• Member Since 26th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen January 3rd

Scribblestick


I'm an experienced writer and editor who happens to like ponies.

E
Source

Twilight's working on a new spell to get back at Rainbow Dash for her yearly Nightmare Night pranks. But things start to go wrong, and Twilight begins to wonder if this last spell is more than she bargained for.

Thanks to PiquoPie for being a great editor.

Cover image from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 1 Episode 2.

Live reading by The Living Library Player Society on November 9, 2012: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1LfrgKKVpKM

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 36 )

I too am working on a submission for this. Granted, I had the idea before they announced it.

*Checks time* Darn, I have school! I'll add this to my "read later" list.

Sees that "read later" list is 14 stories long.

*Bookmarks*

creepy, but good

1463442 Your 'read later' list is fourteen stories long? Lucky you
Mine is 102

1463442 I know the feeling...

I knew exactly what was going on when AJ checked out the book. I really would like to know what the spell is though. That very last line gave me shivers.

1464165 Then my job here is done. :twilightsmile:

1464281

You will tell me what the spell was and you will tell me. NOW.

1464333

:twilightangry2: NO! Equestria must never know!

No chills but still a thrilling read none the less.

The moment I read that this story was written as an entry for an Equestria Daily "Nightmare Night" contest, I figured it wasn't going to be very good. The people who run that site are a bunch of fascist wusses when monitoring grimdark content. Actually, disregard that. They're a bunch of fascist wusses, period.

But this was actually pretty well done and you did a decent job of keeping some story elements secret so as to amplify the creepy, suspenseful feel that you get when reading stuff like this. Nice job.

1464834 Thanks! :twilightsmile:

Also, I like your username.

My stomach was actually full of butterflies reading this.
I've never been that freaked. Not even by Cupcakes.

1463442>>1463732 My read later list is 205. Get on my level.. lol

1464369(ScribbleStick)

So...

Who was writing in Twilight's diary? Can you tell us that?

1468387 Twilight, mostly. (trollface) :trixieshiftleft:

I have my idea of who else wrote in her diary, but I'm interested in seeing what everyone else thinks. Theories, anyone?

1468575(ScribbleStick)

You have a real good story here, but there are two things I discovered/theorized;

1. You definetly drew some inspiration from "The Ring." Think about it;
The Ring; You watch a video tape: seven days later, you inexplicably die.
Shadowbolt; You see the scary spell that Twilight casts: ten days later, you 'join the ranks of the Shadowbolts.'
You did use the material real well, however, not making some sort of rip-off, but a genuine story that has the potential to chill you to the bone. And I applaud you for that.

2. Since ponies who see the spell turn into the Shadowbolts, (aka Nightmare Moon's lackeys) wouldn't it be fair to say that the spell Twilight is using is somewhat similar to using an illusion spell to create/summon a form of Nightmare Moon?

Also, if I had to guess what the name of the spell was;

Cauchemar Luna; Illusion og κάτοικοι tacita

Wanna know what this says? (Hint; Use google translate the last two words were supposed to be "Deizen Summoner" Believe it or not, the title is part Danish, Latin, Spanish, German and Dutch)

1468677 Hmm, I hadn't noticed the similarities to "The Ring." Must have been my subconscious.

And that spell name... complicated, but I like it. :twilightsmile:

1468886(ScribbleStick)

Thanks. Over-analyzing is one of my talents, but to Scootaloos Sweetie Belles and Appleblooms chagrin, I don't know what a cutie mark for over-analyzing would look like.:applecry::unsuresweetie::scootangel:

One last question; What ulterior motives would the 'Shadowbolts' have for dragging more 'initiates' into their 'group?'
Are they trying to revive Nightmare Moon like in the fanfic "Past Sins"?


Also, if you ever make a sequel delving further into this story, may I suggest;

The Shadowbolts vs. Slenderpony and his Operators?

That would be the epic shitstorm battle of Equestria's time.

