• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Feb 5th, 2017

EbonyDanger


That one fan of MLP, who makes her plot way darker and complexer then intended. And the person, who roleplays more then she writes fanfiction. *ON A WRITING HIATUS FOR NOW*

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Sunset Shimmer. Price student of Celestia. Determinded and smart. The best of the best.
That was a long time ago. But now Sunset Shimmer lives in another world, where no one knows her. But that is not everything. After she stole the crown, Celestia sended Twilight Sparkle after her. For Sunset a sharp reminder of her past mistake. And a reason for revenge!
Inspiration song: (spoiler alert!) Shimmer on by Mandopony

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

This sounds a lot like MandoPony's song, "Shimmer on"? I forgot how It's called. But I liked this, uovote and favorite!

Price student of Celestia.

Prized is the word you ware looking for.

Determinded and smart.

Determined is the word you want.

Celestia sended Twilight Sparkle after her.

Sent is the word you ware looking for.

Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!

Especially the way this story goes. What was this, exactly?

6354616
I have to agree on that, I can't say it's word for word but it's pretty close.

It seems a bit 'ranty', more like she's talking to herself. Don't get me wrong, this is good; just delivered a bit weirdly.
Celestia did ruin her life. She took away the life she could've had without being her student. When she was her student, she was not taught the way she should've been. She never apologized to Sunset. She didn't tell her why, didn't tell her what she needed to do, what she needed to be. And if she couldn't have been that in the first place, then Celestia should've never promised her what she couldn't have.
Celestia, you really are to blame. And yet there was no indication of remorse from her.

6354616
Thanks. I used Shimmer on as an insperation for the monologue.

6355330
It is a monologue. Sunset Shimmer is talking to herself in her mind, reflecting the events.

6355416
A monologue works that way. The character reflects on something, using the I perspective.

6356288 Yeah it's just the wording is awkward to me. Maybe just me, I dunno. She just seems to be slipping a bit, not at all the level of cleverness demonstrated before.

6356349
Yeah, maybe. But I guess, it is because she is really angry. And then one cannot think straight.

6356413 But generally their thought process doesn't change. Anger doesn't rewrite their speech patterns, why would it override their thought patterns other than their purpose?

6356462
Then blame me for getting carried away. :)

This was a good monologue! but there were a few grammar mistakes here and there, and random commas every where they didn't need to be...
Besides all that it was great!

6490376
Thanks. I did not really re-read this thing. I made the Write what comes to mind concept, so it was kinda messed up.

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