Ch 25: Bringing up Troubles
FoE: Do Robot Ponies Dream of Electronic Bunnies
Chapter XXV: Bringing Up Troubles
"In a neighborhood, as in life, a clean bandage is much, much better than a raw or festering wound.” - Edward Koch
System Report: 0000000025
Unit Status: Active
Location: Cape Unicorn, Zebrion
Satellite Signal Status: GPS active.
Begin data dump to external off-site memory back-up:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - Done.
Preparing visual report: Done.
Date: --/--/2212, 200PA (+66 days activation)
Time: 1708 Local
Powering from Stand-by. Please wait...
...
...
...
Activating CPU...
Rebooting hard drives...
Initializing motor control... Error. Drives 04, 06, 14, 22, 28, 35, 56, 93, 105, 152, 254 are offline. Probability of physical damage: 97.3%.
Activating inventory sorting system...
Activating S.A.T.S...
Activating auditory/visual system...
Activating vocal system...
Activating consciousness
Unit is online.
“-should be coming online now. I fixed what I could, but he won’t be very mobile for a while.”
“But he’ll be okay if you can replace the parts right?”
“Theoretically, yes. He is a machine after all.”
“He’s MORE than that!!”
Oh goody. The girls are already getting along. I opened my eyes to the sight of Night Rose and Moonshine in the middle of an argument in the middle of what seemed to be an abandoned office. Swiftpaws was in the background, cringing behind Scratch. Zinc simply stared out the window, as did AC but with a sullen look on his face. Frieda was nowhere to be seen, probably on look-out.
“I understand that,” Moonshine replied, backing away defensively. “I’m just saying that, in theory, if we replace what he damaged, he’ll be fine.”
“And what if he isn’t fine? What then?” Night Rose was pissed. Again. Probably at me. Not that I didn’t deserve it; I’d shot two consecutive particle beam salvos at a giant mecha-pony. I was surprised anything was functioning. I started to raise my head as they continued to fight.
“Then I’ll figure something else out! I did build him, you know! I can fix him myself!”
“Can you install a sound dampener,” I asked as I brought myself onto my stomach. “You girls could wake the de-” A flying steel-armored pony slammed into me, pinning me back on the floor.
“You STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE, IMPULSIVE, METALHEADED-” My lips cut hers off as I pulled her into a victory kiss.
“Stop yelling so much, love,” I said, then turned to Moonshine. “Can you scrounge the parts from the downed mecha?”
“Should be able to,” she replied, apparently unsurprised by my recovery. “It’ll take some time. You’ll have limited mobility until I get back.”
“How limited?” I attempted to stand as Night Rose got off of me. I was on my hooves for a grand total of half a second before my front left leg spasmed to the front, my rear right to the back, and my rear left tried to kick me in the crotch. Needless to say, I fell down in a heap.
“None whatsoever,” Moonshine finished.
“How about I just wait for you here then?”
“I’d better get to work,” she said as she turned to leave, Scratch and Swiftpaws following with empty saddlebags.
I tracked their progress via Moonshine’s Pipbuck until they were out of range, looking around the room as I did. It wasn’t anything special. Typical office setup; big main room with a few side rooms. Windows floor to ceiling, giving a good view of the street outside... how the hell had they dragged me up six floors? I understood the necessity, but... how? I way a metric ton when I’m offline!
“Exactly how did I get up here?”
“Lots of grunting, swearing and sweating is how,” Night Rose replied as she laid down next to me. “You alright?”
“Well, except for the bit where my feet spaz out when I stand up, I’m mostly functional. Few systems offline still, but they’ll come back... I hope.”
“They’d better,” Night rose said angrily. “I really don’t like the idea of you being only half strength.”
“Are you alright,” I asked. I could tell even without my vocal analysis program she was stressed out.
“I’ll manage,” she replied, then hesitated. Yep, something was bothering my mare, beyond me being out of action. When she finally spoke, it was subdued, quieter than she was normally. “Verse, I never told you why I was.. well, like I was when we first met. I think I should tell you now.”
