Ace Artisan vs. Staccato Spark - by Ace Artisan's Author
The cool light from the gem lamps bathed the streets of Canterlot in a soft, purple glow. The shops had posted their "Closed" signs, replete with pictures of smiling ponies and promises of returning in the morning. A stiff breeze rolled through the nigh deserted streets, and many of the wooden buildings whined about their age. The moon was a waning crescent, shining its light down on the few ponies whose hooves still clacked against the worn cobblestones. The city slept.
It was the kind of night that Ace Artisan would normally have enjoyed, but the day had been unkind. He wound through the main roads, eyes cast downward and brows furrowed. His quick, deep breaths sounded like growls, and his heavy steps pounded against the street while thoughts of his work at the architecture firm still lingered in his head.
'Should I push harder on widening the hallways, at least?' he thought. 'True, it would be more expensive, but it's a damn hospital! When a pony's life is on the line, what does it matter? Ugh, writing that proposal would take all night. Boss would probably just shoot it down, anyway.'
Ace paused his trudge and sat in front of a large, ornate building. 'And I probably look like Tartarus, too.' He rubbed his bloodshot eyes with a purplish-gray fetlock, then shook out his midnight blue mane. Looking down at his disheveled shirt and jacket, he straightened out the collar and refastened one of the buttons that had come undone.
With a deep breath, he cleared his throat and looked up to see his destination, the Autumn Melody Memorial Conservatory. 'Built eighty years ago. Canterlot Construction, Inc. Head architect Perfect Scale. First building in Canterlot to incorporate both beveled glass and curved steel for solely aesthetic purposes.' With a sigh, he stood up, a weak smile on his face. 'And concert hall for the prettiest mare in Equestria.'
Ace rushed up two flights of stone stairs, stopping just in front of the green glass doors that bubbled out toward him, as if the building was struggling to contain all the music within. He reached for the handle, but he stopped when he saw a murky shape inside quickly growing larger.
Very quickly.
"Gah!" Ace shouted as a pegasus burst out of the door, knocking him onto his flanks. "Hey! Watch it!"
The streak of grayish blue and yellow halted in midair and whipped around at him. "Y-you watch it!" Her voice shook. "Some of us have places to be!"
Ace hopped to his hooves, his fur bristling. "Yeah, and we'd like to get there in one piece! You don't need to…" He stood up straight when he noticed the pegasus repeatedly blinking and rubbing at her eyes. "Uh… Are you alright, ma'am?"
"I'm fine," she grumbled, turning away.
"Really? Because you look like you've been crying."
The pegasus threw her forehooves up in the air and turned away. "This stupid committee won't let me perform! My show's one-of-a-kind, but it's like they don't even care! And it's so hard for soloists to find performance halls! But whatever! I don't want to be in such a stuck up place full of namby-pamby classical frou-frou performers that don't know what real music is, anyway!"
Ace narrowed his gaze at the pegasus, and his voice became flat. "Some ponies prefer singing the namby-pamby stuff. Like… my marefriend, for instance."
The pegasus' limbs went rigid, and she looked over her shoulder with wide eyes. "Oh! Uh…" She floated down to the ground and averted her gaze. "S-sorry. I didn't mean, like, your marefriend. I'm sure she's great."
Ace sat down and stared at the building. He felt a pull towards it – he'd promised to pick up Nocturne from her rehearsal in a few minutes, but truthfully, he didn't want to deal with the rest of the singers, either. It didn't help that they were almost all unicorns. Ace patted the flask in his jacket and thought to himself, 'It's, what, Tuesday? Take a drink whenever somepony asks if I work here.'
Ace turned back to his new acquaintance. "It's alright." He extended a hoof. "I'm Ace Artisan, by the way. What's your name?"
The pegasus perked up. "Staccato Spark, Stunt Violinist Extraordinaire!" She extended a wing and used it to shake Ace's hoof.
Ace hid a sneer, wondering to himself why a regular hoofshake wasn't good enough.
He let that thought roll out of his mind and tried to empathize with his new acquaintance. Nocturne had come home worrying about auditions plenty of times, and it was never easy on her to get a rejection after what she'd considered an excellent performance. It wasn't much different from losing an architectural bid, he figured. "Sorry the audition didn't go well. Did you feel good about it, at least?"
Staccato rolled her eyes and went right back to ranting. "That's the thing!" Staccato leapt into the air and flew in a small, tight loop. "I nailed all my stunts, and I even pulled off the double-barrel dive bomb, which I know they haven't seen before. I was great!" She hovered in place, but after a moment, her features drooped. "At least, I thought I was."
