Fallout Equestria: Do Robot Ponies Dream of Electronic Bunnies

by ScottWolf

Ch 14: Helping Hoof

FoE: Do Robot Ponies Dream of Electronic Bunnies

Chapter XIV: Helping Hoof

Everyone knows that when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and umption." - Samuel L. Jackson, The Long Kiss Goodnight

System Report: 0000000014
Unit Status: Active
Location: Caravan heading east.
Satellite Signal Status: Receiver offline. GPS active.
Begin data dump to external off-site memory back-up:
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - Done.
Preparing visual report: Done.

Date: --/--/2212, 200PA (+42 days activation)
Time: 1300 Local

Dusty.

Well, what did I expect? Of course the road was dusty. That's all there is in the wasteland isn't there? Dust. Dirty dust that gets everywhere. I'd had to seal my thruster ports just so they wouldn't get clogged from it all being blown around. There were also a great many rock formations. They all seemed too lose, as if they would tumble down and crush us without provocation.

Whose bright idea was this? Oh, right.

I was walking along behind a covered wagon at the tail end of the caravan. My eyes, scanners, radar, and everything else I had was on high alert, searching for red dots, heat signatures, and anything else that might be hostile. We were barely two days out of New Appleoosa before we'd been attacked by raiders and slavers. Since then, they'd appeared almost daily. If the wind wasn't throwing around so much dust, I'd have my chain gun out in case they suddenly appeared again.

Inside the wagon, I could hear Night Rose speaking with the third member of the caravan ponies, a unicorn named Deep Scratch. When I'd first seen her, I'd thought she was Vinyl Scratch, but the shades of blue in her main were flipped from the 200-years past DJ, and her eyes were a deep burnt orange. Her body was covered in white, and her cutie mark was a double note, exactly as Vinyl had. I chalked the resemblance up to being a distant relative and didn't bring it up.

"So you've been making music since you were a foal," Night Rose was saying. "But you never once thought to use an actual instrument?"

"Why would I," Scratch replied. "The sound metal makes when banged with other stuff is way cooler. And anyway, instruments are way too conventional for my taste. I prefer eclectic music."

"I can see where the same old thing would be dull," Night Rose replied thoughtfully. "You should try recording some of it and sending it to DJ-Pon3, see what he thinks."

"Maybe I will, when we get back."

Sadly, we were out of the DJ's broadcasting range, so the only sound we could hear was the wind and the Brahmin who pulled the wagons talking with themselves. I had decided to trot to the head of the column and get our bearings when the wagons came to a sudden halt. Confused, I cantered to the front while Night Rose popped out the backside of the wagon, energy rifle ready. Her helmet had never been replaced, so I'd asked Starry to integrate an E.F.S. into what was left of her armor. He'd responded by producing a replacement helmet and another PipBuck and presenting them to her as a gift. She wore the PipBuck now that we were on the road.

As I passed the second wagon, Frieda poked her own orange-tipped feathered head out. "What's the trouble?"

I shook my head and kept going, happy to have the griffon along, but still unsure as to why she'd joined with us. Her own explanation was that she'd never been out of Equestria before, and thought she should before some "dirty raider plucked her for dinner." My own assumption was that she wanted to pay me back for saving her tail. I didn't like assumptions though.

I found Chef Sandy and Apple Cider conversing with what looked like a zebra wearing tribal armor. It was made of leather, wrapped around his chest and back, and seemed to be well used. On his flank was a glyph mark shaped like a trio of spears sticking up towards his rump and meeting at their tips. The two earth ponies nodded at me as I approached with Frieda beside me in full combat gear. The zebra seemed to be agitated, speaking almost angrily at them.

"I tell you, you must turn back away from this gloom/If you do not, I assure you of your impending doom/The canyon cannot be traversed/For you ponies, I can only fear the worst."

"This guy here says the path ahead isn't safe to travel," AC informed me. "Something about a tribal war going on between his tribe and one called the Deadly Hawks."

I nodded, then turned to the zebra, switching to his language.

"What trouble plagues this road," I asked. "And what danger could it pose?" Beside me, both ponies stared agape. I hadn't told anypony I could speak zebra, but then, they didn't know I had a universal translator built into me. Frieda, on the other hoof, didn't look surprised at all.

"Grey giant," the zebra replied, a little more at ease while speaking his native tongue. "My people are called the Silent Deer. For many years now, we have fought the Deadly Hawks over land, cattle and heartache born of generations past. It comes to a head now, and all-out war is waged between us. The road before you lays besieged by both sides, and any who attempt it shall suffer a thousand spear wounds and a hundred arrows apiece. This is decreed by both my leader and theirs, sadly the only thing they've ever agreed upon besides each other's undying hatred. I stop you here and say travel no further, for your own safety and my own conscience."

"We make for Zebrion," I told him. "It is a personal matter I am to settle there, and I shall not be stayed. Please, bid me what must be done for safe passage."