I let her continue at her own pace. It was slow, full of hesitation, but she never stopped telling the story until the end. After she’d joined the Rangers and earned her armor, she’d gone out to a bar to celebrate. She’d met another ranger there, one thing led to alcohol, and you can guess where they ended up. Then, pregnancy. Cut to almost a year later. Thru a very convoluted series of events, said ranger was discovered to actually be a raider who’d killed a ranger and, somehow, looked enough like him that no pony knew the difference. He escaped before they could deal with him, but since he and Night Rose had been so close, she was put on trial. They found her innocent, but the commander, a known psychopath, demanded her foal be destroyed as soon as it was born. This part was hardest to hear, and even harder for her to tell. Without details, she told me how she’d been locked away until the foaling, chained up for the event, then locked away again while the final act was carried out. She could hear it’s cries all the way to the end. No pony could do anything to stop it. She was told later that a lone mare had attempted to intervene, but was stopped herself by the commander. She was punished and released from duty.
“Shortly after,” she said, ending the story, “I left the Rangers. They understood, the ones that were against the whole thing. They gave me my armor and rifle, and snuck me out of the compound. I spent years searching for the stallion that had started it all, and where you met me was where I found him.”
I had nothing to say. What the hell could I say? I simply gave her a nuzzle and laid my neck across her lovingly. I couldn’t think of anything else to do. She leaned into me, and we lay there for a while. Finally, she stood up.
“I need some fresh air, and Frieda needs a relief. She’s on the roof right now. If you need anything, call me.”
I nodded, and she disappeared out a door. With a sigh, I laid my head back down, then looked up to see a zebra standing over me.
“Your actions were quite brash. Were you in my tribe, you would take a lash.”
“I did what I had to do, Zinc,” I replied. “That thing would have gone right back to its master and then get sent Celestia knows where. I couldn’t risk it.”
Zirc tilted his head, questioningly. “Was there not another way for you to go and save the day other than trying to cook yourself from the shots you took?”
“Mini nukes barely chipped its paint. And they were the second biggest weapon I carry.” Zinc was silent at that. “There was no other option.”
“While I am not happy at your method,” he finally replied, “I know you did it for the greater good. The Deadly Hawks would have been wiped out, so I will not sit and pout.”
I had to smile at that. “So how’s AC?”
“There is nothing new to report. AC is still very out of sorts.”
“He blames me for Sandy, probably,” I replied. “Not that I can blame him.”
The zebra sat down next to me and looked at the forlorn stallion. “It was not your fault that his friend fell. He knows this fact very well. It is only the pain of losing a friend that brings down his mouth end.”
“I wish I could do something for him."
“Getting us home safe would be a good start. I hope that ghoul returns with the correct parts.”
“She will,” I said with confidence. “Moonshine was the most clever tech in Equestria once.”
Zirc looked over at me, eyebrows raised. “You do remember they days long gone? Tell me: were they nice or just plain wrong?”
“Nicer than now, even with the war on,” I replied, then began to tell him everything I could remember, from that first meeting with Luna to the day I was taken offline. Somewhere in between, AC and Frieda joined us.
I told them of a time when ponies were nicer to each other, when they didn’t try to kill each other over a bottle of Sparkle Cola. Of how, when somepony hurt or killed another, they were swiftly brought to justice and punished. I remembered so much, the data stored in my hard drives bringing up facts and figures, and answers to their occasional questions.
As night fell, Night Rose joined us and asked her own questions. For some reason, she was intent on knowing more about Big Macintosh. I had his complete service record on file, up to the day he died taking an assassin’s bullet for Princess Celestia. Up until that point, he was the highest decorated sergeant in the Equestrian Military.
Eventually, Moonshine, Scratch and Swiftpaws returned, their bags loaded down with an assortment of parts.
“I found what I could,” the unicorn ghoul said as she set her bag down. “I’m not sure about some of it, but enough to get you mobile and combat ready again.”
“Best I could hope for,” I said with a smile.
“Before I start,” she continued, “I need you to do one thing for me. Candy Mane.”
