• Member Since 27th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 19th, 2017

AppleJack_Wack


I am a former reader, writer, reviewer, and proofreader here on fimfiction. I have officially quit to pursue other endeavors, and encourage you to keep doing what you love. Ad Victoriam

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[NOTE: This story has been cancelled. After consideration, A summary of planned will not be published.]
It's been two weeks since The Friendship Games have ended, and two weeks since Twilight turned into Midnight Sparkle. Twilight now faces the arduous task of making amends at her new school, Canterlot High. However it won't be so easy, as on her first day, Twilight and Sunset are called down to the principal's office, blamed for an offense they knew they were innocent of. Sunset begins to search for clues as to the true culprits, but meanwhile, Twilight is told by a familiar face that she isn't welcome anymore. Forced to take desperate action, Twilight gives in to a group of girls with a certain... magic about them. Will Sunset be able to unravel the mystery, or will Canterlot High be once again turned into a malicious magical madhouse?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 5 )

Ooooooooooh!

My guess is that Celestia's assignment for the two girls is to make sure that there is never a recurrence of the Friendship Games fiasco. That means getting a handle on magic and finding a way to keep it under control.

One of my headcanons is that Twilight will rebuild her locket and also build ones for the others. They'll just passively absorb a percentage of the energy they release whenever they 'pony up', giving them power on tap to use whenever needed, not just when they meet the narrow criteria where they release their energies naturally. The use of these as magical transformation tools to be Magical Girl superheroes naturally extends from that and Rainbow latched onto it much as a barnacle latches onto the hull of a boat.

That aside, this is a nice start. You did a good job at catching Twilight's mouse-like personality and the way that the other girls might interact with her. Especial congratulations are needed for not making Sunset a messiah-like figure of love but leaving her with her rough edges, her tendency to tease and that ever-so-dangerous edge to her. Sunset is a pretty good Redeemer but I would argue the character works best when deployed as a light-aligned anti-hero.

6523139

Intetesting ideas, but one of the last lines had "with obvious displeasure in her voice", so... Take that as you will.

And also thanks for the compliments. I deliberately tried to showcase Twilight's "mouse-like" personality, and Sunset's optimistic, but still flawed personality. It's great hearing that I did a good job.

Im liking this so far! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Awh this was getting good! Shame it's cancelled.

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