• Published 30th Jul 2015
  • 2,743 Views, 27 Comments

Sonata and Me - Sonatie



After moving to Canterlot High, You meet Sonata Dusk, and she may be the best thing That has ever happened to you.

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Apologize

"There she is!" You said, pointing at Sunset Shimmer. "Let's go Sonata, Sonata?"

"I don't know Tom." Sonata replied, looking down.

"What's the matter Sonata?" You asked, Looking into Sonata's eyes.

"I, I- don't think they will forgive me."

"Why not? I forgave you." You gave Sonata a warm smile.

"Ha, You're right." Sonata chuckled.

You took Sonata's hand, and you both walked into the school, Walking towards Sunset Shimmer and the Rainboom's.

"Dazzlings- wait, No, One of the dazzlings!" Pinkie Shouted.

Sunset Shimmer and the rest of the mane six looked at Tom, who was walking towards them with Sonata.

"Hey Sunset!" You said.

"You, know this Guy?" Rainbow Dash asked Sunset.

"Yeah, His my friend! Applejack, remember when yesterday, when we were talking, he waved at me? This is him, Tom." Said Sunset.

"I do Remember that." Said Applejack, nodding her head.

"Sunset, Sonata has something to say." You said.

"Sunset, I want to apologize, apologize about what me, Aria, and Adagio did. I just want to be friends, and not fight or argue, I'm not sure if Adagio or Aria will apologize aswell, but I did, can you atleast forgive me?" Sonata asked.

"I think, I can forgive you." Sunset smiled, giving Sonata a hug.

"Sunset dear, are you sure about this?" Asked Rarity.

"Yes, Rarity." Replied Sunset. "You all forgave me, and Gave me a second chance, Why can't we do the same for her?"

"You do have a point." Said Fluttershy. "Atleast, I think so."

"I agree with Fluttershy two!" Shouted Pinkie.

"Me three." Said Applejack.

"Me, fourth" Said Rarity. "I suppose."

"Oh, what the heck," Said Rainbow Dash. "Me fifth."

All of them hugged and laughed.

"Thank you!" Said Sonata.

"See? I told you that there is nothing to worry about." You said, giving Sonata a hug.

Comments ( 8 )

6267717 Yeah, Thank you.

Texus #2 · Jul 31st, 2015 · · 2 ·

That again was way to short, it is like a small part of a really big chapter.
They could have actually done something next, i liked it that Rainbow wasn´t as usually against it, but even if i prefer 2000 words, you should never write less than 1000 words i believe, all the storys that did that, actually only had downvotes, but you seems to have much luck.

No matter what i say, what i see is good, i think you just end the storys to early, even if you need more time, maybe you should try only to update your story in one, or two weeks, this way you can get more ideas, and maybe create a more interessting Slice of Life chapter.

You probably only want to show more to fast, i think you can make something good.
I am no expert, but i try to tell you what i think i noticed so far, maybe you should just try to take your time, and see what that does to your chapter, maybe you are the type of writer, that needs to rewrite it a few times to get something even better.

Maybe i can´t say it is to short, because i am one of those, which read way to much, and i have some endurance to read very much, but this one isn´t as good as it could have been.

The story seems a bit too rushed, but I fave it.

6270699 Yeah, I did notice that, but Thank you.

"Yeah, His my friend! Applejack," - Do you mean He's

" but I did, can you atleast forgive me?" - there needs spacing between 'At' and 'Least'

haven't ready your story, but I see if as a recommended story on my own. anyways, I read form your comments that your chapters are too short and many of the problems are this is a new langue for you. May I recommenced you type it out in your first langue, then use, say, google translator, to turn it into English?

Finally got around to reading this.
I suppose there isn't much for me to say that hasn't already been said. There are plenty of spelling and grammar errors and the fic is a bit rushed. It's a nice idea and that nice idea is shown, for certain, it just needs a bit of fine tuning. Seeing as how you're getting used to English here, the errors are a bit permissible, and I do guess that it would be a bit harsh to expect a lot more detail over simplicity with that in account as well.
Overall, i'd say a 6.5/10 as it is.

Might I add, while I can't claim to be a genius when it comes to English, I am a native speaker. You ever need help or have questions, i'd be willing to assist. :twilightsmile:

I would like to have a new chapter please.

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