One day Sunset Shimmer writes a letter to Twilight using the book to tell her about things that happend to her recently.
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- Member Since 8th Jul, 2015
- offline last seen Feb 14th, 2019
Verzeih Turncoat
Looking for proof reader / Bad at writting in english.
Verzeih Turncoat
Joined 8th Jul, 2015 ·
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Now that a twist. The Film Flan brothers are Sunset's elder brothers.
Honestly they aren't evil just greedy, when they first appeared, they tried to do buiness with AppleJack's family thou they were asking too much, if they had worked things out both sides would made alot of bits.
The second time they appeared they were now coning ponies with a fake miracle tonic, and convinced Apple Jack to lie for them.
Now the episode when they first came everyone was at fault, in one of the fan fics I read on this site, it was addressed. Celestia came to the farm herself and chewed out the entire family for betting land SHE GAVE to the Apple Clan.
She also wanted to have a stern talk to the brothers as well, oh she also made Apple Jack rewrite her letter or friendship lesson.
Can their be a sequel to this one shot Sunset learning how her brothers had become greedy but how also the Apple Clan screwed up as well and got chewed out by thier mentor?
She could send a letter addressed to her brothers and chew them out in the letter to get them back on the straight and narrow again.
6183696
Right now I am busy with transferring my better attempts to write in english from my G+ to here.
That comes with some editing.
After that maybe.
But don´t forget Sunset was the one who saw some pictures of Twilight playing soccer and used them to frame her.
Not sure how much she is okay with tactics that her brothers are using is...
Yes and she did that when she was the Alpha Bitch who didn't care who she hurt at the time, to get what she wanted.
The sad thing about the Film Flan brothers is they are very very smart and know good buiness, but they use it to try and cheat ponies rather then run a honest buiness.
6185267
I can describe them with one word: Opportunist
Their intelligence and their attitude just work great as (EQG1) Sunset Shimmer´s siblings.
In EQG2 is Sunset no longer relying on this methods but lost a lot of confidence in herself.
Would be interesting to write an inner conflict of Sunset about her brothers...
Nothing wrong being a Opportunist I support it, but if it done in the right way, to me they choose the easy way thou not always the best way.
I like the idea of Sunset following that path, but in way it helps not just her but others like the band and those who are hiring them.
Like they dd with the Human versions of her brothers, maybe they come to see her as the sister they never had, on why her counter part was never born...miscarriage?
Be a tender sad moment they fess they almost had a little sister but their mother got ill or was in a accident and sadly lost the baby.
Not a bad story, but it needs editing. Lots of typos here.
6190968
... That is the only one of my fanfics (so far) that had gotten through editing by an American proofreader.
6183696
Do you happen to remember what fic that was?
Anyway---interesting story. I can see a lot of potential here with the can of worms you opened. Good job.