th May, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 15th, 2016
Askfoxxy
Foxxy, thats me, I write and shit, rap, make music. Request something and I'll do it. I collab a lot with Magicolt808 and silversky
Stats
Page generated in 0.138 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
240,051 hits today, 2,658,435 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
If you're going to do a mutilation story, then keep it in character as much as possible. Why is Rarity suddenly eager to butcher her friends? Why is she cursing? Why dresses? You can't just have a bunch of pointless gore as your story in order for it to be interesting. Then again, it's also unfinished, so hopefully you'll be able to at least put in a little development.
I agree. Please, some sort of reason? She doesn't suddenly turn violent and kill her BEST friends over something stupid like a dress.
I am a fan or horror and and generally dark fics, it is an area we explore in fandom rather often, however it is hard to do well; most fics of this style need development in this case. You launched us into the gore with no incite of anything, I really hope more analysis or development comes after this, but, for me, the reasons building up to the murder need to be persuaded and displayed BEFORE the murder.
Cupcakes is an exception because the gore is simply riveting and the characters are brilliantly creepy. It's not for me to say what makes a good horror fic, but if you were looking to improve, these are some points to address:
Develop the thoughts behind the murders BEFORE they happen.
We like seeing what others are thinking, yes? We are interested in murderers, yes? Splice two.
Gore in a dark story is what we expect, but what you did wasn't really the norm. Instead of showing us the mutilations, the agony they were in, the maddened Rarity taking joy in their murder, you left it all out; this means that you have missed out on a major method of showing how broken her mind actually.
i think you should have showed the death of the girls and i also agree i mean how did she get all mean and cruel and why did she do this?
I'm sorry I can't get into it. I always wanted someone to do a story on Rarity being the killer but I don't find this written well. I'm actually disappointed
.
695096 Type in Raritys new dress, on google, not fimfiction, thats a good rarity gore story
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
694846
I was thinking a of a part 2, which takes place before part 1.
If that's what you're all wondering, it explains a lot of the story
God dammit...
We got another Cupcakes fanfic over here.
"Hey! Pinkie"
695296 Ok thanks I check it out.
while eating jujues. i feel sick.
I'm going to complain now.
The plot moves too fast, Rarity's out of character, and the stitching on Rarity's mouth in the picture clearly called for Haute Couture.
Other than that, good story.
697295
Chapter two will explain why this has happened.
I understand some of it. Generosity is something that is taken for granted. It does indeed have bounds. If you push the limit, the stakes can be high. Insanity can often follow by being pushed to far and by being used. Outside parties are often too worked up in either their own fantasies or are to naive to stop and look. I thought your story was nice. I thought the song was entertaining, and i especially like how you chose Rarity to go crazy. Generosity is like a piece of wood. It'll give you lots of support. Push to hard and it snaps.
Actually, Im leaving at this.
For a not-quite-as-good, and annoyingly long Rarity blood kill gore action, um... thingy, please look up 'Sewing them together.'
Shameless advertising. :(
Anyway, were was I? Oh yeah, I really liked the song! It made me laugh, then question why I was laughing, then curl up into a tight ball in a dark room. You should probably do a prequel or part 2 or whatever.
-Weatherstorm
I like this.