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A Romantic Romance for a Romancer [The Hat Mann]1,746 words

A Romantic Romance for a Romancer [The Hat Mann]

Author's Note:

This chapter contributed by The Hat Mann.

“So how exactly do you think I’m getting home?”

This caused Octavia’s train of thought to come to a screeching halt mid-bite of her daffodil sandwich. When she’d appeared, this strange human woman had tried to put her and her friend Vinyl in a couple, her ‘ship’. But it hadn’t gone as planned and Octavia then explained to her that she already shipped Vinyl with another pony. With that out of the way, Spectrum Shine and Octavia had set Vinyl up with Neon Lights and then went out into Ponyville to explore the scenery, greet the residents and ship anyone that they came into contact with. Such is the life of a Tumblr user. They’d only recently stopped for lunch in one of Ponyville’s cafés.

“Actually, now that I think about it, I have no idea. I suppose we could go to see Princess Twilight about the whole thing.” Octavia inwardly applauded her quick thinking. If anyone could sort out this situation, it was Twilight with her incomparable knowledge to the arcane arts.

The young woman took a slow and deliberate bite of her apple, the one thing she found edible on the menu, and chewed thoughtfully. “You want to trust transdimensional travel to a mare who’s made the entire town go crazy over a doll and create several separate timelines that destroy Equestrian society as we know it?” The woman looked at the mare who, to be honest now, had a slightly scared look on her face. She took another bite of the apple. “Eh, I’m game. But right now though, the sun is still up and there’s some ponies I ain’t met yet.” Octavia could only nod as they continued to eat their respective meals.

Octavia left her silverware and plate on the table while Spectrum Shine simply threw her apple core into a bin. They had already paid for their food so they were soon wandering the streets again.

“So, got any places that we could go for something sweet? I need more than an apple to fill me up.” The human was looking down at the grey earth pony as they both wandered the streets while trying to ignore the surprised stares of multiple ponies eyeing the new person in town.

Octavia stopped for a second and put a hoof under her chin in a thoughtful manner. “Well, there is Sugarcube Corner. I hear the Cakes have some new delights on sale and I heard they were personally baked by Pink—” A hand quickly clasped itself against her mouth so her words were cut off. She looked incredulously at her human captor who had a panicked look on her face and gave her a look that said ‘what the hell do you think you’re doing?’

“Don’t. Say. Her name,” Spectrum Shine whispered sharply, but in a slightly fearful tone.

“But why not? You said you’ve seen her on the show so you know what she’s like.”

Before she knew it the hand left her mouth and the whole area was darkened with clouds even though it had been sunny seconds before, and a spotlight somehow shone on Spectrum Shine who had put herself in a dramatic pose that reminded Octavia of one of those Anime shows.

“She is the one who must not be named. The Oncoming Storm. The Destroyer of Worlds. Her powers are beyond anyone or anything imaginable. She has done the impossible and continues to do so to this, very, day.” She moved her head to look at the grey earth pony who up until that moment didn’t realise what a weird and terrifying experience this was.

“B-but it’s just little Pinkie. Why would she do stuff to be described like that?” To be honest with herself, Octavia didn’t want an answer. But she got one anyway as the human slowly walked towards her.

“Because some ponies aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with.” And now Spectrum Shine had gotten so close to Octavia they could feel each other's warm breath on their fur and skin as a hand gently cupped and lifted Octavia’s chin so they could stare into each other’s eyes. Her next words coming out in a slow whisper. “Some ponies just want to watch the world burn.”

Their faces inched ever closer, a blush growing on both of their faces as their lips were about to conne—

“HUMAN!”

This brought both pony and human heads to turn and give a respective “wut?”

Faster than they could anticipate a greenish blur hurtled itself into the side of Spectrum Shine and sent her flying into the dirt. All with the grace of a wrecking ball.

“Oh my goodness I am so sorry! I just saw you and thought ‘hey, a human’ and I sorta lost it.”

Blurs and specks in her eyes eventually melded back into coherent shapes and she saw the face of Octavia looking worriedly at her but also…

“Lyra? Is that really you?”