1469209

What ulterior motives would the 'Shadowbolts' have for dragging more 'initiates' into their 'group?'

That is, indeed, the question, isn't it? Keep in mind that this was caused by Twilight's spell, which begs the question: Are the Shadowbolts in control, or is there something else controlling them?

'Tis a mystery, one I will leave unanswered for now.

On a side note, I'm going to have to read up on Slenderpony now.

1469352(ScribbleStick)

May the shitstorm be with you and always stay epic.

1469352

"'Tis a mystery, one I will leave unanswered for now."

Do I smell a sequel?
Also, that was snazzy. Even I I somehow feel that RD was the worst off. (Not sure why).

You should submit this to the EQD Halloween fic competition.

1468575
I believe it to be her inner thought trying to worn her.
Or the spell twisting her mind.:pinkiecrazy:

Very... creepy, I sorta read this a whole ago when it came out initially on here, but decided to reread it again more thoroughly later (and apparently did, nearly 2 months later). I feel it's either Twilight's friends or the original Shadowbolts writing in her journal and dunno if the spell was actually called Shadowbolt, though I tend to doubt so. And I'm confused as to how it didn't affect Twilight like the others or how she thinks they'd recruit her to their ranks (if they didn't steal the book and Rarity wouldn't be casting it, considering she's still a unicorn, from what I understood), but meh.

The story made me feel chills, even if it wasn't while I was reading, but afterwards from thinking about it. So... congrats on doing that, I suppose, as I don't think there's a lot in my history of reading that's done that. Well done job on this creepypasta kind of story, I must admit! Even if don't exactly like it, but eh, I chose to read it and such, even recalling the details from last time. :twilightsheepish:

Um... So, what happened to the rest of the town? Why did none if them try and help Twilight when possessed ponies were trying to break into her house? Did the Shadowbolts kill/convert them all? After three-four days of attacks, or at least more ponies going missing, why didnt the Guards call for backup? Why didn't Twilight contact Celestia sooner? Spike, who was raised by Celestia according to Word of Faust, and her best friends are missing. That isn't the kind of thin Twilight would just sit in and hope it got better. Also, if several of the Elements of Harmony, best friends of her faithful student, why wouldn't Celestia come herself? Also, if the word Shadowbolts was found, an organization that fight for Nightmare Moon, why wouldn't the Guard send more than just a few? When he found out that this was happening all around his little sister, why wouldn't Shining Armor come himself, or at least send more Guards? For that matter, why didn't Princess Luna come? I would think she would feel some sort of responsibility.

Don't misunderstand, I liked this. It was nice and creepy, but the only way it works is if the characters are playing hot potato with the Idiot Ball.

I was all exicited to see what would happen to twi. I mean shadow bolts coool.

And then comes the part of the horror story where we have no idea what the hellassballs happened. Or more importantly, why it happened.
I hate that part.

I first read this story somewhere during mid-last year. I don't know why, but I suddenly remembered it and decided to read it again.

Still as effective as ever.

I really want to see Twilight shadowboltified !!

1464333
The spell doesn't have a name, if it did, it probably wouldn't have been written in the book it was in. It was probably a spell NMM was working on to expand her legion before she was banished to the moon. Spells that are created for a purpose are usually named after it's completed and judged on how well it performs, it probably wasn't done yet when twilight casted it. Beta spells are dangerous.

I really liked this story. Pretty spooky. Didn't get any chills though, I guess I have seen things like this too often.

8876137
Thanks! I don't write a lot of suspense/horror, so spooky is a good start. :twilightsmile:

Applejack came by today to find a book about cures for insomnia. She’s not usually one to check out books like that, so I asked her if anything was wrong. She said no, but she definitely looks like she hasn’t slept well in a couple days. Maybe she’s working too hard again—though I guess that wouldn’t explain the insomnia.

Uh doc, I would have to edge a guess on the spell your working on...

Welp time to stop ya!
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