"You See My Lady, I Am One Hell Of A Butler"

by SIlverBullet

Chapter 7: The Book, A Princess, The Organisation

Author's Note:

Man, I really have not done this in ages and it shows too. My writing has dropped severely and I apologise if it affects this story. I mean, I have not done this one in soo long as well as the motivation to continue it. But after a while, I have found my motivation and more ideas have erupted into my mind. I will continue to try and write this as much as I can because I am starting to like it once again.
Feedback is much appreciated... and I think I need it if I want this to be back on par with how it used to be... ha ha....ha...yea~h

The purple Alicorn plodded down the castle's hallway with a genial smile as the sun shone through the window panes. It was morning, and she was ready to move out and help Fluttershy with her animals while she spends time with Discord. Twilight had everything she wanted to take with her in a somewhat large saddlebag; refreshments, cleaning utensils and reading material that only consisted of the large guideline book for True Valets' Butlers and Maids which placed some strain on her left side from the weight. It is going to be a perfect day to sit back and relax as Fluttershy's housesitter.

It isn't everyday Fluttershy asks for a favour and Twilight is not going to let her down. The day is going to be a day with just herself and some little critters within Fluttershy's cottage where the Alicorn is going to sit back and relax with some reading of the Butler guidelines while sipping some freshly brewed tea. Twilight trotted through the castle's hallway with glee about the full day ahead. She was excited as she managed to walk past Spike, who was holding a couple of books under his arm past her, without noticing him. Before Spike could get a single word out of his mouth, she was already round the corner and into the atrium of the castle. Spike tapped his chin followed by a shrug as if he slightly did not care as he had a plan for today as well.

Twilight left the Castle premises with her saddlebag filled with her essentials and made the start of a twenty-minute stroll towards Fluttershy's cottage. The sound of everypony's voices and laughter could be heard as she walked past them all, some even greeting the royal Alicorn with a smile and wave. She knows how much friendship means to everypony and is so glad she found hers here in Ponyville and right now Fluttershy needs her hoof. After a long walk, she managed to make it to Fluttershy's cottage where the yellow pegasus and Discord stood with a smile outside the cottage door.

"Took you long enough, Princess." Discord's smile turned upside down followed by his signature scoff that made Twilight rolled her eyes at him "you can roll your eyes all you want, Princess, it doesn't excuse you from being late." he finished by snapping his fingers and spawning in a coo coo clock in front of the Princess that made her flinch as it went off.

"Discord!" Fluttershy scowled at the entity of chaos in her soft, charming tone that always made everypony smile. The Draconequus groaned as he slumped towards the Pegasus mare next to him looking disappointed followed by the clock disappearing "be nice to her, she is the reason why we can go and spend some time together. So be polite and have some manners."

Twilight giggled in response while raising her hoof towards Fluttershy shaking her head "Don't worry about it, Fluttershy. I am twelve minutes late so I can totally relate to what Discord is saying."

The yellow mare sighed through her nose as a gentle smile formed towards Twilight "I always know you won't break a promise, Twi." The Pegasus walked a few feet past the purple Alicorn before turning around "So it doesn't matter what Discord says, even if we miss our train he could always, you know, teleport us there."

"Pffft!" Discord huffed as he waved his arms up then down before walking next to Fluttershy "Oh, now you want me to use my magic even though somepony made me promise with a signature."

Twilight raised her eyebrow at Discord's words in confusion "She made you sign a contract so you wouldn't use magic?"

"I know right; everything is better with a tad of chaos and unknowingness." Discord chuckled making Fluttershy giggle with a shake of her head "It's true, I mean, who doesn't like chocolate rain and candyfloss clouds?"

Fluttershy giggled in response towards Discord before tilting her head down towards Twilight in a confirming gesture "Are you sure you're going to be alright watching the little creature while I am gone, Twilight?"

The purple Alicorn gave a proud smile while putting a hoof on her chest "It's just watching over them until you get back. Being all to myself in silence while having tea will help me mentally. Also, it gives me a break from the eyes of Ettore."

"Who?" Discord asked with an intrigued gaze at Twilight.

"Oh nothing, just my own personal Butler that Celestia hired for me. No biggie." Twilight waved a hoof before pointing away from the cottage with a now more concerned look "Now go or you will miss your train."

"Oh, my!" Fluttershy's wings spread with a face full of shock before turning around and taking flight before suddenly coming to a stop and turning around towards Twilight on the ground, shouting "I am so sorry for going, please take care of everyone while I am gone. Let's go, Discord, Canterlot Gardens is where we are heading."

