• Member Since 27th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 19th, 2017

AppleJack_Wack


I am a former reader, writer, reviewer, and proofreader here on fimfiction. I have officially quit to pursue other endeavors, and encourage you to keep doing what you love. Ad Victoriam

T

[NOTE: This story has been cancelled. However a summary of planned events has been placed in the final chapter below, providing a makeshift, yet functional conclusion]
After a freak accident at Fluttershy's cottage, Rainbow Dash and Twilight become much more hostile towards each other than any friendly disagreement, and Applejack gets caught right in the middle of their feud. All the while, the Cutie Map has activated again, sending the mane six to a strange new town in the San Palomino Desert. This community ends up hiding something bigger than anypony could ever imagine. Will the Mane Six be able to save Equestria, or will they tear themselves apart from the inside?


This story is in first person, but from three different characters perspectives (Applejack, Rainbow, and Twilight's POV, switching off chapter to chapter).
Rated Teen for Mild Language, Violence, very minor gore, and an overdose of awesome.
Cover Art (By Character)
Applejack
Twilight
Rainbow Dash
Proofreaders/Editors
sevenofeleven - Chapter One to Present


Her Frontier is the story that motivated me to write stories myself, with a few concepts being taken from it. Further credits are on my profile.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 26 )

If you downvote, could you at least tell me why? I cant improve on anything with just that red thumbs down.

6105343
Can't know what you're doing right without knowing why there's a green thumbs up, either. :raritywink:

6123114 Ya, but at least then I can just keep going the way im going. Its like driving, "drive straight" is simple enough, but "turn", you need to know which direction. :applejackunsure:

Comment posted by Manaphy deleted Jul 13th, 2015

6132369 You were very helpful, thank you. Ill definately use some of these tips.

Also, i might just be oblivious, but what does "prose" mean?

6132446 You're welcome! Simply put, prose is how the sentences are formed without the use of a metrical structure like in poems. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Superluminous deleted Jul 13th, 2015
Comment posted by Superluminous deleted Jul 13th, 2015
Comment posted by AppleJack_Wack deleted Jul 18th, 2015
Comment posted by AppleJack_Wack deleted Jul 13th, 2015

I gotta be honest, the story is making me dislike Twilight quite a bit. Not saying Rainbow is right for being jealous... but Twilight isn't exactly coming off good here, either. Other than that, good story.

6188395
That is actually what I wanted. I felt like Rainbow Dash was so unlikable that it would be easy to side with Twilight. So I tried to even them both out, so it would be harder to take sides.

Thanks for the comment, small things like this help me see an outsiders perspective, and it helps a lot.

Yeah, I like this chapter. It's starting to bring in the overall idea of the story, but it doesn't move into action too quickly. It still talks about their personal issues and is starting to build into another, more important issue.

And I just want to say: I totally am siding with RD, especially after you give her so much sympathy. If you want it to be more even between the two- I would explore into saying TS's thoughts on the whole fight or whatever. But, I understand if you continue to make TS more reserved and professional too.

I also like PP in this. She doesn't even care :pinkiehappy:

AND is the title a PBG Minecraft HC reference? Lolololol:rainbowlaugh:

6200674
Someone got it! :scootangel:. Ya, the chapter 7 title is a PBG reference.

To all my readers:
I have deleted all the comments that pointed out grammer/punctuation mistakes, imagery advice, or other non-storyline comments, as those have now been fixed and the comments do not need to remain. Thank you to all who have helped me this far. If anybody has anything like that to say in the future, could you please PM me instead.:pinkiesad2:

However, any storyline comments, thoughts, or advice will be more than welcome, and in fact highly appreciated. :twilightsmile:

To any one who was interested, but maybe a bit deterred by the 8 dislikes I have. Perhaps a few of those were because something was wrong with my story (I don't know what because they didn't comment), but an amount of them was because I made an unpopular post in a particular group that you may have seen. I guess someone interpreted it as a troll post, because I assume I went about it the wrong way. I am a bit angry that some people would stoop so low just because they didn't agree with something I said, but I won't let it get me down.

I always try to look at the likes that are almost double the dislikes. At the current time of posting, this story has 15 likes. That is incredible. It wont be making the featured box anytime soon, and I don't care if it ever does. I am so happy to know that something I enjoyed creating was also enjoyed by 15 other people. No matter how small, every like warms my heart and motivates me to right the next chapter.

So thank you to everyone, who not only liked, but also took the time out of their day to read my story. Again, thank you everybody.:scootangel::pinkiehappy:

This is a good start. I like that you started with a dream sequence that showed the characters acting uncustomarily, not themselves at all, especially Twilight. It actually gave me chills when I read her cold, hard reaction. Good hook to get a reader interested in the story. Good job on that!

The only problem I could see was a very common one (most writers do this), it was a little wordy, you could tighten up the sentences a little bit, taking out unnecessary words to make it more readable. Otherwise I think it's really good.

6269728
Thanks for taking the time to comment.:yay:

I was told that it wasn't wordy enough! Ugh, I'll see if I can find a good middle ground.

6200792

Mine advice is to not delete comments, author, even if thou perceivest the problems to have been fixed. It simply maketh it look as thou thou canst not take criticism, regardless of whether or not 'tis the case.

6269756
I actually have been PM'd not to delete comments after I had already done it, but its a learning experience. I cant put them back if I wanted to. I didn't realize it was a sign that I dont take criticism, because I actually happily accept it.

6269739 as my English teacher says, there's a difference between descriptive and wordy. He always pushed for us to have descriptive essays but often made us write them with a limited amount of words. Some sentences can be condensed into two or three words.

6277224
That's a better term for Applebloom. Applejack is definitely a mare.

See how hard it is? :rainbowlaugh:

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