The zebra was taken aback. Clearly, no pony had ever thought to offer help. He looked away down the road, his eye seemingly fixed on a point in the distance. "There is but one way to end this conflict. Neither side may survive while the other still lives." He turned back to us, eyes full of fire. "End this conflict. By blood if necessary, but end it. That is the only way that this road is passable."

"I'm not one to go into an enemy camp, death's scythe in hoof," I said, a hint of anger creeping into my voice. "I am not an assassin, and will not play the part well. A peaceful solution shall be found, or no other."

The zebra nodded solemnly. It was what he hoped for as well. "I shall lead you to our leader. Only he knows the full tale of this conflict. He alone holds your key to this Pandora's Box. Follow me." He then turned and started down the road a bit.

"Mount up, folks," I said, returning to Equestrian. ""We're off to meet the chief."

"Is this diversion going to take long," Chef Sandy asked. "We're kind of on a schedule here."

"And how will the schedule stand if you're dead," asked Frieda before turning and flying back to her wagon.

"The road isn't safe," I told them. "We're going to meet his leader and see what we can do about that."

Chef grumbled a little bit, but returned to his wagon. AC turned as well and climbed up onto the lead wagon. "Personally, I'd prefer this be quick as well. But a long detour is better than a dead one."

I stood aside as the wagons got moving, then fell in behind the last wagon again. Night Rose was still perched on the back door, rifle ready.

"You heard," I asked.

"You were transmitting," she replied, giving the horizon one last scan before sitting down again, her mane whipping in the wind. "I heard every word. Thanks for the translation, by the way. I don't speak Stripe."

"Wasn't sure if you did," I replied. I'd connected her without even thinking about it. The translation software had activated automatically. "I want to do this as easily as possible."

"No shooting then?"

"As long as we don't shoot first, shooting is fine."

The Silent Deer tribespony lead us into a large canyon. We seemed to travel for hours before he stopped and asked us to dismount the wagons. They were hidden in a cave next to an arroyo I hadn't even seen until we were right on top of it. The creek it held lead right to their encampment, with some dangerous traps guarding the path. AC and Sandy seemed nervous, as did Frieda. All three kept looking around, expecting an attack or some other form of trickery. Scratch, however, looked curious, but cautious nonetheless.

"Calm down, guys," Night Rose said from the rear, her voice filtered by her helmet and given an almost robotic tone. "They're not gonna jump out and yell 'boo' at you."

How are you doing back there, I texted to her.

"I'm fine," she replied privately. "Nervous, but not scared."

I chuckled a bit, then stopped as I almost collided with out zebra leader. He was making a bird call with his voice, and was answered by another around the bend. Another call exchange and he nodded to himself.

"It is now safe for you to continue," he said to me, turning around. "I must resume my duty. My mate, Te'liana, will take you to our leader. She speaks fluent Equestrian, so your companions may join the conversation."

"Thank you for the assistance, brave scout," I told him with a low nod.

"Thank me by ending this." With that he galloped away.

"So, what's this then," Chef asked, fear creeping into his voice. "Is he just gonna leave us here?"

"No," I replied, beginning forward again. "We're just changing guides here. That's all." When I rounded the bend, I was greeted by the sight of several zebras wandering about, going about their business. Tee-pees and thatched huts lined the shore. We were in an arroyo, but it felt a lot larger than it was. The zebras had built overhead bridges that crossed to cliffs along the wall that rose up three levels. Directly ahead lay a large hut with several bedroll-style blankets within. Torches kept the area lit well; the sun was setting soon.

Another zebra trotted up to us from the big hut and bowed. "Greetings, " she said to everyone. "I am Te'liana. My husband, Da'riano, has asked that I show you to our leader and, if necessary, temporary lodgings."

"We're hoping it won't be," AC said politely. "But we appreciate it all the same."

"Follow me, then," Te'liana said, turning and trotting further down the creek. We followed her closely. The path made several twists and turns, branched off to what my radar told me was many dead ends and pitfalls. Were someone to attack this place, they'd better know where they were going. It was one large and deadly maze. Throughout the trip, my companions asked questions about her, the tribe, and the war they were in. The war, she would not speak of, but she didn't mind telling us about herself and her people.

"We've been dwelling in this land for centuries, long before the war between our races divided us from you. We weren't always so primitive, but with the loss of technology to the war, we've had to make due."

At last, we came to a cave at the end of the trail. Te'liana stepped inside with what seemed like near reverence, bowing her head low as she entered. I motioned to the others, then followed her example as we went in.

The cavern's lone occupant was perched atop a pole made of bamboo, one hoof holding him above it while the rest were splayed out to keep balance. His eyes were closed in a relaxed concentration. Te'liana bowed again even though he couldn't see her, then trotted up and whispered into his ear. Slowly his eyes opened and came to rest upon the six of us.

