Chapter Seven: The One Who's Lost Like Me
Chapter Seven: The One Who’s Lost Like Me
{Third PoV}
In another universe, a tall black and white bipedal figure stood in a tree library reading a book on the construction of sound. This creature was known as Lee Connors… Or Venom, but he had already given up most of his humanity. He found himself bored. He was looking for a spell to prevent a death, yet he hated not being able to find things easily. ‘I miss the internet...’
Lee placed the book back on the shelf. He was about to continue, but a deafening roar made him flinch, and the usual vortex appeared underneath him.
‘Well… I guess the universe hates me…’
{Dan’s PoV}
“LEE CONNORS” I shouted “I SUMMON YOUR AID!” The moment I finished shouting those words, a vortex opened up above me, and out came a rather, bizarre creature.
The creature looked like a tall, black, bipedal, humanoid, with a white spider on his chest. He landed right in front of me on his back, then looked up at me.
He seemed to roll his white eyes, “What do you need big-dark and loud? Or was I summoned by another pony/anthro? I’m getting sick of that...” He jumped up and stretched his limbs. After each movement, a cartoonish pop would be heard. “You summon me?”
“Indeed I have,” I replied. This guy came off as a little bit rude, but by his attitude and the feeling he was giving off, I could tell something bad had just happened to him, or rather, someone he knew. I decided to cut him some slack. “So, I can guess your Lee Connors?”
“The one and only,” he replied. “What is it that you need help with? Want me to help you grab something? Beat somepony?”
“Not somepony,” I replied with a serious tone. “Someone.”
As if on cue, the Dovakiin barges in. He looks at us. Then does a double take. “What in Sovngarde is that?” he asks, pointing to Lee.
“Name’s Lee Connors,” Lee said nonchalantly. “Your name would be?”
“That is on a need to know basis monster!” Dovakiin said. Well, this meeting was going a lot better than I thought. Truth be told, I thought the Dovakiin would have already been trying to kill Lee.
“Wait a sec,” Lee said. “I know you two.” Lee then brought his hand to his chin and swept through his memories to try and remember who we were, or rather who the Dovakiin and my body Alduiin were. His eyes lit up after a few seconds. “Now I remember! You two are from Skyrim! I loved that game! Wait, does that mea-”
“Die creature!” the Dovakiin interrupted him. The Dovakiin charged and swung, just barely missing Lee.
“Whoa man, calm down!” Lee said. “We’re on the same side right?” Oh no. He thought the Dovakiin was a good guy because of the game. This could be bad. Luckily for me, the Dovakiin is a bit of a dumbass.
“You will die like the rest of Alduiin’s allies!” the Dovakiin shouted. That was what I was hopping he would say.
“Like the rest?” Lee asked. “Who else is his allies?” The Dovakiin was about to give Lee an answer with a sword strike, but I nailed him from behind. He got sent flying out of the castle.
“My allies are the ponies,” I answer. “The Dovakiin is hell bent on killing both me and everypony in existence.”
“What?” Lee asked. “Why would he want that? Isn’t he good? Aren’t you supposed to be bad?”
“I could ask the same of you,” I replied in a serious tone.
“Good point,” Lee said. “Well, what reason has he got to be mad at them?”
“Me,” I said. “He isn’t like me and I assume you. He’s the original Dovakiin, and isn’t being controlled by someone else, as far as I know. How he got here, I do not know. But I do know that he is a threat, hell bent on my death. The massacre of my allies to him, is just a stepping stone to my destruction. He is merciless, and will not hesitate to kill everypony in sight. That is why I summoned you. I need your help to stop him, before he can harm anypony.”
“Alright, I get the gist of what’s going on,” Lee replied. “What do you need me to do?”
{Third PoV}
“Wait! I want to mess with him!” Lee said, grining mentally. No one messes with ponies, and Lee needed an outlet for all the crud he’s been through. Lee walked to the Dragonborn and crouched. Lee was far away enough that the game protagonist couldn’t reach him. “You seem like a moron. Care to prove me wrong?”
The Dovakiin looked at him angrily. He quickly rolled back and stood. “You foul creature, like everything else in this world, will die because of your allegiance!” the Dovakiin shouted. First, he had to deal with Alduiin. Now this thing? It made no difference, all of Alduiin’s allies would die, and he would follow suit. The Dovakiin charged, fully intent on killing this creature as fast as possible. The Dovakiin swung his sword at Lee, but a black Scythe appared right in front of the intended target.
“Funny you say that stupid!” The black body turned into a human with a blindfold. “I guess some of us are more reasonable than others… I guess you have no feelings!” Lee swung the back of his Scythe which made contact on the Dovakiin’s helmet, “Frankly, I’m glad I get to fight a brainless jerk-face like you. Better than the killer I have to face. Just one question. How many innocent ponies has this alcoholic killed?” Lee turned his head to the dragon in the room.
