Minx vs. Quick Study - Winner: Quick Study (by Vote)
Minx vs. Quick Study - by Minx's Author
“Hey Minx!” Minx blew a puff of air into her purple and blue mane and looked up from mopping the floor to her boss. The boss of the nightclub was a tall and burly white-coated Pegasus with a fire red mane. On his flank were a couple of Martini glasses with olives.
“Yeah bosth?” Minx asked, putting the mop down and walked over to him, being mindful of her step as the floor was still drying.
“Seeming that all you do around here during the day is to constantly clean, I have a different job for you. I want you to deliver a crate of hard apple cider to our branch in Baltimare. They need a quick restock as their regular suppliers can’t do it until Wednesday.” He said to Minx, smiling at her. Minx saluted and went to the back to grab a crate.
“You want thith delivered to Baltimare? I can do that for you.” She called out. She flicked on a light and ruffled her wings a bit to keep herself warm in the chilly back room. Grabbing a metal trolley, Minx pushed it to the correct aisle and after taking a deep breath, heaved a crate of the requested cider off the bottom shelf and on to the trolley. Breathing out slowly, Minx slowly walked out of the room and out the door, waving to her boss as she went past him.
“I’ll be back when I can. No telling how long thith can take.” Minx said to him and went to the hot air balloon that was parked out back. She managed to lift the heavy wooden crate into the balloon by using her wings to lift herself and the crate up and over the lip of the basket.
Having set down the crate and steadied the balloon, Minx flew back out to the metal trolley and quickly sent it back to the storage room. Putting it back in its place, Minx smiled to herself and flew back out to the balloon. ‘I have to get this to Baltimare and be back to finish up cleaning.’ Minx reminded herself as she lifted off and piloted the delivery balloon to Baltimare.
Quick Study, a mare with a light amber coat and a creamy mane and tail with the both of them being braided in a dutch knot style, has just returned home from a long week of happily repairing books at Equestria’s Ministry of Archives. Her saddlebags were full to the brim with notes and note-taking materials.
Walking through the crowds, she looked up to gauge the sun’s position only to find it being blocked by a descending hot air balloon. Wondering why a hot air balloon was descending in Baltimare, Quick Study followed its descent until it disappeared behind a row of buildings. Seeing it disappeared from view, Quick immediately ran to where she thought the balloon ended up. Arriving at the location, she was very surprised at the sight of an angry mare between two downed ponies.
“Argh! I shouldn’t have thrown that crate of Cider at them! Now I have to go back and get more.” The mare sounded disappointed at the crate being broken into pieces, along with the cider bottles. Looking up from the fight, she glared at Quick and slowly walked up to her. “What did you see?” She asked through gritted teeth.
“N-nothing.” Quick immediately said, slightly scared of the black mare. She watched her blow into her purple and blue mane before seeing a nod. After a quick glance at her head, the mare smiled.
“Good. Now before she gets control of her body back, help move the unconscious colts.” She replied as she walked towards the two ponies she must have fought. “Oh yeah. Before the switch happens, my name is Devilinx.” She added as she looked back over her shoulder to Quick.
Gulping nervously, Quick followed and suddenly understood why Devilinx looked at her head. She must have been counting on her to levitate the ponies. Not wanting to incur Devilinx’s rage, Quick wordlessly lit her horn and slowly moved one pony at a time into the alley next to the nightclub. When she was finished, she looked up to see the hot air balloon from earlier.
In front of the nightclub, Devilinx shuddered as she looked at the remains of the crate and its contents.
“Uuhhh.” Minx groaned as she closed her eyes and held a hoof to her head. She shook it, trying to get rid of a confusing headache. “What- oh no.” Minx’s eyes turned to pinpricks as she looked at the remains of her delivery. “No no no no no no. I’m going to get so fired for this.” Minx panicked and went into the alleyway where she had parked her hot air balloon earlier.
When Quick had finished, she looked up to see the hot air balloon from earlier. She walked up to it and as she was about to climb inside, she heard running hoofsteps. Quick turned around and saw Devilinx running towards her.
