Luna's Lullaby

Luna learns the joys that can be found in life and all it's little things.

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Comments ( 7 )

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link4

link4 #1 · Oct 4th, 2016 · · ·

loved it. it was very sweet.

Luna three legged walked to the changing table

it's fine, but i was wondering if you would like to know a better wording? 'Luna walked three legged to the changing table' -- it's subtle, but it allows a much smoother flow. just read it to yourself and how it feels.

Sleep as your rocked by the stars

-you're- i think right?

Luna song faded

Luna's or however that punctuation works...

loved the story tho, and sorry for the edits, i edit for 2 others so i get in a habit. (can't wait for next chapter of 'the herd')

Gentlehoof

Gentlehoof #2 · Oct 4th, 2016 · 1 · ·

7615945 Thanks for pointing those out. I haven't looked at the story in a long time, and it's funny to see how my writing was back then.

link4

link4 #3 · Oct 4th, 2016 · · ·

7616063 lol harmony pie was saying the same thing couple days ago. if i write, i usually like rewording things to sound smoother. from reading 'herd life' you certainly have gotten better.

Blewfire