“Wha-“
Systems offline (Admin Lockdown Initiated)
Footnote: New Quest Perk: Historian – You know more about the past than any pony alive, and even more than some who were alive at the time. You gain +1 to any history-related speech roll. In addition, your tactical prowess is bolstered by history’s lessons. You gain +1 Initiative.
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you are not dead woo-hoo
wow an update?!
Right before the end of the world too.
An... update? Wow!0_0
Sees update
*fainths*
Seems you finally got over that complete loss of progress all that time ago. Good for you :D
I am amazed.
finahlley.
Awesome, a new chapter!
Downloaded to read it on the train home
Holy ship I thought this story died
"Candy Mane" huh? And Pinkie was suspiciously absent from that last memory. something fishy's going on there
Spotted some errors, thought it'd be better to point them out:
> Freida
Frieda
> I way a metric ton when I’m offline!
"I [weigh]"
> Night rose said angrily
Forgot capital letter on "Rose"
> Thru a very convoluted series of events
"Through"
> She could hear it’s cries
"its cries"
> and secreted me out of the compound.
I don't think that verb means what you think it means. (and yes, "secreted" is past tense of that; "to secret" isn't a verb at all)
I'd say something like "secretly smuggled me out of the compound".
By the way, I also saw some questions ending on a comma instead of a question mark. The basic rule of turning the end punctuation into a comma in a "s/he said" construction is only valid for a period; question marks and exclamation marks should be kept as they are
good a new chapter been waiting a long time but good one
I'm loving this! Please please keep up!
It is good to see you are back.
Thank you. (for writing this and being awesome)
1823435 I LIVE!
1825506 I did too!
1831707 Down, Grammar Nazi! Down! I'll fix them... eventually.
maybe.
1905625
Yay! New chapter coming?
1905636
But... errors make Fluttershy sad! True fact!
1905625
lounge.moviecodec.com/images/attachment/about-ichigos-so-called-dimensionbusting-32248.jpg
Comment is from 21 weeks ago.
2681685
Your point?
2681777
AHA! PROOF!
2681860
What exactly are you proving?
2681882
LIFE!
2682071
...riiiiiiiiiiiiiight...
Pleaase don't abandon this v.v
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOUUU
UPDATTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OR I WILL FUCKING EAT YOUR SOUL!
4140597 But my soul is chewy and bland. It tastes like ashes mixed with sugar-free vegan cake topped with unprepared rhubarb stalks and kale trimming.
I'm going to start writing again, I promise. I just got over a fairly ugly period in which I spent 9 months in Michigan. I will get back to work immediately. Or at least shortly. Probably.
4530643
Glad to hear it ^.=.^
THAT WAS AWESOME ! PLEASE MOAR !
M.O.A.R : More Obviously Awesome Reading.
Hey everypony.
Just an update here. My laptop has been broken for some time now, life issues keep cropping up, and there was also the month I spent on jail. Don't ask, it's long done with. I'm currently waiting on repairs, but in the meantime I have a tablet on the way for temporary relief. I will be returning to working on my various stories again once it arrives.
Daaargh, I hate Hiatus'
5872082
Me too, but its unavoidable sadly.
So, update.
I got the tablet and did start writing again. The screen broke after a month. The touch screen I mean. On top of that, some asshat stole my phone while I was charging it. I'm working on getting a replacement touch screen, hopefully here next week and fixed soon after. Hooves crossed.
Jumping chocolate Jesus balls I have some shitty ass luck don't I?
5892175
You sure do.
It'd be awesome if you managed to finish this, though
Just an FYI: I'm not dead. Amazing, right?
I still have the next chapter started, and will be working on it again. It is coming, I Pinkie Pie Promise.
Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in myAUGH!!!! MY GOD!!! IT BURNS!! I CAN SEE THE SWEETNESS!!
6164327
Neat. I'll probably have to reread the whole damn fic to have any idea of what's going on if you do post a new chapter, though
6910189
Yeah, I've never actually been happy with that chapter. I'm considering a complete rewrite of it when I finally get back to work here.
Sir, please hurry, I know some fans that personally wanna stick a mini balefire egg in the place where the sun don't shine!! If you know what I mean.......