The mint coloured unicorn gave the floored human a hoof up while giving an apologetic smile. “Yeah, that’s my name. Look, I’m really sorry. To make it up to you, I have a friend who owns a sweet shop and is probably making really good tea right about this time. Would you like to come over?”

Spectrum Shine looked towards Octavia and gave a pleading look to the mare. ‘They have sweets and tea’ mouthed the human. Octavia conceded and have a small nod to her human companion.

Spectrum Shine looked back to Lyra. “So where’s this shop?”

⚢

Now sitting in the back room of ‘Bon Bon’s Sweets ‘n’ Stuff’, Spectrum Shine was sitting on a sofa next to Octavia and opposite to them seperated by a coffee was a mint coloured unicorn and a cream coloured earth pony, the latter who had just brought out tea and for the umpteenth time apologised for her friend’s actions.

“Please, Bon Bon, it’s perfectly fine. I half-expected a scenario like this to play out when first coming here. I just didn’t know when. The human woman had a sip of her tea, smiling at the perfect taste.

The earth pony in question still gave an apologetic smile. “While that may be the case, I still believe you should know that me and Lyra,” she accentuated her name and gave a small glare to the mare in question sitting next to her who could only give a sheepish grin, “are terribly sorry about all this and we hope you accept our humblest apologies Oh, and I hope the free sweets are to your liking It’s the least we could do.”

Octavia decided to take over for Spectrum Shine in appeasing the locals. “Your apology and gifts are accepted and we forgive both of you. Now I have something I have to ask. How did you know where we were?”

Lyra perked up when she heard this and pulled out a small device seemingly out of nowhere with her magic that looked like it was made with all sorts of bits and pieces.

“I tracked you down with this. This is my human detector. It goes ‘ding’ when there’s humans nearby. It’s still in its development stages as while it is useful for finding lost humans, it tends to—” Her sentence was cut off as the small device shook violently and flew out the window. “… go berserk when coming into contact with any type of magic.” She gave a sheepish smile. “But it hasn’t caused anything bad.”

*Crash* “My cabbages!”

*Thump* “My hat!”

*Rip* “My face!”

The unicorn gave a nervous laugh and used her magic to quickly shut the window. Bon Bon blinked and turned back to her guests.

“So, what brings a human like yourself to Equestria? On a vacation? Or is it another one of these times where you’ve popped up here without question to save the world or gain superpowers or something?”

Spectrum Shine shrugged absentmindedly. “Or something, I guess. Not the best explanation I know but back where I come from, we could practically fill a library with the amount of Human in Equestria stories that’ve been written. It’s both incredible, and weird. But mostly weird.”

She placed her teacup after finishing it on the table and leant back on the sofa fighting the urge to put her feet on the table. “So how long have you two been together?”

Bon Bon’s tea suddenly went down the wrong hole causing her to cough and splutter while Lyra began to laugh. Octavia looked at Spectrum Shine with a disapproving look, which she ignored of course.

Bon Bon finally got control of her words. “W–well you see me and Lyra are… well we’re just… what I’m TRYING to say is… oh, for the love of— fine! Yes, we’re together. But how did you know?! We haven’t told anpony yet!”

Spectrum Shine looked at the frazzled mare with amusement in her eyes. “Well for starters, you two have been my OTP for as long as I can remember. That or only since the Slice of Life episode. Another is that while you two usually squabble and argue which you’ve mostly been doing in the kitchen because you thought we couldn’t hear you, (spoilers: we can) you two still have a strong friendship that couldn’t exist without something backing it up. And my final reason:”

She moved her open hands in a circular movement. “Magic!”

The human looked to her watch and seemingly noticed the time as she sprung from the sofa. “Anyway, thanks for the tea and candy. But we’ve got stuff to do. Y’know, ponies to meet, bodies to rock, that sorta thing.” She grabbed Octavia’s hoof and pretty much dragged her along who was whining about not finishing her tea.

“Thanks again!” The door slammed shut and the sound of feet and hooves on dirt slowly quieted down until the only noise left in the house was the constant ticking of a wall clock.

“Well that was something,” Lyra said. “Maybe we should have guests more often, eh Bonnie?” She looked to her partner who only held a thousand-yard stare.

“Never again, Lyra.”

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