“This isn’t what it looks like! I was only looking!” Quick protested as Devilinx slowed down to a stop and let out a gasp at the two bodies lying next to the balloon.
“Did you do that?” Minx asked, pointing to the bodies. She saw the mare shake her head quickly. “If not you, then who?” Minx asked and stepped closer to the bodies.
.Quick Study cocked her head to the side and looked at Devilinx curiously. “You did. You asked me to help you move the bodies into the alley.” Quick said slowly. She looked between the bodies and the mare before her. “You don’t remember that?”
Minx shook her head, finally figuring out why that confused feeling had appeared. “No I don’t. Sorry. It must have been one of my split personalities.” Minx mumbled, walking towards the bodies. She poked them to see if they were still breathing. “I don’t think she killed them though. My name’s Minx. What’s yours?” Minx said a bit louder than before, turning towards the amber mare.
Quick had a confused look while Minx was talking. She shook her head and told Minx her name. “My name is Quick Study. I - are you alright though?” Quick questioned when she realised Minx hadn’t stopped staring at the bodies.
Minx nodded and stepped back from the colts. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Devilinx didn’t kill them, did she?” Minx asked, too afraid to step any closer than a stick-length away. She flapped her wings and stepped over towards Quick. She opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by groans and grunts of pain. ‘Please don’t tell me …” Minx thought as she turned around.
“Uh, Minx? Maybe we should go before they wake and mistake you for Devilinx.” Quick said hurriedly and backed away from the balloon.
“Right.” Minx agreed and ran after Quick Study to the sounds of stallions shouting angrily at her.
After having run a long while, both mares finally slowed. Minx looked behind to see if their pursuers had given up. Seeing that they have, she sped up a bit to speak to Quick.
“They’ve given up. I think we can slow down now!” Minx told her. Quick nodded and began to slow down. Minx looked up as shouts could be heard from above. Frustrated that they couldn’t leave well enough alone, Minx flapped her wings and took off into the air, leaving Quick Study to slow down and watch from the ground. Reaching the balloon, Minx flapped in place so that she could see eye to eye with them.
“Why do you keep chasing us!?” Devilinx questioned angrily, glaring at them.
The two colts looked at each other and snickered. “Simple. You bashed us over the head with cider. Now we want to do the same to you.” The one on the left, a dark blue colt with a purple and green mane said.
“Oh really?” Devilinx rhetorically. “Now why would that be.” She added, flapping higher till she was level with the balloon itself. Grinning, she bit into the balloon and tore a piece away, making it fly away as air shot out of it. Devilinx and Quick heard the stallions’ screams until they disappeared behind a row of houses.
“Thometimes I really hate doing deliveriesth.” Devilinx muttered. She glided down until she was next to Quick, giving her a wide smile. Quick shook her head, still looking at where the hot air balloon was last seen. Looking at Devilinx, she smiled back weakly and backed away slowly; clearly scared of her.
“When you were up there, near the balloon, you switched personalities so quickly. I thought that the ‘host’ personality had to react to something for a switch to take effect.” Quick said curiously once she had backed up to be just within ear shot range. Her eyes widened though when she saw Devilinx shudder slightly before giving a confused look.
“Why are you backing away? Did I do thomething to offend you?” Minx asked as she took a step forward. When Quick took a step back, Minx stopped and sighed. “It’th my thplit personality ithn’t it? It happened when my father died. I developed two other perthonalilties and got a cutie mark to show for it.” Minx said sadly and turned to the side to show Quick her cutie mark. “Your cutie mark ith of a book with multiple bookmarksth. That would mean you’re a what? A scholar? A bookkeeper?” Minx asked.
“It means I am efficient at helping take care of books for Equestria’s Ministry of Archives.” Quick said quickly, taking a cautionary step forward. “What do you do for a job?”
