Not another One-Shot-Ober

by Admiral Biscuit

Would It Matter If I Was . . .

Would It Matter If I Was . . .
Admiral Biscuit

“. . . a peach?”

Twilight's eye twitched. “Fluttershy, you're not a peach. You're not a changeling. You're not a tree. You're a pony.”

“Oh.”

Author's Note:

I regret nothing

Comments

[Admiral Biscuit]

6492005

This is the main reason why if I ever became immortal I would tell nobody.

Agreed.

6492007
I won't admit that I have. Okay, yes I did.

6492011
Seriously, their room service rates were outrageous. That's where I got the idea for the story.

6492032

Poor Fluttershy covered in pandas

I don't know if she'd actually be upset by that. (at least, not until she discovered the source of the pandas)

These were quite good. . .

Thanks

6492047

After those fees sending them to moon was the nicest places she could have sent it,

Very true.

[Pink Rocket]

p gud

[Gear Works]

If you can't draw it as a comic, then this is the next best thing. Third story almost threw me for a loop before I caught on to the joke. Good way to pass the time.

[DATA_EXPUNGED]

I regret nothing

emojipedia-us.s3.amazonaws.com/cache/d1/ed/d1ed8e37532ecdd83fd8c69ff801df8a.png

[Rinnaul]

Highest meme density per word of any chapter on the site?

[Admiral Biscuit]

6492145

6492167

Third story almost threw me for a loop before I caught on to the joke.

I've actually thought about doing a proper lipogram, but that's a lot of work.

6492168
6492198

Highest meme density per word of any chapter on the site?

It just might be, actually.*

I'd thought about doing this story once the fifth or sixth variation of that story showed up, then I forgot, then I scrolled past yet another version of it right after I posted this and knew what I had to do.

__________________________________
*Unless you count Canonical Mute Vinyl Scratch Breaks Up With Fanon Muteavia.

[MSPiper]

I'd forsooth find any additional writings on any additional tribulations of litratur apprciation month most grand. Such amusing antics as Discord might bring about in pursuit of its most strict fulfilling shouldn't fail to charm.

6492217

but that's a lot of work.

It is, if you wish to prohibit a symbol such as . (In fact, I'm lucky "Admiral Biscuit" contains no , or I couldn't link that post.) Not-so-common symbols such as x or z allow you to lipogram with not so much work.

Also, it looks as though lipogrammatic writing naturally brings a bit of an archaic air to your words. That upshot is most intriguing.

[Admiral Biscuit]

6492400
The room price at the convention rate was actually really reasonable. Room service, not so much.

6493464

Wait, did no one notice when the hotel disappeared?

At the length these stories are, a few plot holes are to be expected.

[Admiral Biscuit]

6492712

Have I ever told you about my idea for Pinkie's attempt at live-action Pin the Tail on the Pony?

I think you did. It feels like you did.

Is it bad that I actually want to see this scene in its entirety just for the ?

Yes. You're a terrible person.

Tomorrow was schεulεd to bε onomatopoεia day.

You'rε... going to writε that, right?

If I can think of a clever way to do it. My initial thought is that would be something better suited to YouTube (or even a reading, hmm).

Okay, just how much, exactly, did you fork over for your room?

It was actually quite reasonable, because of the convention rate. At a non-convention rate, they're $250 per night or more (according to Google).

[Admiral Biscuit]

6492459
I did think of doing it with some letter that nobody would miss, but where would the fun be in that?
Actually, that was one of the other possible jokes. Mostly nopony notices, but some pony who has that particular letter in her name.

Also, it looks as though lipogrammatic writing naturally brings a bit of an archaic air to your words.

Especially when done right

I did sort of notice it in mine, with all the 'ed words becoming -d words, thought about putting that little apostrophe in there and it would have been like poetry. Terrible poetry.

[Admiral Biscuit]

6493066
No promises.

6493443
Thank you. Thank you for giving me the setup.

[Majin Syeekoh]

6493542 It was my pleasure.

[MSPiper]

6493538
Hah, that's also a fun possibility; I don't know which I think would turn out most amusing. (So add it too for comparison!)