“None as far as I know,” Alduiin replied. “He came close to murdering Princess Twilight Sparkle though, she is definitely not going to be happy about the state of her castle.” Alduiin muttered that last part, but Lee still heard it.
‘Princess? Not another one… Wait...’ Lee’s head twitched, “YOU ALMOST KILLED SPARKLE-BUTT!?!?!?!?!?” Lee backhanded the Dovakiin. “You are one messed up individual. Celestia I could understand, but poor little Twi?”
“She’s an ally of Alduiin!” the Dovakiin shouted. “She, like all the rest, deserves to die!”
“Wait, so you really want to kill everyone? Now THAT is stupid. And you are spiciest…” Lee huffed, crossing his arms and turning his head to the side. “And who said they were? Even if I’m on Alduiin’s side, you didn’t even TRY to turn them on him? You, my dear sir, aren’t even deserving of the title of villain!”
“Actually I don’t think he could have if he tried,” said Alduiin. “I saved the CMC from falling off a cliff, I’m currently teaching Twilight the ancient dragon language, and I’m a celebrated hero in the Crystal Empire from stopping Sombra from getting back control over the Crystal Empire for the second time. So, in all sense, they are my allies.”
Lee sighed, ‘I wish I did those things...’ “But he didn’t even try. He must be a Nord if he’s this stubborn. Anyway, you have two choices. One, you could surrender, because you are a criminal scum.” ‘Oh. My. Gosh.’ “Or, you could take an arrow to the knee. Your choice.”
The Dovakiin grimaced. Not many people knew it, but the arrow to the knee story was actually pretty horrific. It’s a miracle that’s all that guard suffered. But that story was for another time.For now the Dovakiin needed to make a choice. So he did.
“What about choice three?” the Dovakiin asked grinning.
“What?” Lee raised an eyebrow. Suddenly The Dovakiin raised his sword and stabbed Lee. Lee staggered back, and then fell.
“LEE!” Alduiin shouted. He rushed up and looked down at Lee, the cut was scorched. “DAMN YOU DOVAKIIN! FUS RO DA!” The Dovakiin was thrown back into the streets of Ponyville. Alduiin looked back down at Lee. “Is there anything I can do to heal you?”
Lee nodded, “I’ll need your permission… I need to fuse with a host…” Lee coughed, ‘This is embarrassing...’
“Very well,” said Alduiin. “Fuse with me then.”
Lee took a hold of Alduiin’s claw. His body melted and slithered around the dragon’s body. It took longer to fuse, but the end result was scary/amazing. It seemed to be a dragon with black and white scales. Alduiin’s claws were longer, and so were his teeth. A white Spider insignia was on his chest, and he heard a voice.
‘Man it’s crowded in here! What’s up with the stars?’ Lee’s voice echoed, ‘Don’t worry, this is how I communicate with my hosts!’
‘Well this surely is an, experience,’ Alduiin thought. ‘Alright, lets go show the Dovakiin just how powerful he really is!’
‘Let’s F him up!’ They took to the skies and found the Dovakiin getting up after being knocked out of the castle. When he saw Alduiin/Lee coming at him, he froze in terror.
“Wh-What are you?” he asked shakily.
“WE ARE VALDUIIN!” when Valduiin spoke, both Lee’s and Alduiin’s voices spoke together in perfect harmony. “WE ARE THE FUSION OF THE PROTECTORS OF TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS! WE ARE THE DISPLACED THAT WILL PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE!”
‘And that is how you make an entrance… And now you know about Displaced...’ Lee said.
Valduiin flew right about The Dovakiin and blew black fire around him. The two landed and took a swipe at the dragon killer, but webbing from Lee pulled him back to the claw. The Dovakiin was swung for about a minute, then thrown into the fire. The two prepared to shout, but were interrupted when the Dovakiin jumped up and used a shout of his own. Dragon Rend to be exact.
The Dovakiin landed with a smile on his face, which quickly turned to a look of horror when he saw Valduiin take to the skies.
“HA!” they laughed. “IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GROUND US YOU ARE DEAD WRONG!”They flew down at him and grabbed him with their claws, cutting him deeply as they did so. They flew back up and tossed him up into the air, then blasted him with black fire. He came back down and landed on his back. He slowly got up.
“This isn’t over!” he shouted, then he used a shout known as Whirlwind Sprint, and was gone in a blink of an eye. With him gone, Lee receded from Alduiin and landed on the ground.
“Man! I needed that!” Lee sighed, “That should keep your ponies safe…” Lee gave a worried expression. “He will be back, and I’d hate to leave a fellow displaced hanging…” Lee looked at his Token, and an idea struck him. “I know! Can you handle a child?” Lee smirked evilly.
Lee took the Token with his webs. He set it down on the most flattened ground near him. “Hey, have any magic chalk? I’m guessing not…”
Alduiin opened his mouth and purple fire escaped his jaws. It hit the ground and drew a ritual circle around the token. “Is that good enough?” Alduiin asked.