“I work at a nightclub in Cloudsdale. Is there someplace else we can talk? It’s getting kind of chilly out here.” Minx suggested, glad that Quick wasn’t scared by her.
“Yes, but I’m not sure if inviting you to my house will be good for me.” Quick said skeptically. Minx sighed and nodded, understanding why.
“I understand why. It’s fine. I’ll just fly back to Cloudsdale and warm up there. It was nice meeting you though.” Minx said, smiled and waved before taking off, flying towards Cloudsdale. ‘How am I going to explain to my boss that I lost the balloon AND the delivery? He will not like this. Not at all.’ Minx thought worryingly.
Watching Minx fly off, Quick sighed and turned around, walking down the streets towards her house. ‘She seems like a nice mare but she’s way too unstable.’
Quick Study vs. Minx - by Quick Study's Author
This is the story of a Pegasus mare named ‘Minx’. She works at the ‘Screaming Eagle’ nightclub, one of the premier establishments in Cloudsdale. She sees many ponies stop by for dancing or drinking. Some even share stories or secrets, for as we all know, what the bartender hears is confidential isn’t it?
-----
So I’m standing at the bar, just finished an order for a party of ten, when in trots in this nerdy looking unicorn carrying these very overstuffed saddlebags. Which is strange enough as Cloudsdale doesn’t have many unicorns walking around, the whole falling through the floor and to your death being the major reason why. So she must have been here for one of two reasons, business or pleasure. And seeing as how the mare had a small frown etched on her face as she sat at the bar, I had to wager it was the former. Ponies only had that expression when they were deep in thought about their lives, and only trouble in the workplace could cause that particular reaction.
I walked over and took her order, a strawberry maretini, and quickly made it. She downed that drink faster than I had made it with the constitution most sailors would be jealous of. I politely waited a moment to see what she would do next, and to my thanks, she decided to speak first.
“I hate ponies.” she voiced dully whilst staring straight at her drink.
“Well, that’s a bit much.” I responded “Why the long face?” I had a tingling in the back in my mind that I had somehow made a horrible joke, however I couldn’t quite figure out why and seeing as the mare showed no reaction, I decided it must have been my own imagination.
The mare shook her head, clearing it from whatever troubled her, before she turned to me and with a small smile introduced herself. “Sorry, I’m Quick Study. And I guess I’m just a bit ornery after work today.”
“Must be pretty bad if you want to write off the whole pony race like that.” I quipped. “Name’s Minx. So, what’s got you so riled up?”
Quick apparently was a skittish one, she looked over both her shoulders to see if there were any eavesdroppers before she leaned in towards me, as if she was about to deliver some world shattering news. “You see, the thing is,” she whispered, “ponies just have zero respect for books anymore.”
“Really?” I responded automatically. I found that what many ponies wanted to complain or talk about usually wasn’t as big a deal as they made it out to be. However after years of doing this, I found it was easier for them to just talk about it out loud and have them get it out of their system was better in the long run. So really it was just a case of nodding and responding at the right moments to carry the conversation. However, this was by far one of the more unusual things I had heard a mare complain about. Usually it was just relationship or job troubles, but ponies not reading enough is apparently a big deal to her. I decided this time maybe it’d be interesting to actually pay attention for once.
“Yeah!” she continued excitedly, “I mean, I understand that not everypony likes sitting down and reading as much as I do, but when it comes down to not even knowing some basic facts about Equestrian history, or even the simple inner workings of our government, I start to wonder just what they teaching foals in school these days.”
“Oh, I can understand that.” I replied, “You wouldn’t believe the number of patrons who come in here not understanding that just because you think you can down a whole keg of hard cider, it doesn't mean you should… or that I should be responsible for making them clean it up.”
Quick chuckled a bit at my joke, but I was quite serious. After I saw Thunder Folds lose his lunch all over my bar and he told a joke that ‘the bar-wench will clean this up’, I sorta blacked out and the next thing I know is I’m watching him mop up the mess with a rag and he’s sporting some new bruises to match his already haggard appearance. Must have changed his mind or something, I never found out and he refused to elaborate.
