- Member Since 4th May, 2015
- offline last seen Feb 5th, 2017
EbonyDanger
That one fan of MLP, who makes her plot way darker and complexer then intended. And the person, who roleplays more then she writes fanfiction. *ON A WRITING HIATUS FOR NOW*
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I'll be watching this with interest.
There are some grammar mistakes, otherwise it is very interesting.
6362600
Okay. Can you tell me, which mistakes are there?
You might want to get an editor, I can possibly do it.
I like this so far.
6365447
Would be nice, if you find the time to do it.
6365442
This is creepy. Just like Princess Celestiar is. A rather cool theme song for our villain.
6367012
Here some ideas that you could use with this story. Evil Celestia from the comic give off a very vain vibe like how in the comic she is constantly changing her clothes like here:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/8/29/968176.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/8/29/968177.png
And as for the Elements of Harmony of that universe you could use this:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/8/27/709485.png
And don't be afraid to think up your own backstory for the good version of the bad guys like you could use the FIENDship is Magic comic series(I think it would be interesting to see the Sirens as good guys) to help you all you have to do is some twist things around. You could could even make Mirrorverse versions of some G1 villains like Tirek and Grogar like here.
If you need any help to think up some more ideas for this story I will be glad to help.
EDIT: I can see good!Chrysalis giving off a granny kind of vibe like here.:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/18/579123.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/4/28/611879.png
And for more Mirrorverse ideas try looking up the artist gray--day.
6371596
Thank you for all those great ideas. I can use some of them, but I have already set a certain direction for Switched. The Malicious Six will be the focus and not the Elements of Harmony. Also we will have some bad dreams and mystery to solve.
So far, so wonderful.
There are a few grammatical errors here and there, and that odd thing going on with the quotation marks, but nothing that really diminishes the story. The only thing I would question is near the end there. Why would Twilight & Co. believe Luna, exactly? She still didn't offer any definitive proof, only a loud-speaking voice that puts a great strain on Luna when she uses it, and some pieces of information from this supposed "alternate world" without any way to back these claims up. For all they know, it could be a ruse. According to the Ponyvillagers, the Luna of this world is supposed to be the "The Tyrant Sun's Puppet".
6379046 Only ponies that are worthy can use the Royal Canterlot Voice. And Lunar is about the furthest away from being worthy (with the exception of her sister of course).
6380134
Alright. I take it then these Malicious 6 know this as well? I might have missed that part.
6379046
That is true, but Lunar is not capable of using the Royal Canterlot Voice. Therefor Luna did it despite it hurting her. Also Twi and her friends have realized something odd about her behaivour.
And about the grammars and quotation marks: German Libre Office, thank you very much.
6380134
Good explanation and yup Lunar can not use it. Just like Celestiar. They never used it and therefor their vocal cords are too soft to produce such a thundering call.
Okay, interesting beginning. But be careful how you're using the quote tags, they look weird. Other than that, good job! But does this take place before, after or during the Reflections arc ?
6397577
My Libre Office is written in german grammar, therefor my quotation marks look weird. But after some chapters I started to correct them.
And the story probably takes place before Reflections, because the Mane Six are not in the world behind the mirror, only the Malicious Six.
I like where this is going.
6400023
Thank you.
2 songs for this chapter.
and
6472189
Wow. Those two songs really capture the essenz of Luna's discovery. Especially the second song. Mayor Mare could have easily used these words. The first song reminds me more of what Luna must think, when she sees all those ponies, dieing in the electricity strand.
img.pandawhale.com/78387-Dis-gon-b-gud-gif--This-is-gon-sWM8.gif
6492485
Thank you very much. I am glad, you enjoyed this chapter.
Perhaps the name of the murderer is Jack.
6506818
Jack? Do you mean Applejack?
6507701 It was a Jack the Ripper joke.
6510645
Ah. *facepalm* I am stupid. But yeah, that would make sense....if we were in victorian england.
6511288 But we're in Celestian Ponyville.
Random commas, weird quotations, Lunar? Celestiar? I.. ah... hm. You ah.. might need an editor/proof reader. Normally I'd be all over it and volunteer, but I'm already in the process of just... woo. Lot on my plate at the moment.
It took the story only four words to make me go "HAH!" and be a dick. Okay, you really need to go back and re-read your chapters, OUT LOUD, and I'm sure you can cut off at least 20% of the errors that are normally found dramatically, and spelling wise.
6530047
Okay, I have to reread the chapters. And on Lunar and Celestiar. The added R is intentional. It differs the mirrorworld ones from the canon show ones, so confusion is avoided.
So close, yet so far away.
6530050 She's German.
This song came to mind for some reason
6619464
Hmmm. Maybe it is Luna's view on Creator. Or even Creator's view? Or why did you think about this?
6623417 Possibly, that's probably it.
6637363
What is it? Luna's view or Creator's?
6638360 Most likely the creator.
Ze plot twist!!!
Cant wait for the next chapter
6801932
Thanks. I am glad that I executed Celest's reveal so nicely. It was the hell of a fun to write. Does it also explain what has happen in the previous chapters well?
Where has the next chapter gone?