• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 minutes ago

Fluttercheer


Pony Author, Writer of Foal Stories, Storyteller, Equestrian Analyzer and occasional Pony Artist. You can support the stories I tell on Patreon to get nice rewards or tip me on Ko-fi (LINKS BELOW).

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Equestria. A land of Tolerance and Love.
Disputes between ponies are resolved quickly by them in order to maintain peace and friendship. And social taboos are something unheard of in this land.
Except for one thing.
When a dark secret about Scootaloo leaks out of Pinkie Pie's party cave, the young filly sees herself confronted with a reality so harsh, that she would have never thought of it as possible, not even in her darkest nightmares.
Scootaloo's life has changed. Forever.


Written for the Writer's Training Grounds of Equestria Daily for "Party Pooped".

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

........... god this is forced as shoving an elephant through a key hole.
this is just contrived as hell. especially rainbow dash's behavior.

JESUS CHRIST IS IT SUCH A CRIME IF SHE LIKES CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER

I am intensely curious as to what it is about Scootaloo that was discovered. Oh man, I need to know! Please update soon!

Seriously, though, what could make Rainbow act like that? Is she somehow Sombra reincarnate? Is she a changeling? Ooh, is she a murderer? It was probably by accident, or Scootaloo was defending herself (because I'm getting the sort of vibe that she is the victim here) but in peaceful Equestria I could really see them reacting like that. Or maybe she's a spy! Or maybe she's a follower of Discord and broke him out on purpose! Oh, the ponyamity!


I have way too much fun thinking about these things...

6167652 I like crunchy peanut butter. A lot.

And also I'm a morning person. DUN DUN DUNNNN

*dies from suspense*
I look forward to the next chapter!

6176812

You make some very good points here. At this point, the story could go into any of the directions you mentioned.
But what is it in the end? It's going to be revealed eventually, but it will be quite the journey until we're there.
I really like your comment. That's the kind of things I hoped for to see from people who read it. :pinkiesmile:

For the update, this is unfortunately going to take quite a while, perhaps even after the end of Season 5. I have explained why here:

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/508584/new-chapters-for-filed-away

I have to say, your comment is really tempting me to continue the story right now. But I have to rein myself in here, with the other things on my plate right now, I would probably rush the story to get it out if I continue it now, but I want that this story becomes really, really good, since it's one of my better ideas I have gotten so far.
But it's going to be continued in the next hiatus at the latest and I hope you're still here then. :pinkiesmile:

6177112

Thanks for your kind comment! :twilightsmile: The next chapter will come in due time. :pinkiesmile:

Good premise and grammar, I am thrilled for what is next! Stilted and formal dialogue for RD, but your emotions are superb.

6179026

Thanks for your comment and the fave!

Can you tell me what exactly strikes you as "stilted" in Rainbow Dash's dialogue?
Because when I read what she says, it sounds very much fitting. Different, of course, because we never saw Rainbow Dash acting in such a way and because she loses her nerves in this hard situation with all the pressure that is put on her, but definitely in-character.
Can you delve a bit deeper into what you see as "stilted"?

6179436 certainly! The sentence "I am the Element..." Struck me as too philosophical for Rainbow, and contractions are probably a good idea here. However, for the rest of the dialogue you might be right, we do not know how RD might react. If we just knew what had happened...

6179926

The sentence "I am the Element..." Struck me as too philosophical for Rainbow, and contractions are probably a good idea here.

Now I can see where you're coming from.
However, it was not meant philosophical from Rainbow Dash. She was simply stating a fact and emphasizing something:
She is the Element of Loyalty, she is known for being loyal, but now she doesn't know who she should be loyal towards to; should she be loyal to Ponyville and shutting Scootaloo out of her life or should she be loyal to Scootaloo and accepting that everypony will hate her too for sticking to her?
The sentence is also based on it that we have seen Rainbow Dash acting deep or saying philosophical things on rare occasions, (example: Flight to the Finish).

If we just knew what had happened...

It will be a while, but you're going to find out. :pinkiesmile:

So Scootaloo is now outcast and shunned for "reasons"? Yeah, this story is not gonna go anywhere anytime fast.

6189570

Yeah, this story is not gonna go anywhere anytime fast.

Exactly. It's getting gradually revealed as the story progresses.

6190660 It would have to be something stupidly massive for an entire town to turn against a child. This just follows a vain of stories that I honestly do not like. I put it up there with the likes of Conversion Bureau and many of the abuse fics. It is not so much much the characterization of the ponies in question being wrong but how the entire world in the story is portrayed.

It is basically something that is so out of place that I can't help but dislike it.

There is nothing wrong with anything as far as spelling, grammar, or presentation. I dislike the story simply because of the type of story it is.
___

To anyone who takes issue with my comment:

Before anyone here gets fucking upity trying to defend the story use your damn brains! The entire town has turned against a child that has lived in it for a long time now. If this doesn't sing of future abuse happening in the story I don't know what does. I hate abuse stories. They are cruel to the victim, cruel to character development, and grate against my own morals.

6190811

I don't know what your definition of "abuse" is, but if you should stick around until the end then you can see if the story is to your liking and if it is the kind of story you think it is.
However, if you should not like it, then you are better off with finding yourself another story to read.

Moral of the story: Don't tell your secrets to Ponyville, they're all secretly illumnati and will hate you for liking crunchy peanut butter.

“Not now”, the pegasus mare answered. “I want that you leave.

I think that maybe you meant to say "I want you to leave" instead.

10038135

I probably did not mean to say that, this story was started by me four and a half years before you wrote your comment and back then my writing skill was nowhere near where it is now.
A lot of errors will be fixed once I go and rewrite the prologue this year before bringing the story back and continuing it. Something that was already planned for last year and Corona-chan messed with this plan, but it is still going to happen.

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