"So," he said, not coming down from hos pole. "You have come to aide us in removing the threat of the Deadly Hawks?"

"We have come to end the conflict," I replied. "Bloodlessly, if possible."

His eyes narrowed, but no emotion came into his voice. "They have plagued us for years upon years. They attack us unprovoked, stealing our food and our females and wounding our children. They have no honor among them."

"Where do they lie? I would like to speak with them myself."

"If they let you live that long," he chuckled, the pole wobbling slightly. He didn't seem to notice how close he came to falling. "Their home is to the south of the arroyo entrance. Te'liana will guide you as far as it is safe to, but do not ask her to join you in going to them. She would be killed outright."

"I understand," I replied. "We will do what we can." The zebra leader smiled (which looked like a frown upside down), and closed his eyes again, returning to his meditation. Te'liana walked back out with us.

"Remind me again why this is a good idea," Chef said when we were out of the cave. "I thought we hired you to protect us, not put us in danger."

"You did," I replied. "You, AC, and Scratch are gonna stay here. These zebra will keep you safe if trouble comes knocking. Night Rose and Frieda are coming with me."

"Hang on," Scratch said, stepping forward. "Why do I have to stay behind?"

"Because you're not a combatant in this," Frieda replied for me. "Civilians stay out of the fire."

"The hell I will," Scratch replied. "I'm no slouch with a gun. I can fight too."

"Regardless," I said, putting my hoof down. "You stay here. If we need help, I'll yell for it. Right now, we aren't looking for a fight."

Scratch nodded resentfully, not liking the decision but accepting it. Te'liana lead us to the large hut so Chef, AC and Scratch could rest, then proceeded out of the camp.

"Be careful," Scratch called as we left. Night Rose nodded back at him and called "You too."

"So, what can you tell us about the Deadly Hawks," Frieda asked Te'liana as we made our way out of the arroyo.

"From what I've been told, we were friends at one time," she replied. "Several hundred years ago, before the great war began, we lived in this canyon in peace. Ponies from your land would come here to vacation and enjoy our hospitality. With them came many wonders of technology we no longer have. It was a good time for our people.

"When the war began, an envoy of the Caesar came with an order to stage attacks from here. We refused, telling him that we wanted no part of his war with the Equestrians. He was angry, but gave no rebuttal. At least, none we could perceive. He was an evil, calculating zebra. We did not even know someone had infiltrated us until long after the seeds of dissent had been sown, and a tribal war broke out.

"At the time, the tribes to the south were un-joined, preferring to keep to themselves while keeping good relations with everyone else. Then suddenly, they attacked us. Many zebra were lost, as the northern tribes were unprepared for such an event."

"I can imagine," I said. "How did they finally beat them back?"

"The southern zebra fought us hoof to hoof, but we had pony weapons. Rifles, energy pistols, flamethrowers. Gifts from the Equestrian military should we ever have been attacked from without. Once our forces were mustered, we were able to drive them off easily. For a long time, we held them back, but then ponies stopped coming to see us. Supplies ran out, and we were forced to fight them on equal footing. We have done so ever since."

"Amazing," Night Rose said. "All because you didn't want to fight us."

"Indeed," Te'liana nodded, a certain sadness creeping into her demeanor. "We refused war with you ponies, and received war with ourselves as payment. Such was the will of the Caesar." I shook my head in disgust. Whoever the Caesar had been, I hoped he was rotting in whatever hell he'd believed in.

Nearly two hours later, we stopped near a very tall rock formation. It didn't look natural, but age had worn it down to a solid structure. I could tell there were holes for supports to anchor it down. Whatever purpose it had served in the past, it's only use now was as a landmark.

"This is as far as I can travel," Te'liana told us. "Continue along the riverbed until you come to a wrecked sky vehicle. From there, the correct path is east. It will take you to their home, assuming you are not stopped before."

I nodded and started down the river, Night Rose right behind me and Frieda hovering overhead. As we traveled further, we began to see dead zebra littering the way. Some were hung from the rock face of the canyon, other strung across the river with chains.

"Reminds me of a raider settlement," Night Rose said bitterly. "Whose bright idea was this?"

"Quiet you," I retorted, flicking my tail at her playfully. "We'll be fine. Trust me."

"Trust you, you say."

Zebras surrounded us completely. Frieda was tied up on the ground, and neither Night Rose nor I would be able to draw a weapon before they could gut us. The spears at our throats didn't exactly puncture skin, but they broached no argument as to who was in charge. I laughed nervously, then swallowed, feeling the spear tip push slightly harder.

Whose bright idea was this?

Oh. Right.

Footnote: Level Up!

New Perk: Linguist - You know quite a few languages in existence, and several that aren't any longer. You get +15 persuasion when speaking in a foreign tongue.

Comments

[Crosshairs]

arroyo, isnt that the village from fallout 2?