Ace's head involuntarily shook, and he tried to blink away his confusion. "What? Stunts?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I play violin while I fly. Pretty neat, huh?" Her chest puffed out.
Ace cocked his head to the side, still trying to wrap his head around how flying would even work while playing a stringed instrument. "No, I meant, how do you feel about your music? Did you play it well?"
"Totally." She dropped back to the ground and took a few steps forward. "I even debuted a new song. I mean, yeah, I kinda threw it together when my sister got me the audition out of nowhere, but it rocked! It was a violin rendition of Meghan Trotter's new single, 'Dear Future Stallion.' You know it?"
Ace nodded. "I do, but…" He ran his tongue over his teeth, trying to find the right words. "That doesn't really seem appropriate." He shrugged his shoulders. "They play more classical stuff here, like you said."
Ace looked out over the city. When he squinted, he could see his office. Memories of his day came flooding back: his coworkers dismissing his new designs, the managers recommending the same treatment as the previous hospital despite the known issues, and the looks everypony gave him when he pushed for something new. "They were probably insulted that you didn't want to do things their way."
"How would you know?" Staccato spat. "You a janitor here or somethin'?"
Ace quietly reached into his jacket, drew out his flask, and took a drink.
Returning the flask to his pocket, he looked back at Staccato. "No, but ponies get bent out of shape when you don't conform to their expectations."
For a moment, the only sound was the breeze blowing through Staccato's wings, which hung at her sides. Her voice cooled. "Feh. You don't know the half of it."
"Actually, I do. I'm not a janitor. I'm an architect."
Staccato raised an eyebrow. "Sounds boring."
Ace flashed her a glare. "It's not. You have to deal with a lot of the same stuff. There's a way that ponies are used to doing things, and if you want to try something new, you get shut down. You have to learn to deal with it."
Staccato was quiet for a moment before her cheeks flushed red. "Well, it's not my fault if they've got bad taste in music!"
Ace snorted and set his shoulders. "No, but it is your decision to show up with a song they'd never showcase."
"So what?" Staccato shot daggers with her eyes. "So I should just give in a-and do whatever everypony else wants me to do?" She hopped into the air and hovered above Ace, looking down at him. "You really think that's better than trying to be the best?"
Ace's breathing picked up, and his heart felt knotted. He tried to tell her to that there would be other auditions and that she should just move on, but whenever he opened his mouth, he remembered how wrong it felt to give up his designs for the hospital, and the words caught in his throat. It didn't help that she was literally looking down at him, and it took all of Ace's willpower not to shout her down and put her in her place.
Staccato didn't wait for him to respond. "You don't get it. You're just like those snooty unicorns. You're just a stupid earth pony architect that doesn't know the first thing about music or flying or anything!"
Ace felt something in his brain snap. His blood boiled. He stomped, lowered his head, and cast an icy glare at Staccato. "Yeah? Well, at least I'm not so delusional that I expect everything on a silver platter!"
His voice bounced around the staircase, eventually fading to a deafening quiet.
Staccato stared at him, eyes wide, as she slowly sunk down to the ground. Her lip quivered, and she hid behind her wings. The two ponies stood there, frozen for several seconds.
The heat vanished from Ace's veins, and he cursed himself for yelling at the shivering pony in front of him.
Ace sat down and rubbed his temples. "Sorry, sorry... I shouldn't have yelled." Word spilled out of his mouth, and he felt like he couldn't control his tongue. "Rough day. We're designing a new wing for Canterlot General, and everypony thinks my designs are too expensive to implement, even though we'll get bigger patient rooms and wider hallways that way. They think I'm just trying to be a big shot. And, yeah, maybe I am, but it still seems like a good idea. They don't even want to give me a chance, and I'm stuck wondering if I should risk ticking somepony off or–"
"You really think I'm delusional?"
Ace looked up to see Staccato staring at him and frowning.
"I…" Ace looked her in the eye and felt a stab in his chest. He realized how easy it would be to backpedal or outright lie, but something about Staccato told him she could handle the truth. "If you think you're going to perform here, then yeah, you're fooling yourself." His insides began to untangle.
Staccato slumped. "I just–"
"I mean, if you've got a dream – and it sounds like you do – then pursue it ruthlessly. I have no idea how you would even begin to make the acoustics work with stunt flying, but if you can make it happen, then, well…" He shrugged his shoulders again. "I have a lot of respect for your tenacity. The world needs more ponies that can take those risks."