Lee was shocked, “It’ll suffice. For someone who doesn't know about what I’m going to do, it seems like it’s almost an exact copy of my last one.” Lee scratched his head, “Do you have sacrifice magic?”
“No but I saw your memories so when you mentioned a child I assumed you were talking about the time you made Cancer.”
Lee grumbled, “I never looked into your mind! Have the courtesy to knock next time!” Lee sighed, “Sorry. I’ve had a REALLY bad day. Somepony in my world was killed…” Lee shook his head. He prepared his Scythe.
“Sorry,” Alduiin said. “When we fused your memories tried to flood in, I only saw your most recent memory and a random important one, but nothing else.”
Lee shook his head. He took a deep breath, and slashed at his arm. He muffled a scream of pain. The arm fell, dissipating on impact. He took the token, and placed it on the seal. A burst of light, and it was finished.
Where the ritual circle once was, there was now a black blob. It started to float towards Alduiin, but then stopped and started shaking violently. It then split into two, then both halves finished their journey to Alduiin. He felt two definite but weak consciences enter his mind and kind of just, sit there. One thing to note was, one was a boy, one was a girl.
“Huh… Twins… That’s never happened before.” Lee tilted his head. “Think you can handle them?”
“Certainly,” said Alduiin. “Being in stone for a thousand years allowed me to learn. Child care was no exception.”
Lee shrugged but smiled. He turned around, “A couple things! One, take good care of them. Two, give Twily my regards! three, the twins are my new token. And four,” The vortex opened, “Have fun being a dad. Some of us have kids that hate our guts for no reason!” He laughed insanely.
“No worries,” Alduiin said with a smile. “Now you better get home. A certain somepony must be worried about you.” Lee looked at Alduiin with a shocked look, but quickly smiled.
“Yeah! I better go…” A blush spread across his face, then he remembered, “Your Token! I need it to summon you!”
“Right,” said Alduiin. He concentrated, and soon a stone tablet appeared in Lee’s hands. “That stone tablet doesn’t just summon me. It’s also got the ancient dragon language alphabet on it. The back has directions on how to phrase certain words, but it’s practically just like the english language. Same letters, different spots. Give a copy of it to your Twilight. I know she’ll be eager to learn it.”
Lee smiled, “I will. Goodbye Alduiin!” Lee’s smile turned sad when he looked at the twins, but jumped into the portal as fast as he could.
A tear rolling down Lee’s face as he turned back into his normal form.
‘Goodbye Lee Connors’ Alduiin thought. ‘Hmm… Now what to do with these two. I think I will name the boy, Plague, and the girl, Amnesia.’ Alduiin smiled, satisfied with the names, and took to the skies once more, to fly back to his cave.
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Now, he has to explain how hes a father. Yay!
5998023 the twins will also play a part in Alduiin and Twilight becoming closer together. That's right I'm shipping them. And now it's to late for anyone to complain or agree so deal with it.
? venoms kids... also I think I spotted an error below.
The Dovakiin grimaced. Not many people knew it, but the arrow to the knee story was actually pretty horrific. It’s a miracle that’s all that guard suffered.
5998786 maybe, google doc. didn't correct it so I don't think so but they may be someother errors. I need to do the fine tunning.
more chapters please?
5998857 first couple chapters for me are always short and rushes. I do that get the point across and get the feel for the story.
Why is the dragonborn so powerful? You made him pretty OP. If the dragonborn was truly an ass in the lore (and as egotistical) he would have been dead a long time before defeating Alduin.
6006384 but he's overpowered. Probably made a sacrifice to some of the Daedric Princes.
Are Plague and Amnesia dragons?
Why did Alduiin say "the dragon language", instead of dovahzul?
6006384
6191344
Actually, if this were a lore dragonborn, then he'd be that powerful at least, the dragonborn in lore could only be felled by one of three scenarios, a dragon, another dragonborn, or an army or more, I forget the exact numbers required to kill one.
I'm sorry, it's not often that I outright dislike a story but when I do I refer to the scorched earth policy of Exterminatus. Your best bet with this story is to take the core concepts, which are actually quite decent, and rewrite this from scratch... I would suggest you adhere to the episodic structure you were emulating while actively avoiding walls of text with an indent here and there.
Overall the story has a plot worth expanding on and a diamond in the rough style, that's a real glimmer of salvation coming from me, it's really brimming with inert potential spattering over the rim of acknowledgement. I find this story interesting but impossible to read, with any form of satisfactory flow to the sentence structure and grammar grossly derelict.
I do not wish to be harsh, creativity is to be praised not shunned but I could not seem to hold my tongue for once. I hope you are able to utilize this story to improve yourself to a greater degree as a novelist. I look on eagerly to your future writings as I have full faith that you will look and see that my words are merely meant as constructive criticism and a genteel challenge for you to take in the most positive light.
Shadowmugen.