“The worst part of it all,” continued Quick Study, “was when I arrived at the Cloudsdale archives today.” That raised an eyebrow with me. The Cloudsdale archives, for all intents and purposes, was a veritable dumping ground for all manner of bureaucratic nightmares in this town. I had to venture down there a couple times to renew the liquor licence for the club, and those memories of what I experienced there will stay nice and repressed thank you very much.
“You work for the archives?” I asked guessing by how the conversation had been going.
She nodded happily before pointing to a pin adorning the saddle bags she had brought in with her. “Scribe and Keeper of Books for the Equestria’s Ministry of Archives, that’s me.” She proclaimed in a chipper tone. “Though honestly it isn’t as glamorous as it sounds.”
“Kinda sounds like a captain of a secret society or something.” I added.
“Oh nothing like that.” she tittered, “Really, all my responsibilities involve going through the records and keeping them up to date. Things like, repairing the books, organizing the books, reshelving the books, ordering the new books, dealing with books possessed by the spirits of the Tinagrack the ever-knowing, and keeping all the records organized.”
“What was that—?”
“So really, the whole thing is really just simple normal stuff.” Quick Study affirmed.
“So... if it's really that simple, why are you so angry right now?” I inquired.
“It’s because of just how badly the books here in Cloudsdale were!” she exclaimed “Usually Soaring Sun handles the pegasus cities, but he was out with the trots for the past week and is still recovering.”
“A whole week?” I questioned very surprised at her claim.
“Yeah, word of advice. Don’t ever order the MuchoQuesanriadiado with suprise sauce next time you’re in Mexicolt.”
“Point taken.” I acknowledge as my intestines seemed to quiver at the mean mention of whatever that was.
“Anyway, usually when I arrived to start my archiving job, there is normally one maybe two bins of books that need to be repaired.” Quick Study elaborated. “But when I came to the archives in Cloudsdale, there were forty bins full of damaged items! That’s as many as four tens!”
“Wow, sounds terrible.” I commented.
“So I do a little digging and it turns out that this isn’t a backlog, this is how many damaged items were returned in the last month alone!” proclaimed Quick Study. “It just makes me so… ugh, to see ponies mistreat books like this. But thankfully I have a plan.”
“You do?” I asked curious as to what this mare had come up with to fix a rather serious problem in hindsight.
“Oh yes. For every damaged item that a Pegasus returns to the Cloudsdale archives, a primary feather will be forcefully removed as restitution.” she happily stated. I however, had my jaw unhinged in shock and it hit the floor with such intensity it went through it. Of course, that’s what you get when you make it out of cheap stratocumulmus.
“Isn’t that a bit… harsh, maybe?” I questioned. “Breaking a few books is one thing, but nearly clipping some pony's wings? That’s going a bit too far.”
“You can never go too far to preserve the sanctity of knowledge!” shouted Quick Study as she leapt to standing on her stool. “And it’s not just Pegasi, Earth Ponies would be forced to carry around heavy weights, and unicorns would have limiter ring put on their horn.” Slowly Quick Study started looking more and more manic as time passed. “And if it was minotaur, their horns would be filed down, a diamond dog, their claws clipped, and if it was a seapony, they… Well, actually they use tablets, paper and water don’t really mix that well.”
It was at this point I felt like I was staring at the Nightmare Moon of the Librarum and that unless this mare’s mind was changed, she’s lead ponykind into a totalitarian rule under her book stamp of doom. However, it was her final words that helped me formulate an idea.
“Wait!” I interjected. “Maybe it's a bit hasty, but I think know why so many items are damaged.”
“What, really?!” she exclaimed, “Was it secretly old man Jenkins who was wearing a wolf costume to scare all the ponies away so he could destroy the archives and put up a new canning factory?”
“Yes it was— wait what? NO! Where the heck did you come up with that?”
