• Member Since 24th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Bronyxy


Pony fan inspired by great writers such as Pen Stroke and Conner Cogwork

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Who were the first alicorns and where did they come from?

Who were the first immortal alicorns?

What price had to be paid and by whom to grant them this most unique of gifts?

A story of love and self-sacrifice.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 25 )

-sees S1 Princes Luna on the cover- -happy sigh <3 :heart:

9293241
It would be wrong any other way my friend.
Thanks for noticing!
:twilightsmile:

9293246
Your welcome =3


I want to know from you: am I not wrong for loving Princess Luna's S1 Design a whole lot more than her S2 Onwards Design? ^^; :twilightsheepish:

Many bets were lost on receiving that news...

I love this story

9293256
Thank you for your kind words!
:twilightsmile:

Ohhhhhh that ending was kind of cold.

9293302
I was building up to it through the story, but I was crying as I wrote it.
:fluttercry:

9293249
I think both designs (and also that of NMM) suit the different phases of her development. In this case I was writing about a young Luna who had only just come of age, and as such this was the right design to choose, in the same way as my choice for a pink maned (and slimmer!) Celestia. I think the later Luna design is especially beautiful, but would have liked to have seen more of the S1 design for a fairer comparison. Perhaps future episodes could have flashbacks to her earlier life?

If I can flip the question back to you; Sunset Shimmer is a great character, but which is better, her pony or her EQG persona (I see you have both on your avatar ...)?

9293340
He gives them no consent whatsoever and is just like “Well your the rulers now do your job.”

Legit I was kind of mad

9293355
Ok

Pony Sunset Shimmer for me <3 :heart:

Tears here, Tears there, Tears everywhere, the floodgates have been open :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

9293359
He was leaving them to give them space to grieve while he went to start taking care of the legal formalities. I was at pains to point out that Clover was a close family friend, and as such would not leave the young mares without support; he just wanted to give them a little space.

9293373
It does get increasingly tragic when it dawns slowly what the real cost is going to be, especially as Celly and Lulu are not being told the whole truth. I was crying as I wrote it, because I knew how it was going to end.

9293394
Is it bad that even if I’m writing a story that I know how it ends and I know it’s sad and I know that it’s personal and I know how the character feels I don’t cry? I don’t know why but when I made Gekyume I wasn’t fully sure whether to continue with him or to scrap him. And when I was writing the story even though I knew that it had all happened to me and it had hurt me that I felt numb? I find it personally difficult to cry at things, I don’t know why, but I do. Has that ever happens to you?

9293418
That's a really difficult question and also very personal too, but I'll try and do my best.

Many people, especially guys are taught to suppress their feelings, and some cultures are more supportive than others in allowing people to be open about their emotions. Under these conditions it must be very hard to express yourself through any medium, including writing, so some writers are always going to be facing an uphill struggle trying to articulate emotions they have been conditioned not to feel.

In this case, I had an outline as to how the story would develop and I followed a method acting philosophy to imagine how I would feel as each of the major characters, and tried to write the emotion I felt from their perspective; the King doing what he felt was right and hiding his feelings right up to the end while trying to reassure everypony through bad jokes, the Queen less worried about her own mortality than her children being barren, Luna being attentive to the feelings of others and eager to please, Celestia exploding at Clover when she finds too late they've not been told the whole truth, and Clover who knew how it would play out but kept calm throughout. Some of those perspectives were very emotional and as I wrote, I felt their pain, so sure, I cried.

I hope this has helped.

9293493
It did. I was taught that you suppress your emotions in public but you feel whatever you want when you’re alone. It’s not easy, but it’s just something I guess you learn overtime and don’t think about it.

Thanks

9293511
Why not try the method acting approach that I adopted in this story and consider all the influences on an individual character and see how they would react in a dramatic situation, then repeat the process from another character's perspective and see how it turns out? When you compare the outcomes, you'll find you have a covered a broad spectrum of emotions.
I hope it works for you.
Good luck!

Interesting little back story for the Princesses. Makes you wonder if undealt with grief or guilt might have played a small part in Luna's later tragedy with NMM. Poor Clover, well, at least the Princesses didn't rage out and send him to Tartarus, or worse. Thumbs up for sure.

9294348
Yes, you make a good point; Luna spends more time on her own than her sister, so had more time to dwell on the residual grief and guilt - it had to have been a factor. As for Clover; at least he didn’t end up in a vat of cake mix!
Thanks for your support!

Nicely done! This is just the kind of headcanon/backstory tale that I really like to read (and write)! :twilightsmile:
Who says a sad story can't be good? So long as the sacrifice the characters make is for a good cause, and well-motivated, as it is here.

I do wish we could have seen and learned a little more about the King and Queen themselves (even their names!), but fair's fair, this is about Celestia and Luna's coming of age, so it makes sense that they're the focus.

If I can make one other suggestion, the opening is a little prose-heavy; the story proper doesn't really get going until the King starts speaking in the second chapter (but then again, there's a lot of backstory to work in here... suggestion: maybe work it in as flashbacks, or conversations between the nobles at dinner.)

9300508
Thank you for your kind words and constructive comments.:twilightsmile:

There is surprisingly little canon lore about where Celestia and Luna came from and whilst this does allow free rein to develop your own ideas, it also means you can begin to contradict other established headcanon ideas very easily! So, to me, picking names for the King and Queen was only likely to distract from their role in the story, which was self-sacrifice.

As you say, there is a lot of backstory to work in, so I hoped this approach would be palatable along the lines of "Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters ..." but it was a coin toss!

Thanks for your support and I hope you can stop by again soon!

Okay. That was legitimately one of, if not, the best backstory for Celestia and Luna have ever read! Both the concept and the self-sacrifice tie into the theme of the show perfectly! I wouldn’t even be mad if this was the canon story, because I think it’s actually what Lauren Faust had in mind, when it came to Celestia and Luna’s backstory with the Castle of the Two Sisters.

9676679
That's some of the highest praise I've ever received - thank you so much!
The story did resonate with me too, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Thanks for your kind words!

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