I did think about contracting away parts of said d formation, but that isn't fitting of any lipogrammatic spirit. You ought to do this sort of thing fairly!

And unsurprisingly, it looks as though doing additional lippogramming is boosting my writing quality. This try almost looks normal! Mayhap I should switch up what to avoid in any following posts....

[Forderz]

Is this referencing that excellent fic where Fluttershy puts forth the hypothetical that she's a changeling?

I liked that one.

[Admiral Biscuit]

6493846
Well, I've never ordered room service before...

[Derpator]

This is insane. This is stupid. This has clearly passed a point of no return where it descends and descends and just gets worse and worse.

And I want more of it.

[Admiral Biscuit]

6493617
Dang, you make it look easy. Maybe I should write a story where I do it right.

6493782

Er, what?

In the Big Mac story, his dick was literally made of a stack of pandas, and each time he got off, so did a panda.

Is this referencing that excellent fic where Fluttershy puts forth the hypothetical that she's a changeling?

Yes, but more the dozen or so others that came after that one.

6494589

This has clearly passed a point of no return where it descends and descends and just gets worse and worse.
And I want more of it.

Thanks!

[King Kenya]

To ad lib on the classic line from Ghost Busters, Don't Cross the Meme's!

[Admiral Biscuit]

6495518
Too late.
(Besides, I already did that with Twilight Eats Sonata's Taco and Sonata Grabs Twilight's Peaches)

[Brumby_Run]

Twilight and Fluttershy...

Would it matter if I wasn't?
Would it matter if you were?
Would it matter if Celestia joined us?
Would it matter if Braeburn was watching us?
Would you try to stop your eyelid from twitching like that?

[tsaukpaetra]

Awe, Fluttershy is so sweet!

[MSPiper]

6494903
I approve. When should we plan on seeing your version?

While e may be more common, I so far find avoiding more annoying. E is mainly in words which can be replaced by synonyms, while is very common in pronouns and such: "i", "o", "bu", "ha", "no", and so on. (While "he" has an e as well as a , e is elsewise in far fewer, and as such is less of a pain in said regard.) Making your scrivenings work properly while avoiding use of requires much more reordering of your original plans.

And yes, I'm fudging some - responding requires doing so, considering your name includes a . Alas....

[Forderz]

6494903 oh, I understand that part. Still, my response is the same

[Admiral Biscuit]

6495873

Twilight and Fluttershy...
Would it matter if I wasn't?
Would it matter if you were?
Would it matter if Celestia joined us?
Would it matter if Braeburn was watching us?
Would you try to stop your eyelid from twitching like that?

Well, if I get desperate enough to keep beating a dead horse, you'll be seeing one (or more!) of these.

6495875
Peaches are sweet, too. Just sayin'.

6496953

I approve. When should we plan on seeing your version?

Well, I could make you a promise, but I'd wind up breaking it. Not for a while, if ever, unless I get super lazy and write something without the letter "x" and claim it's a lipogram even though we'd both know that it was nothing but pure coincidence that it turned out as such. Certainly, no earlier than the end of the upcoming play. (Actually, does it count as a lipogram if it doesn't have commas? Because that's something I probably should aspire to.)

6497865

oh, I understand that part. Still, my response is the same

Fair enough.
The truth is I asked Maijin if I could write it and he said yes, so I pretty much had to.

[PresentPerfect]

y tho

[Admiral Biscuit]

6507121
Because I like jumping on bandwagons? Or being the bandwagon?

[Lurks-no-More]

Next: the clopfic version where Twilight Sparkle eats the peach.

[Admiral Biscuit]

6664996
For better or worse, I think someone already did that.

[Raine_Lionheart]

Is the picture important? Because the link is dead.

[Admiral Biscuit]

11247359
It was a picture of a peach

For reasons you may or may not want to know, peach jokes are a running joke in some of my fics. Including one horse in Silver Glow’s Journal. . .

[CrystalWaters]

Ah yes, the "Would It Matter If-" period. That was a funny little time on fimfiction.

I'm just glad it resulted in so many gems, particularly What If I Told You There Was A Changeling In The Basement of Carousel Boutique which includes one of the best rejoinders by Twilight that still makes me spit out my metaphorical tea.