-----
Unbeknownst to both of our characters, old man Jenkins had been listening in on the conversation. At the discovery of his sinister plot, he ran for the window and tearing it open shouted “You’ll never take me alive!” and dove out the window. Which was thankfully made entirely out of cloud so there was no shattering of glass that would have lead to a case of scattered showers of sharp death raining down on the village below. Jenkins himself was later arrested that night on an unrelated charge involving a pineapple and a yoyo and their highly inappropriate use in public.
-----
Both Quick Study and I were quite shocked by the sudden outburst of the elderly Pegasus, but I decided it was best not to ask question about what just happened. I could only take so much crazy in one night at this club and it was only 1 AM.
“But back to what I was saying,” I continued, “The reason why you’re having so many damaged items is obvious.”
“Pegasi are lazy and uneducated?”
“That’s racist.”
“It’s all the stallions fault at not doing their jobs?”
“That’s sexist.”
“The Philosopher's stone did it?”
“That’s Alchemist.”
“So it’s nopony’s fault and I should just give up?!”
“That’s defeatist.”
“Okay then, what is it!” demanded an impatient Quick Study who was becoming quite annoyed at the length of this gag.
“What kind of damage do these books suffer from most?” I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.
“Water damage mostly.” Quick Study responded.
“And what are the buildings in Cloudsdale made most of?”
“Duh, clouds.”
“And clouds are made of, what, exactly?”
“Water of course! Jeeze this is what… I’m… ohhhhhhhhh, right.” Quick Study droned before slowly realising what I was getting at. “I can’t believed I overlooked something so obvious!”
“Yeah, so unless you have a plan for changing the very nature of clouds, I don’t think your plan is going to work. If anything, nopony will check out any books if that’s the punishment.” I explained to her. Quick Study then leaned on the counter and seemed to stare off into space. She must have been thinking really deeply, because I swore I saw a fly zoom in one nostril of hers and out the other.
“Wait a moment!” Quick Study exclaimed for the nth time that evening causing many patrons to tell her to knock it off. “If I can’t change the archives, I’ll just change the books so they can’t be damaged anymore!”
“Sounds like a lot of work,” I added, “That place is just filled with stuff, it’d take a pony ages to copy everything to new material.”
“Not if I use transmutation!” she cheered as she bounded out the door. I could hear her hooting and hollering as she rounded the corner and headed for her place of employment eager to help change the world for the better.
I was happy for her that things were turning around. As for me however, I realised she forgot to pay. So, I sighed in contemplation, at least it couldn’t have gotten worse.
-----
Three days later the entire City of Cloudsdale was awoken to the sounds of 25,000 tomes and scrolls falling through the archives cloud floor and raining educational doom on the unsuspecting citizens below. It was unfortunate that while nylon is completely waterproof, it is also completely magic proof and all existing wards on the books keeping them held on the cloud shelves were erased the moment the chemical composition changed.
On a positive note however, the city of Cloudsdale was hovering over a Diamond Dog enclave at that moment and the sudden deluge of texts led to a dramatic increase in literacy for the entire community. Sadly, it also sent the diamond dog local toilet paper industry completely bankrupt as the ‘92 Omnibus Guide to Griffin Tax Law’ was enough paper to last everydog a lifetime.
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Quick Study's Author
In both cases, both author ended up focusing too much on their own OC to the detriment of the other. It felt like the story of one character with the other used as a sounding board/reader surrogate. In Quick Study's Author's story,Minx could be replaced with any generic bartender and the scene would play out the same, and in Minx's Author's story, Quick Study could be any 'normal pony' bystander.
What wins this for Quick Study's Author is smoother writing and better grammar. But whoever wins, my advice would be to try harder to integrate the other OC into your story.
QUICK STUDY AUTHOR VOTE
I didn't really enjoy either of these. They're both passable, but nothing really stands out for me. As it is, I went with the technically better story.
OR A MAN LIKE OBS, WHO RUBS ELBOWS WITH THE WORST ELEMENTS OF THIS WEBSITE, AND WHO IS UNDOUBTEDLY A DESPERATE CRIMINAL HIMSELF?