Staccato looked up, a small smile on her lips.
"But this?" Ace gestured to the conservatory. "This isn't the place to make it happen. You can't just show up at the last minute and expect everything to go your way. Instead, you need to pick your battles and think hard about how to solve your problems." He took a moment to reflect on his own battles, everything from his job to his ever-deepening relationship with Nocturne, and he smiled. "The best things in life take work."
Staccato looked up at the building for a long time. She rolled her head back and forth, and it took her a few tries to say anything. "Big rooms and hallways are important, right?"
Ace cocked his head to the side, and he felt his left ear flick. "Uh… Yes. They are. The patients will be more comfortable, and it will be safer to quickly transport sick or injured ponies between rooms."
"Better rooms will help everypony." Staccato flapped her wings once. "When my sister was in the hospital, the room was cramped, and it made it tough for the doctors to do everything they needed to." Staccato nodded at Ace. "I know you said that I shouldn't push too hard for this one, but you totally should."
Ace sighed. "Yeah, probably, but I don't want to cause any unnecessary delays. That sort of thing drives me crazy."
"So?" Staccato's voice was sharp. "You've got a good idea. Take it from me, you don't get anywhere playing it safe. You gotta stand out."
"Heh. Even if I'm one of the new guys?" His protest lacked force, which felt oddly satisfying.
"Especially if you're one of the new guys." Staccato reached over and poked him in the chest. "Trust me, you get respect taking life by the horns. Your coworkers are being stupid."
Ace looked down at the ground below him. He pictured himself back at the office, having to slog through more meetings and discussions and excuses about how the bigger spaces weren't worth it.
But then he pictured all the ponies that would be using the hospital, how every single one that came through the door would be more comfortable in a bigger room. He thought about ponies on hospital beds getting shuffled around during an emergency, and if his design helped improve their chances of recovery even a little bit…
Ace chuckled and met Staccato's gaze. "You know what? You're right."
"Of course I'm right. Ponies should really listen to me more often." Staccato jumped to her hooves, flared out her wings, and looked up at the moon. "I'm gonna go vent to a friend for a while, and I should probably start working on my stunts for that birthday party next week, so, uh…" With a smirk, she looked back at Ace. "Thanks for whatever the heck this was."
Ace gave her a large grin and a quick nod. "You, too, and good luck with your job."
"Same to you, buddy. Catch you later!" Staccato hopped into the air and sped off. Ace watched her fly away until she disappeared into the dark blue canopy above.
Taking a breath of the cool air, Ace looked out over Canterlot again. He wondered how many other ponies would be up all night, working on one project or another and resisting the siren call of the warm covers. He sat there until he noticed the time on the clock tower. Eleven o'clock – Nocturne would be done any second. After standing up and stretching out his neck, Ace walked through the doors of the conservatory, already thinking about how to word his new proposal.
Staccato Spark vs. Ace Artisan - by Staccato Spark's Author
Failure. The worst part of being an artist.
Staccato staggered up the mountain of a hill, lugging a violin case over her shoulders. By the time she reached the top she was panting, a thin film of sweat covering her heaving body.
The moon had already climbed the ladder of the sky and was glowing with an ethereal light. Flopping onto the thick, soft grass, she sighed, letting her frustrations loose.
“Tonight was rough Moony. You know my sister’s friend Octavia? Octavia, the best cello player around? She was there. At the club. Of all the nights she chooses this one.” A pained expression appeared, lingering.
“Vinny was there too. I just got so nervous… I messed up big time and at the climax of the piece. Th-they just… got up and walked out.”
A pause, wiping a salty, hot tear that had snuck down her slate blue face.
“I bet you’ve never felt the pain of disappointing your older sister Moony,” sighed the forlorn and depressed pegasus.
Sounds of annoyance and rustling came from an unnoticed bundle of cloth and fur a ways away, lying on the grass. Grey earth pony popped, fuming, out of the blanket, a pretty unicorn following close after.
“Will you please quiet down?” he snapped. “You’re ruining my date! I didn’t take time off of work to listen to complaints about how your life sucks all night! This was supposed to be a peaceful date with Nocturne!”
“What are you doing on my hill?” The startled and bewildered musician asked forcefully. “This is my spot!”
Ace bristled, quick taking offense. “Your hill? Oh! You think you can just kick us off a public park? Who do you think you are? What makes you better than us? Your wings? You… you racist pigeon!” He ended yelling, taking out all his frustration of the past week on the poor pegasi. The unicorn next to him comfortingly put her hoof on his shoulder.
