Chapter Three: Meeting The CMC
Third Person View
It had been two days since Alduin had defeated Tirek. Since that day he had found a cave a few miles up the mountain that Canterlot rested on. He was currently asleep, when he stirred upon sensing the presence of ponies entering his cave. He woke and stood. He didn't know if Celestia had notified anypony of his existence. If she had, then this wouldn't be a problem. If she had yet to tell them, well, let's just say he would have to be patient as they freaked the buck out.
"See? Ah told you there was a cave up here," Alduin used his power to identify the ponies that were coming in. He found that it was Apple Bloom, Sweety Belli, and Scottalo, or the CMC for short. What where they doing up here?
"Um, why are we up here again Apple Bloom?" asked Scottalo.
"Well," said Apple Bloom, "since my sister and her friends are in the Crystal Empire defending it from, what was his name? Sobra? No, Sambro? No. Oh I remember now! Sombra, that was his name. Anyways, since they're gone to defend the Crystal Empire defending it from Sombra again, I thought we could get our cutie marks as mountain climbers!"
'Sombra? As in king Sombra?' Alduin thought, 'Why didn't Celestia tell me about this? She must have thought Twilight could handle it. I'll go and check in a sec, but first I need to figure out what to do about these girls.'
"Um, girls?" Sweety Belli started "I think something's in here with us." The CMC looked around wearily as they came to the back of the cave, right were Alduin sat. The CMC soon realized they were in something's shadow. They stopped, and slowly looked up, right into Alduin's eyes.
"Why hello little ones," Alduin said. "Now what might you three be doing in my cave?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" The CMC screamed in sync and started running away. They weren't looking where they were going, and they were suddenly falling off the face of the mountain. They immediately started screaming again, only to be interrupted by Alduin.
"Hold on little ones!" The CMC looked up to see Alduin diving down for them. In a matter of moments he caught them on his back and straightened out so they wouldn't fall. "Are you all okay?" Alduiin asked with concern.
"Yea we're okay," said Apple Bloom "Thanks for the save mister...."
"Alduin," Alduiin answered. "My name is Alduiin. You may have seen my statue in the royal garden." The CMC immediately got worried looks on their faces. "Oh do not worry, that fighting in the past was all a misunderstanding. Me and the princesses have made up."
"Oh okay," replied Scottalo. "For a second there I thought you were evil."
"No. I just wanted peace and a place to rest. Now would you all mind telling me what you were doing up there? It's extremely dangerous and had you fallen like you just did and I wasn't here to catch you, well, I rather not think of what could have happened."
"Well," Sweety Belli started, "my sister Rarity and her friends went to the Crystal empire to defend it from some guy named Sombra. We were taking a vacation visit to here when they had been told so we wanted to try and get our cutie marks while they were gone."
"Well that sounds very interesting. How about I drop you all off at the castle so you can get back to wherever you're staying?"
"Sounds like a plan!" said Apple Bloom, and with that, Alduin, with the CMC on his back, descended into Canterlot.
Scootaloo is how you spell her name. It's "The princesses and I" as well.
Not finding too many mistakes, but the chapters could be longer. I'm not complaining as what's here is already good, but it would be better if you got the chapters longer than a thousand words each.
Here's a good web site for help on writing if you need it.
So first he changed the Season 4 ending, and now season 3 beginning? I am confused. Confused over pineapples.
I... you did that on purpose, didn't you?
Solarkness it's not the start of season 3, Sombra just came back again and Flutters is Shy, I don't get what you mean by I did that on purpose
Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo (<throughout the chapter(s) it the same I take it)
And shouldn't his speech be in Bold seeing how he a dragon and therefore have a rather long voice?
Unless he using magic to change his voice
Also use the reply tab to the right of the comment(s) or they won't get your reply
Alduin actually sounds like a good last name
That is covered in sharp spines and razor-sharp scales.
Normally I'd call bull on them making it that far in a day, let alone up a mountain in a day. But given these three...I can see that.
5985018 why didn't you reply to him instead of just commenting it?
5984317 he replied to you with his own comment. Thought you'd like to know.
5991243 yes the names are still wrong, otherwise since i got used to your type of Dispaced, and since this are actually good ideas, i can enjoy it a bit more.
The dragon's name is spelled "Alduiin" throughout the chapter, when it should be "Alduin." However, I didn't spot any other problems with the chapter, and replacing names is fairly easy.
Prince Zodiak, is English your first language, because this is HILARIOUSLY bad in the spelling and grammar side of thing.
Every time I saw "Sweety Belli" I read it as "sweaty belly." That was...weird.
Please throw through Grammarly or something...
6874648
Yeah, when it started out the grammar was horrid. Need to rewrite it all.
8306015
I know. My grammar sucked starting out. Need to redo those chapters.
6304902
Yep. Something I still need to fix.
6874648
Eh, not even close to the worst I've seen.
This was a good chapter. Simple and sweet.
6281714
I dont know, I rather like when my text to speech says "Sskot a low"
Dear, dear Sskot-ah-low.
To be honest, the way its spoken, its a pretty cool name. Almost like something out of a greek myth. Especially with the hissing s. The great hero Sskotahloh!
I think it makes things a bit more fun
Monk