The Mechanical Gardens

by Ponyess

Just an Episode of Yet another Mare: 1 (1)

Author's Note:

Mechanic Mare's POV

Being an Earth Pony is no different; from being a Unicorn or Pegasus; just as there is no real difference between being the mare, or the stallion. You are, what you were born to be. You merely play the part; dished out to you, by forces we have little to no control over. I am no different; than any other Pony.

I have a job, doing what I am good at. I make mechanical critters and companions; as decoration, toys, pets and companions. I love my work; knowing Ponies are loving me, for what I do for them. I feel needed, merely because I am good at what I do; while I guess I am a fairly rare Pony, with this type of profession. No real difference to me, though.

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Personally, I prefer to go up early, by Celestia’s first light. There is but the reason, I am the early Pony. I am not going to parties and staying up all night.

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I have no mechanical gizmo to wake me up, and I don’t need to see the sun to know when it is time either. I just know when it is time, simple as that. I guess you could blame magic, if you please, not that it would bother me.

I just fold the quilt up against the wall, and slide my hooves off of the bed and rise to my hooves; before I fold the quilt back. By now, I am up and fully awake.

I am an Earth Pony, true and through; I am proud of it, mainly because it is what I had been born to be. No point in shame, or excessive pride, there. I live the life as the Earth Pony I am, simple as that.

Trotting to the door, opening it by turning a knob, and closing it behind me; before trotting on to the kitchen.

No undue haste, but I don’t pull my hooves lazily after myself either. I merely permit the time to flow as it always has, and always will.

For me, a glass of juice is a good start, but an apple, vegetables and a few muffins would always complete the meal. As A Pony, I am a slow eater; but I can enjoy a good, and steady meal.

Work is my choice, something I enjoy doing. If it pleases you to pay for what I do, I am just all the more happy for you; although I do need the bits you push up on my counter. I need the food, and I do need the new parts; in order to keep my business going.

I have all the tools I need; which includes an artificial horn, a set of wings, screwdrivers and a few other items that goes with the trade.

As opposed to a certain other Earth pony with a pink coat, and a tightly curled up deep pink mane; I can never learn to fly or manipulate things with my mane or tail; like she is known to do.

Once in the mechanic theatre, I spend a few hours here, mainly crafting various items, but also speaking to and conversing with Ponies who choose to come by.

I have my lunch, which I do enjoy Royally; even if I commonly am alone. The meal is mainly the same as the breakfast, but I seriously do need a refuel, in order to stay alert and active all day.

From here, I return to my business. Although this is the time of day, when I do go out, shopping for items I may need; including tools, food and materials for my work.

After dinner; it is too late to go out and hit the market, so I spend it at home, or with a friend or the other.

Naturally, my day ends as the sun goes down, and Luna is raising her beautiful moon; signaling the event.

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Donning the horn or wings is easy, at least it is to me. Not to forget, I have done this innumerable times. I stopped count years ago.

Yet, I still do recall the first thrill of the surge of the magic, as I first donned the tiara the horn is attached on. I still do feel the surge, and it is still exciting to use it. It just isn’t quite the thrill it was, when I was new to it.

If I wanted to, I could don the wings any day, for any reason. I could be joining the Pegasi in the sky, soaring all day, if it had been my thing, but there never was a call to me. I may enjoy wearing them, and the air under my wings, but that is the end of it, a useful item, for when I do need it. Of course, I do deliver to Clouds dale, on rare occasion as well. It is fun, but just fun and nothing more. It pays the bills, of course.

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I do perform hard work, requiring the application of force; just as much as I am doing delicate work. It is all depending on the specific item I am working on, at the time.

I can craft a miniature, or build a heavy-duty application. Sometimes, this may even happen on the same day; but I don’t complain. As a matter of fact, I do find it amusing or fun.

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On the weekend, or the day off; I love going to the Sugar-Cube Corner. Pinkie pie is commonly there, and permits me to chat away. Otherwise, I see Mr’s Dazzle Cake, or Mr. Carrot Cake; When Pinkie Pie isn’t available. I still do enjoy spending a moment, chatting with either of the two. I just prefer Pinkie Pie’s exuberant enthusiastic manners and antics.

In the end, I trot out into the café; and wait for the pastry, and juice to arrive at the table; where I quietly enjoy a pleasant meal.

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Naturally, I do see Rarity at the Carousel Boutique, any and every time I need to buy something to wear; whether it is for private, or business use. Besides, I do enjoy seeing her, and talk to her; when I have the opportunity, and she has the time.

Last time I was at her place, I had been served a special surprise. It isn’t so much in Sweetie Bell being there; I do see her, both on town and when I see Rarity, when I buy something to wear.

The shock is that she apparently had found her place, and received her mark. The three coloured shield, but with a five sides star with a note on it.

Naturally, I was congratulating her; anything less would have been rude, even when I am not in her age, or her closest friend.

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Comments

[JFalk]

Interesting. But can she use her artificial horn and wings at the same time? Because it would make her an artificial Alicorn!
Just one or the other could be a major game changer!

[Ponyess]

6705327 Technically speaking, that may be possible.

Yet, I don't see why she would ever try it.

I imagine it would be like trying to handle multiple items at once, with each and every task you add, you run increasing risk of not only screwing up, but seriously injuring yourself.

From the practical standpoint, she could levitate a small number of tools, and herself, or pick up the wings when she need actual flight. She has no real use of the tandem.

On that note, it would require that she had actual control of her Earth Magic at the same time. She is nowhere near that level.

This mare is a mechanic, first and foremost.

[The Hat Man]

I actually could not complete reading this. It needs some proofing and the way it is written is pretty distracting. The main issue is that the main character/narrator relies on way too many commas. The story feels like it's being dragged out with constant asides and pauses that just do not need to be there. It doesn't sound confident and it sounds like we're being bombarded with asides. For example:

Being an Earth Pony is no different; from being a Unicorn or Pegasus; just as there is no real difference between being the mare, or the stallion. You are, what you were born to be. You merely play the part; dished out to you, by forces we have little to no control over. I am no different; than any other Pony.
I have a job, doing what I am good at. I make mechanical critters and companions; as decoration, toys, pets and companions. I love my work; knowing Ponies are loving me, for what I do for them. I feel needed, merely because I am good at what I do; while I guess I am a fairly rare Pony, with this type of profession. No real difference to me, though.

Two paragraphs and a whopping TWELVE commas (and semicolons) that just do not need to be there. Granted, some of them should be there and, strangely enough, you don't seem to use the Oxford comma in lists. Not to mention that it's a little repetitive and some of the grammar needs work.

Let's try that again, rewritten:

Being an Earth Pony is no different from being a Unicorn or Pegasus. Just as there is no real difference between being a mare or being a stallion. You are what you were born to be. You merely play the part dished out to you by forces you have little to no control over. I am no different from any other Pony.
I have a job doing what I am good at. I make mechanical critters as decoration, toys, pets, or even companions. I love my work and knowing that ponies love me for what I do for them. I feel needed merely because I am good at what I do. I guess I am a fairly rare pony, with this type of profession, but it makes no real difference to me.

Look at how much smoother that is! The sentences flow together, there are no unnecessary pauses, and we still get the information about the character and a sense of what sort of pony he is. You might want to consider an editor (I can't, unfortunately, as I have other obligations) or at least consider some of the choices you're making for this story.

Good luck!