“Wait-- what? I didn’t mean that… I didn’t even say that!” Confusion and alarm crossed her face as Staccato slowly stepped back, ears pressed flat against her bright mane.
“Than what did you mean?” prompted the silky voice of the unicorn, interrupting her boyfriend and trying to smooth over the situation.
“I just ment --... sorry. It’s just I come here so often it feels like home. I didn’t mean to offend you… but I guess that just goes to prove what a klutz I am.”
Chagrined and realizing he was the one in fault, Ace awkwardly held out a hoof. “Sorry… it’s just been… quite a week. Can you forgive me for lashing out?”
Staccato numbly accepted the hoof and quickly dropped it. The awkward silence was deafening as the ponies searched for something to say.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do out here on your own?” Nocturne asked pleasantly, attempting to create conversation.
“I play the violin… to the moon.” Staccato replied, mentally kicking herself, embarrassed at how child-like that sounded.
“Would you mind playing for us?” Nocturne prompted, relieved, she had found something they may have in common.
Staccato looked up startled. “Really? You want me to play?”
“Sure. Why not?” Ace Artisan sighed.
Staccato taking that as a yes, lovingly unpacked her precious instrument, tuning it with ease. With a nod of reassurance, she started playing.
A haunting melody stirred up from the well-used violin, drifting through the sky and with the wind. It tugged at Ace’s heart, stirring a longing he had never known. Closing his eyes, he let himself drift, taking in the beauty of the wandering tune. A sweet kiss interrupted his quiet, entranced state. He opened his eyes slowly, and closed them again. Taking his girlfriend into his forelegs, he slid to the ground not breaking the contact. They embraced each other and the simple beauty of the night.
As Staccato brought her song to a close, peace filled the air, the stars brightened, and the moon shined as never before, as if applauding the incredible performance.
Maybe-just maybe… life gives second chances at dreams.
Ace Artisan's Author
ACE ARTISAN AUTHOR VOTE
I regret capitalizing everything.
Ace did a much better job having the characters be characters. There's a whole range of emotions on play here. Even though Staccato played a more minor role in the story than Ace, that's not necessarily bad. What matters is the characters having impact and being complete, and that was done here very well.
HERE'S A STORY ABOUT OBS THE MOOCHER
HE WAS A LOW DOWN HOOCHIE COOCHER
Ace Artisan's Author
In the first story both OCs were well characterized and found a common ground to emphasize over during a short meeting. The second story was the author's OC meeting some random ponies on a hill.
Ace Artisan's author
This one was really, really hard. But I've got to give it to...
Ace Artisan's Author vote
(I had originally picked Staccato, but I changed my mind after two days!)
Ace Artisan's Author
I'm not a fan of Staccato's. I felt her origin story contrived and too dependant on her relationship with Vinyl, and the moon thing... well... anyway. I found her portrayal much more relatable in Ace's version And him also much more of a rounded character than some dude that snaps at the slightest provocation.
Ace Artisan's Author
It wasn't the best I've read here, but it was the better of the two. I loved the characterization up until Ace flipped out and called Staccato delusional. That seemed really sudden to me. And both stories immediately played off Ace's anger like it didn't happen. The first story held that off for a while, but the second one didn't. Staccato's author really kinda rushed everything to fit it into a tiny story. I didn't really care that she was upset or why, but I did in the first one.
Stunt-flying violinist? Pony Lindsey Stirling confirmed!
So does that make Vinyl...
STACCATO SPARKS AUTHOR
I'll have to agree with Dubs Rewatcher. Staccato's a much more interesting character, and I'd like to see her go on.
Ace Artisan's author
Staccato's author's story was far too short, and any kind of character that Ace had was completely ignored in favor of Staccato either talking about themselves or complaining about something. I also feel that the "playing to the moon thing" is a bit too cliche. As for the writing, directly from Ob's original post: "You should ideally try to emphasize both character's strengths/weaknesses with your entry, rather than write a role that could have been filled by anyone." Staccato's story directly violates this -- Ace's role could have been filled by anyone, and none of his character traits came through (except for the author apparently taking "hates being talked down to by pegasus" to mean "racist", I guess).
6020973
I wish I could do the same in good conscience, but I cannot. Ace wrote by far the better story.
Ace Artisan's Author
No contest. Ace's author's entry was a much fuller piece, lengthier but with little to no superfluousness, with strong characters that I'd genuinely like to read more about. Staccato's author's entry began and then it ended.
