• Published 2nd Jun 2012
  • 3,487 Views, 50 Comments

What Went Wrong - ChaoticHarmony



Everypony makes fun of Derpy for her faults. It seems as if she feels nothing, but does she really?

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Epilogue: I Know Now

Dear Anypony who reads this,

I’m sorry that I always mess things up. I just don’t know how I do it. But, since you all want me gone, I’ll leave into the Everfree, where I won’t be seen again. Don’t come looking for me, I don’t want you to. I know that you all hate me, and I’m ok with that. I know what to do now. And I know what went wrong. I went wrong. Thank you for putting up with me so long everypony, but now I won’t mess up anything else where I’m going. Goodbye everypony.

Rainbow Dash read the letter with tears in her eyes, which dripped every so often to join the tears already soaked into the paper. She hugged the letter close to her as she whispered, “Oh Derpy…” Unable to say anything more, she sobbed aloud, not caring who saw her. Slamming her hoof into the table again and again, she cried for the kind mare that she had sent over the edge. She, Rainbow, had been the one to finally send her away. With an anguished cry, Rainbow shot out of the door, to search for the poor mare she had sent away, but she would never find her again.

On the desk sat a muffin, glistening with the tears of Rainbow Dash that shone in the setting sun.

Comments ( 42 )

I'm between liking and disliking it.
Why? Because it is short... too short. I feel that there was room for so much more. But thing is; it did get the point through, so I am left with this duality: want more Vs. good as it is.

With that in mind, I'll refrain from rating this story.

681901 why is this marked incomplete???
please let that mean something:fluttercry::fluttercry:

682664 Sorry mate... that's it. Story is over. Forgot to mark it complete.

However, if you feel like reading more of these, feel free to check out my other Sadfics! :trollestia::trollestia:

:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: good story, short and sad, but anyway good story:applecry::applecry:

This was quite the sad story. I really felt for Ditzy Hooves, I would be among those who would instinctively call her Derpy not knowing that it hurt, and her sorrow over her mistreatment.

I wish there was more, but I do like that you left the end open for interpretation. This is a sad story, but I'm going to go ahead and say that she wandered around the Everfree Forest until stumbling out of it. She turned to reenter it when she heard a voice. This voice invites her to dinner, so Ditzy can have a warm meal and a bath. While she's grateful for the kindness, Ditzy feels that it's only a matter of time before these ponies join those from Cloudsdale and Ponyville. The pony who invited her in is insistent that she stay, and Ditzy obliges.

Yeah, I'm the type that needs a happy ending. Not necessarily a 'happily ever after' ending, but an ending where at least there's hope on the horizon.

Sorry about the rant. Great story.

Was good, short, but good nonetheless :pinkiesad2:

that was short but :fluttercry: :raritycry: :applecry: ::pinkiesad2: it was good.

Yip

'tis too short to hold someone's interest, and it has a dominant feeling of telling and not showing.

I'm an emotional type of person and I can just say I got a bit of water in my eyes :raritycry: This story was good and short, just the way I like it.

682888 Try my other ones! They are good too!

:raritycry: Poor Ditzy :raritydespair: Just because the ponies in ponyville get frustrated with you doesn't mean no one loves you:fluttercry::applecry:

*clears throat*
There's already two fics w/ this title that star Derpy Hooves. :ajbemused:

683155 Oh.... well... :derpyderp1: Derp.

682754

If you wanted a happy ending to this, personally, the scenario that I could see happening would be that after wandering in the forest for a long time, probably getting injured, and starving, Ditzy collapses. While out gathering herbs, Zecora finds her, brings her back to her hut, and starts nursing her back to health. During the healing process, Zecora and Ditzy have some conversations about Ponyville and coping with prejudice. (Since, after all, she's been in a similar situation, with the same ponies, even.)