"I bid you good day, Princess." Discord bowed before snapping his fingers and spawning in a leaf blower with a saddle. He hopped onto it that made it whinney and buck like a horse before it turned on and flew away next to Fluttershy. Twilight flinched back on what she just witnessed with a few blinks. She shouldn't be too surprised as it is Discord and his tomfoolery in play. He can get a little bit overboard sometimes, but that is what makes it fun in a strange and optimistic outlook. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, is always delicate no matter what the circumstances. She could be all alone in the forest, find a lost critter and help its way back to its home, at night as well. She might be shy and afraid, but she has more courage than Rainbow Dash in specific events.

Twilight's horn lit up as she turned around towards the cottage door, opening it lightly to have a look inside from the door entrance. She was greeted by a flock of colourful birds flying towards her that pulled the attention away from inside the cottage. She turned her head over her shoulder to watch them fly to their nests on the trees that brought a luxurious ambience. The sight formed a smile on her face before taking a few steps into the cottage. The inside was Fluttershy-esk, a beautiful warm sunset rug on the lime green wooden floor as she entered, birdhouses hung from the ceiling, a long couch right at the back of the room on a pink rung while a fireplace was directly on her right with a kitchen entrance to the left.

The Alicorn took a few steps towards the staircase to have a look up to notice the wooden end of a bed in plain sight where she was. Twilight let out a sweet hefty sigh as breeze followed her in through the door, brushing her mane making it flow towards the seating. Using her magic, a purple aura surrounded her saddlebag just before it lifted off her back giving her sweet release from the weight and placing it just beneath the couch. She giggled as she clambered on the seat, spreading out her wings as she laid on her back staring at the birdhouse hung ceiling. It was soo Fluttershy to place birdhouses on the ceiling while ramps were leading to mouse holes on the walls here and there. How can see live with so many little creatures...well... some not so small as a bear comes and goes sometimes.

Twilight suddenly turned towards the door to notice she forgot to shut the door. Too lazy, she used her magic to gently close the door followed by opening up her saddlebag and passing out the True Valet's Handbook. She tilted the book left and right to see the width of the book only to chuckle in uncertainty for how thick it is. Crawling left and right on her back, she managed to get the end with her back on the pillow that made her comfortable.

"Okay, Twi," The Alicorn sighed out as she closed her eyes before opening the book with her magic and taking a look at the first page "Let's see what we got here."

Her eyes opened to be greeted with a blank page that made her roll her eyes before turning the page once more to see the words 'True Valet's Butler and Maid Guidelines' in bold in the middle with a small sentence 'Butler or Maid not included' that made the Alicorn shake her head. The page flipped over with her magic revealing the contents on the next sheet with a long list of numbers before the rule. She read from the beginning to see the first one was in bold and underlined 'True Valet's will always have a final sayso in anything to do with the rules, Butlers or Maids, or company in general.' Clearly, you are meant to see this one as it shows the rules and anything can change. But why would you make a rulebook if it would change, would that make this outdated or older ones obsolete?

Twilight read the one underneath to notice 'The Master of said Butler of Maid is law and must be abided by accompanied Butler or Maid.' that one would explain why Ettore doesn't do any other requests apart from her, well, apart from that one time she got attacked in the kitchen. Sarah said stop to, what was her name again? Raven? Yeah, Raven, as well as Ettore. They both just halted in their attacks on her word. She must have been one of the higher-ups in Valet's for them to obey her.

She continued on reading.

'Butler or Maid should always be seen in proper work attire.'

'Butler or Maid can never hide any secrets from True valet's or his/her Master.'

'The required sleep for Butler or Maid is three hours, more if the Master demands.'

'Breakfast is served between the hours of seven and ten, brunch eleven to twelve.'

'The household must be in a perfect state at all times, no exceptions.'

'The Butler and Maid must have no intimate relationship with the Master or their associates if seen or caught they will be severely punished by the company.'

'Every Tuesday must have at least one taco served during dinner.'

'When interacting with his or her Master, they must bow or curtsy- Applies for their associates.'

'The Butler or Maid must know where the Master is at all times in case of an emergency.'

'During the full moon, a mooncake must be made and served.'

"...Oka~y." Twilight raised her eyebrow as she pulled her head back a few inches in wonder "Every Tuesday a taco must be served? Must a mooncake be made and served every full moon?"

She couldn't help but skim read the rest of the rules as there were some pretty messed up ones. Always use a yellow sponge on a weekday with one hoof in a bucket of ice. When in contact with wildlife, observe their behaviour and determine if they are a threat to the grass. When in the kitchen, a kettle must always be boiling with the purest water from the ice in the mountains... That explains why her tea tastes so good, to be honest. However, none of this explains why she and her friends have been ponyknapped and attacked, one being sent to the hospital from a light wound. None of the rules gives or says any clue about the reasons why they were attacked. Most of the rules are questionable if not profound stupid.

