Spike and Twilight go for a morning walk through the snow-covered hills near Ponyville.
I'm an experienced writer and editor who happens to like ponies.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Those wolves attacked who?!?
My Lambkins!
Hmmmmm
A nice mood piece,
Regular wolves are an improvement on Timber Wolves: at least they don't join together Voltron-style into a megawolf when outmatched.
7471197 Yeah, I thought that was a step up.
10/10 dude!!
7471996 yay
Picturesque
That was very nice. I've never read a story so soothing.
I’ve got mixed emotions with this one. I like scenic pieces like this, the imagery is beautiful, and the pace is slow enough for the reader to enjoy it. I have some quibbles about the lax plotline. There is not much in the way of action. However, that is on my end. There is no right or wrong way to write something, and this lives up to what was promised.
The beginning is especially strong, especially with a line like this one that’s got me hooked from the get-go:
I was hoping that the story would connect the idea to the scene, and it does so twice: the squirrels and the wolves
Even so, with the second paragraph, the beautiful descriptions set the pace.
Twilight’s living in the moment. Cozy.
Another beautiful spot with the sun in their eyes:
Now, I thought that the scene with the wolves would offer a change in pace, and it did, just not what I expected. That’s not a bad thing, as it does change it a little bit without betraying the overall tone of the story.
Nice flourish at the finish, with the close of tying up all the loose ends. two different perspective offered: unnerving fear and solemn respect for the encounter. Thankfully, they were blinded by the sun enough to catch it.
Well done!
11148676
Thank you! This was a departure for me as well, so I’m glad people enjoy it. I really like the read-aloud linked in the description, I listen to it now and then on a bad day.
i find it hard to write children well, and so was impressed with how on-the-nose this felt, overapplying a previous fact that was just learned.
and coming back to it again for the last line of dialogue in the piece was a great choice, contrasting the meditation on wolves with a bit of levity.
really liked the contrast between the analytical and intuitive sides of Twilight here
the lush descwork really brings to mind the idea of mindfulness itself, which Twilight definitely practices here, and lets us drink in the details of this world as if we were right there with her, finding beauty and magic in something as simple and everyday as a winter walk. and the presence of the wolves, the touch of the wild and unknown, was also great here, as Ponyville's position by the Everfree always made it seem like a place halfway between tamed and untamed, making it a great setting for stories. this does truly feel like what a slice of life would be in such a place, and is a touching and genuine Twilight/Spike story besides.
11148917
Thank you! For a long time, I struggled with overdoing descriptions, and it seems I’ve struck a good balance with this one. I’m glad you enjoyed it as much as I do!
A nice meditative piece for a morning where it’s finally managed to crack 10℉.
11152653
It’s not that cold where I am, but I know the feeling!