In the meantime, I'd probably see Rainbow Dash stopping by the hut at at least once, talking to Zecora about Ditzy, and how bad she feels about what happened, while Ditzy's in a nearby room listening. And, of course, eventually I'd see Ditzy getting her confidence in herself back. Not sure if she'd go back to Ponyville or somewhere else after that.

At least, that's how things would probably have played out if this were a longer (somewhat cliched) hurt/comfort fic, rather then a oneshot sad fic...:scootangel:

*flips table*. No! Shame on you all! Tis marked complete for a reason!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

Okay, seriously? This is the third fic with this same name! And both others have such a better reception than mine! :raritydespair:

I may change the name of mine, especially if I want to submit to EQD.

Anyways, good story, though it was insanely tragic.

Edit:
683155
Thanks for crediting me as well, Akiba.

683298. Sorry >.<. The title had come up in a Skype chat and I took it. Promise I wasn't stealing!:pinkiesad2:

683312

:rainbowlaugh: It's okay.

I'm thinking of changing my fic's name to "Flowers for Derpy Hooves" anyways, now I have a pretty good reason to.

In a shameless bout of self-promotion, I'd like it if you gave my fic a read! :twilightsmile: It's not long, I promise.

683326. I looked at it just now. It will be on my "read later" list.

:applecry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry: it's so sad my heart just melted, i'm gonna favorite it :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

This didn't make me sad at all. It just seemed so out of character for all the mane 6 especially Pinkie Pie since she is friends with every pony. It was really short and I don't really see where all the hate for her is coming from. It was okay, not bad, but not good to me.

683237

That works even better. I always forget about Zecora. Not sure why. Would make sense that she would provide aid and care for her.

Well, this is what happens when ponies are driven too far. My guess is that there are a lot of outcasts like her in there.

(from comment on previous page)... and there is the authentic Dash I know. You have a great ability to tug my heartstrings with so few words ... on both pages; for that, I'll give a thumbs up. It is a shame that this is the end; it has the feel of a great beginning to a longer story. Nevertheless, I believe the decision is best left to the writer; if they feel that there is nothing more to add, then best not force it.

760471 There is stuff I can add, but I don't want to. I prefer to leave it off like this. I do have other sadfics that are good as well, if you wish to go visit my page and read them :pinkiesad2:

Also, I am about to post the link to my best sadfic yet on my blog. So you can be one of the first readers!

760482 I've had a look and marked a few of your stories to read later. Although, I might have to pace myself; if you can tug my heartstrings after less than 1500 words (though, to be honest, I have a soft spot for Ditzy/Derpy), I think I have to prepare and gird myself for a longer story. I recently read through "Tiny Wings" and "Shine." :fluttercry: Oh my, these two definately required tissues.

760689 I can understand that. Though the hardest hitting I've read was "The Things We Leave Behind"

>> ChaoticHarmony plz make a sequal D:!!

1047217 Nope, no sequel.

Nope nope nope.

:fluttercry:this is (sniff) fantast:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:WAHHHH

1439724 If you think THIS is good... oh man.... This is one of the OLD ones.... when I wasn't that good.

Just wait till you hit the new ones.

im going through them all>>1439732and i just read the one about twilight
:twilightoops:

The first chapter was fairly sad. This epilogue crushed my heart and spat in the remains. :fluttercry:

Meh, this is probably coming out of left field, but ah well.

I like this story. I really do, but because of the length, I feel like it's missing something critical in the beginning that would make this flow a bit better. Although I do feel like this could be turned into a lovely, sad poem.

Another like, faved. I'll try to get more of your stuff now. :twilightsmile:


...Sorry I'm commenting on something this old. :twilightsheepish:

3112576 Heh, tis fine!

Yeah, most of my older stories suffer from a lack of length. :twilightsmile:

DUDE(ESS)
STOP KILLING MY HEART

This is so sad. :raritydespair: I feel so sorry for poor... is Ditzy her cannon name? I still feel so sorry for her in this. Nice job though, great story. :)

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