Getting up from her position and making her way through the kitchen door by the stairway, she used her magic to lift some tea leaves out of her bag before placing a kettle on a small oven fire before filling it up with water. Twilight hummed a relaxing tune as she set a teapot and cup on a small plate. She looked towards the ceiling thinking that a lot of the rules are nearly all about food while other are patterns in serving it, only a few about cleaning and how the Butler or Maid should act. The Alicorn pondered if there is no reason for the attacks and the offenders just wanted to mess with our lives, but that does not explain the bloodlust from Charris, Volken and Raven. They wanted us... This is serious, I have to figur-!

The sound of the kettle screaming swiftly brought her back to the real world, turning off the oven and pouring the water into the teapot with the leaves in it. Placing the pot and cup on a plate, she used her magic to bring them back into the living room; placing it down on the long couch. She poured herself some tea from the pot into the cup and took a sip. She flinched as the hot liquid singed her tongue forcing her to blow on it before taking another sip. Using her magic to lift the book, she continued to read on where she left off. She kept reading every rule and trying to figure out a sense of reason why. Upon nearing the end of the book, a loud groan came from the Princess followed by a loud pomf from her back landing on a pillow behind her. She raised her hoofs to her mane and gave it a friendly scuffle with a sudden pout.

"Why can't I find any information on these attacks!?" Twilight yelled as she opened to the last page, skipping the last third of the book. Her body sat up as she stared down at the last page of text, reading it allowed "The True Valet's Bout? What the heck is that?" her attention peered down the page to another long list of paragraphs "In the event of finding another Master with a Maid or Butler, anyone may issue a bout. The bout is initiated through, either, a verbal agreement on activity or a brawl between the Master's, Maid's or Butler's. The victor will not be prosecuted for any rule breaking and will receive any form of compensation they like (excludes another Butler or Maid). The losing party will pay any damage done to the Master's place of occupancy and be severely levied; this could include the departure of your Butler or Maid. if by chance it is a draw, both parties will not be accounted for."

Twilight stopped reading to take a sip of her tea, trying to figure out what and why about this before She suddenly slouched with a loud groan, rolling her eyes back before looking down at the page once more. Why would they do something like this? For their amusement? To see who the best Butler or Maid is? To make things interesting? In Twilight's eyes, this was wrong on so many levels. A fight between Masters for a prize. How can this be approved of? She slapped her cheeks before focusing on the text once again "The Butler or Maid may not initiate the bout on their own will unless the Master has given the order. The bout is void if the Master is not present for the start and end of the bout. There must be a referee for every bout. However, the Master will not know who it is and must never be told. The bout is over when, either, the Butler or Maid have lost and or unable to participate any longer. The Master is allowed to participate in the bout, however, in the form of a brawl, the rule changes to incapacitate them and first to wins." Twilight skipped to the last sentence "In the case of the death of Butler or Maid a new one will be appointed, however, in the case of the death of the Master the Butler or Maid will be appointed a new Master."

Twilight's eyes opened in shock on a particular word. Death. So anything goes in a brawl, but it can be disputed by other forms of activities. She was dragged into the bawls by force by Charis, but Raven's Master was not around, so that was void so only Ettore was going to get punished for breaking the harm to Master rule. He never got punished though, Sarah said he wouldn't. That would make Sarah a higher up, emphasis on would. She got up and off the couch before packing the book back in her saddlebag and lifting it up on her back before heading towards the door. She was determined for answers and Ettore is the closest thing she is ever going to get for them.

Leaving the cottage, the Alicorn locked the front door and placed the key in a nearby pot. She walked away from the house with a clear mind to figure out more about True Valet's and their objective. They must want more than money. Twilight made her way towards Ponyville on her way to Surgarcube corner because she left Ettore with Pinkie. She eventually stopped outside her destination looking around to see everypony talking, laughing and playing. It brought a smile to her face, Ponyville always does, and she wouldn't change it for anything.

Smash

The Alicorn yelped as she jumped back with her wings open with one hoof across the other in distraught. A large wooden cupboard came out through the window, shattering it into pieces that made everypony gasp in Twilight's direction. Her face tilted as she said aloud "Huh?!" as Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo jumped from the broken window followed by Pinkie and Ettore. The Alicorn gasped in shock as the house decided to erupt in a brown cake batter. The door was thrown off its hinges towards Twilight who sidestepped out of the way before looking at the group in shock.

"What the hay bails happened here?!!"

Comments

[forrest yuchnitz]

holy crap after 2 years an update

[TheDriderPony]

While I am glad to see the return of this, I also agree that the quality has slid somewhat. Maybe this was just released too quickly, but it is littered with small errors. A quick run-through with a spell checker would help immensely.