Quick Study's author
The first one feels like it's constantly shoving the idea of her split personality in my face and completely ignoring the other OC, whereas the second one seems as if it's trying and failing to be funny. Both stories don't really work with the opponent's character very well, so I'm going to have to go with Quick Study's author's story because it's better writing and easier to follow.
Minx's Author
Toss up between the two, really. Quick Study's Author didn't get the lisp for Minx right, and for a pony who is supposed to be smart, the fact that Quick didn't realize that clouds would cause water damage seemed out of character.
As for Minx, her writing wasn't that smooth, and the focus on the split personalities seemed rushed, but because it kept in character with both OC's, it gets my vote.
Quick Study's Author
I don't want to vote for either of these. Neither character has a defined personality besides one big quirk, and both stories largely ignore the opponent's character. But of the two, I think the second one had the better story. I don't expect Quick Study to win again, sorry. Unless, of course, the author learns an important lesson from this round.
vote: Quick Study's author
I didn't really enjoy either story, truthfully, since it seemed both authors focused more on their own OCs than giving equal care to them both. And both of these stories, mechanically, drove me up the wall. My biggest issue with Minx's author's story was its overall clunkiness. Introducing the characters by so forwardly describing them is a big turn off, and it seemed to rely more on tell than it did show. Both authors seemed to fail to punctuate their dialogue correctly, more so Quick Study's than Minx's. Quick Study's author also forgot Minx's lisp, which tells me not much attention was paid to the character sheets.
Despite this, Quick Study's author's characters were less exaggerated than Minx's author's. I felt like they got to know each other and their interactions were generally more pleasant to read.
Quick Study's Author
Quick Study's author
Everyone else has already pointed out how much both authors ignored the other character in favour of their own. In Quick Study's case, I actually have no problem with this. Split personality? Really? The reason alicorn OCs were banned was that their inclusion would force authors to spend time focusing on the fact that one of the characters in a pair-up is an alicorn. Massively attention-grabbing character gimmicks like the split personality thing present the exact same problem. Frankly, I would've also gone out of my way to downplay this character and not indulge this idiocy. Devilinx. Seriously.
That said, Quick Study's story was still not all that funny for a comedy, relying too much on referential humour and cutaway gags for my liking, but it was still at least easier to follow what was going on, and I felt like both characters were really there and really connected, as opposed to the first story where Quick Study was just reacting to bizarre things.
I admit, I was biased going into this one, but I make no apologies for that. My vote stands.
6017705
I didn't really enjoy either of these.
6018222
I don't want to vote for either of these.
6018243
I didn't really enjoy either story, truthfully,
Quick Study's Author vote
As everyone else has already said, neither of these were very good. However, Minx is just not a good OC, and I can't imagine any author being able to work her well. Therefore, the vote goes to Quick Study, who I actually really like as an OC.
But please, Quick Study's author: no more memes. Please, for everyone's sake. No more memes.
One is a character piece about a character that is severely flawed, and not in a good way. The other is a mish-mash of references, some nested within others, and has barely an ounce of originality. Neither bothers to respect its opponent with the courtesy of attention.
I'm abstaining.
6019565
Weird, I only counted two references in the whole thing. The first one being the opening which apparently is a parody of that Nostalgia Critic thing, and the second being that Lex Luthor steals cakes jokes. What were the others?
Quick Study's Author
Only because it gave me a chuckle or two. Honestly both of these fics need some improvement of showing off both OCs and not just one of em. Hope the winner follows the other commenters advice and tries to improve next round. :)
Abstain.
Quick Study's author
I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. Neither of these stories are very good. But someone has to win.
Quick Study's Author vote
But it's... mostly so I don't have to vote for Devilinx continuing on. Dark colors, three faced mask cutie mark (their talent is multiple personalities? Really?) and, yeah, multiple personalities that swap in a moment's notice. Very edgy, very generic.