Assuming Ace Artisan continues into further rounds, a fun thought strikes me: you could really give Nocturne any profession/hobby/anything and use her to bridge the two major characters. Singer here, then archaeological surveyor for Loam, then sound designer for Loud Mouth or store clerk for Foxglove. Would be worth a chuckle.
Ace Artisan's Author
That story was beautiful and had great character development for both parties. Easily the best story of this set. Staccato Spark's Author's story was a little short, didn't explore the characters very will, and the inclusion of Nocturne took away from the interaction between the two OCs.
Ace Artisan's Author
Not much of a contest for me, personally. Ace's author managed to bring out more in the characters than Staccato's author did, as well as tell a more interesting story. Also, Ace managed to make Staccato a good character without having to emphasize her relationship to Vinyl Scratch; Staccato's entry relied heavily on that, and it really distracted from creating a standalone pony.
Ace Artisan's Author
Ace Artisan's Author (man, that's some assonance there)
Usually purple prose is bad, but not in this case. I think when the buildings "whined about their age," you passed purple and moved into ultraviolet. Good descriptions, good mechanics, and a good
everymaneverypony type of story.Staccato Spark's Author
Too quick. Just when I started getting into it, it was over.
Ace Artisan's Author
Wow, am I the only one to just be blown away by the character interaction in Ace's story? As yonder
6030267 said above, the prose in this gets stupendously purple, and I would suggest you be careful of that in future entries. But the way you interpreted the characters, the interactions... They felt like how a character like Ace (which, by the by, is an awful name) would react to a headstrong, passionate seventeen year old. Now, that being said, your middle (starting just before Ace's blowup--it's amazing how well you were doing and then this was just so terribly contrived and unnatural sounding--to just before Staccato asks about being delusional) is very weak. I mean, I can sort of see how this would happen in this conversation, but it doesn't feelas natural as the rest of it. I dunno. Maybe it's something I've gone through in my own life, or observed, so I have something to relate it to... But Goddamn, top notch on understanding the defining traits here.
That being said, Staccato's author seems to me like it could've been just as good. But you really should have taken far more words for yourself. Slow down the interaction and let them talk more. I think it well within your capabilities. I get that feeling from the writing. But it was just too short, had too much Nocturne in comparison (again, would've benefited from some lengthening), and the ending was fairly cliched, acting as just an ending, rather than a topping off of the characters. The characters come off far more like caricatures than actual characters, especially Ace. But still, I get that you could do it, if you put a little more time to it. And that's nothing to be ashamed of.
ACE ARTISAN’S AUTHOR
Ace Artisan vs. Staccato Spark
Liked: That they both learned something in the end. It felt for a moment like Ace would be lecturing her, and I’m glad that didn’t happen.
Disliked: It’s just a story about two people talking. I can’t say it's interesting.
Staccato Spark vs. Ace Artisan
Liked: That bit where she posits the moon doesn’t know about disappointing its older sister.
Disliked: The dialogue doesn't sound like real people talking.
Ace Artisan's Author
Very good scene setting in that first one. It was kind of tame as far as stories go, and the dialogue didn't always feel natural, but it certainly had more polish and subtlety than the second story. Well done.
Ace Artisan's Author
The former story was more substantial, and despite some overly-loquacious moments, the prose tells its story much better. There's little else I could say that hasn't already been said, so I'll leave it at that.
Ace Artisan's author
I'm surprising nobody with this vote. I loved the character interaction on display here, and I loved how descriptive it was. Others have complained about purple prose, but honestly, aside from that "whined about their age" line, I had no problem with any of it. Same with Ace snapping. Did it feel a little sudden? Probably. But it didn't strike me as out of character or unwarranted. Staccato was being kind of annoying. And speaking of, that's another thing I'll praise - the flaws of both characters were on display here, and they felt very real for it. I really don't have much bad to say about this story at all.
Staccato Spark's author, on the other hand, I think handled things less well. But other comments have already gone into that particular story's problems, and I don't feel I have anything to add here.
Ace Artisan's Author Vote
I was really hoping that Staccato's Story would blow me away, I really was. Ace's was good, but not amazing. As I was reading Staccato's, the ending took me by surprise. I thought there would be some more interacting after she played, but it just ended without much really happening.
Ace Artisan's Author
Uhhhhh... specifics... it was better. In nearly every way. And junk. Yaaaaaaaaaay!
Ace Artisan's Author
The character interactions really made my decision pretty easy.