Neither story is all that good, so I'm basing my vote on which OC is best and that'd have to go to Quick Study, hands down.
Quick Study's Author
Minx
Pros: The story focuses on action instead of solely on dialogue.
Cons: Many of the sentences were awkwardly phrased, and the author broke several technical rules. I had a hard time understanding which personality was actually in control.
Quick Study
Pros: This story had nice pacing for the most part.
Cons: The humor fell flat for me, and since this is a comedic story, that's a large issue. Work on your timing if you do another comedy.
Quick Study gets my vote for being more readable, but in the next round, the winning author should try to characterize each OC more. Your opponent has given you a gift to help you write your story, so be sure to use it.
6019944
I'm sure I'm forgetting some and didn't catch others, and I'd rather not read through it all again, but here are some choice ones that stuck in my mind.
Scooby Doo. And within it…
Prequel.
Fullmetal Alchemist. And I'm 80% sure the structure of the whole joke is lifted from something I'm not remembering—possibly Family Guy.
6020992
Huh, more than I relaized. Though the last one is kinda debatable, as Fullmetal alchemist didn't invent alchemy or the philosopher stone. That's actual lore of alchemist of the medieval era, the origin of chemistry.
Still yeah, while a reference or two are not inherently bad, the author here should really tone them down.
6021303
I recognize that, but if it were just supposed to be a reference to lore, I can't so much see capitalizing "alchemist".
Quick Study's Author
Only because the ending gave me a chuckle.
QUICK STUDY’S AUTHOR
Minx vs. Quick Study
Liked: You used Quick Study well, and gave her a good reason to be involved in the events of the story.
Disliked: Slow down! This is a writing contest, not a race!
Quick Study vs. Minx
Liked: “I hate ponies” is a good way to start off a conversation. :)
Disliked: The joke about Mexican food really falls flat. So does the one about “old man Jenkins”.
6020902
This, so hard.
Quick Study's Author
Minx's Author
Technical issues throughout made it difficult to get into the story, and the pacing felt too rushed. Also--split personalities? Really?
Quick Study's Author
"Why the long face?" Oh, I groaned at that, then admitted I'd do the same thing in a story. The opening paragraph of the story was, quite frankly, bad. It's better to put those details in the story, IMHO. The story felt a bit rushed in places, and maybe just a bit too random.
Amused by the "Nightmare Moon of the Librarum" line, and there was a good bit of worldbuilding in the story. I did like the short wrap-up at the end.
Quick Study's Author
Let me start off by saying that Minx's story on the character sheet is completely bonkers. It's so dark and over-the-top with the multiple personalities that it actually is kind of hilarious. Also, Anglelix and Devillix? *facepalm*
On that note, I have to say that Quick Study's story felt more like a story. Minx's story felt like it was incomplete, like there was more to the story that the author couldn't add because of word limits. There were also a lot of "she did this, than that, than that" moments in Minx's story, where the actions and thoughts the characters do are just blandly described.
Both stories do suffer from one problem: They both write their own characters well, but don't really take the time to do the other OC as well. But Quick Study's story at least focused on other aspects of Minx other than just the lisp and split personalities; Minx's story barely gave Quick Study a personality.
The main reason I enjoy Quick Study's story is how it gets crazier as it goes on. It started off fairly normally, then sort of descended into a comedy sketch. Some parts of that don't work (like Old Man Jenson), but I found it largely entertaining and more memorable than Minx's story.
Quick Study's Author Vote
I didn't particularly enjoy either story, but I feel that Quick Study's story used Minx a little better than Minx's story used Quick Study.
Quick Study's Author
Nothing new to add here.
Welp, this late in the game, the results seem pretty clear. Even were that not the case, I would've abstained. Neither story really did anything for me, and the weighing of the scales in this particular instance is too close to call.
Quick Study's Author
Minx. Oh god, Minx, whyyyyy. That is all that needs to be said. Wait...
Yep.
Whyyyyyyy.
Abstain
Neither of these were particularly good, honestly.