The Running Gag
The nobles of Canterlot were rather shocked - and to a certain degree offended - when Celestia announced shortly after raising the sun the next morning that Day Court would be cancelled for the foreseeable future. The moment the announcement had spread, Prince Blueblood had rushed to his aunt's side to demand explanation. "Princess Celestia, you can't be serious!" he proclaimed as the Princess of the Day joined her sister in a sky chariot, guards from both their divisions charged to pull them to Ponyville before the sun was fully visible in the sky above that lovely town. "What possible reason could you have for cancelling Day Court without explanation?"
"It's personal, Blueblood," Celestia scolded. "I don't have to explain beyond that."
"But...but what am I supposed to tell the nobles?" Blueblood begged, desperate to - if not make Celestia see reason - then to get a rational explanation out of her.
Celestia, however, was having none of it. She had worried nearly as much over Spike's absence as Twilight and her friends had. She was quite fond of the young dragon, and - knowing how long dragons tended to live in comparison to ponies - had been counting rather heavily on Spike's friendship to fill the void for her when mortality eventually claimed their shared friends. Now that Luna had informed her that he had returned, nothing was going to stand in the way of checking in on him, and sharing her former students joy in the reunion. As such, she glowered down at Blueblood and stated quite coldly, "Tell them to stick it," before slamming the door of the chariot in his face. The guards immediately took to the sky, dragging the chariot after them on the way to Ponyville.
Luna let out a low whistle of surprise. "I ne'er thought to see this side of you again, dear sister," she murmured appreciatively. "Tis good to see that eons of politicking have not completely robbed you of your spine in personal matters."
"Oh hush, Lula," Celestia countered, her face stern. However, she wasn't able to maintain it, and before long burst into giggles. "I've been wanting to do something like that for so long!"
"Then it was well overdue," Luna assured her, smiling.
Celestia sighed in relief. "Now then...you were saying something about Spike being different? I'm afraid I didn't quite catch it all."
Luna nodded. "Well, I am unsure I understand it all myself...but apparently, he was displaced in time as well as space, and lifespan as well. He found his way to somewhere else in reality where he was raised to maturity by an alien being. I...didn't quite catch it all."
Celestia, much to Luna's surprise, groaned in frustration. "Oh great, one of those..."
"Tia? Thou art familiar with such things?" While Luna had mostly left Olde speech behind, she slipped into it on occasion due to excitement, stress, exhaustion, or a desire to be cute.
"In concept only," Celestia groaned. "A unicorn of Ponyville - a Miss Lyra Heartstrings - is a rather large fan of the 'My Little Human' franchise, and after Twilight went to the human alternate world and discovered they had a show called 'My Little Pony', she started getting a little too excited about the parallels."
"Oh dear," Luna murmured. "What happened?"
"She wrote a fanfic called My Little Dashie where Rainbow Dash wound up being raised in the human world by someone who knew about our world through a TV show manifestation," Celestia explained. "It became so popular, I was asked to pen my thoughts on the subject." Celestia fell silent.
"Sister? What did you say?" Luna asked worriedly.
"I found the science of the magic involved a tad unrealistic, but other than that, the only thing that stood out to me was how I was characterized in the final chapter, when Twilight, her friends, and I arrived to bring Rainbow home." Celestia groaned. "I haven't heard the end of that story since..."
"I see," Luna replied. "Well, Spike did not return alone. The one who raised him returned with him."
"So not only do I need to embrace Spike warmly to welcome him home, I also have to balance familial welcome with diplomatic behavior for first contact with an alien species?" Celestia asked in disbelief. "You certainly know how to drop unpleasant surprises, Luna."
"Fear not," Luna hastened to reassure her. "From what I understand, the new parental figure is a warrior woman with little patience for such diplomatic formalities. We should instead use the diplomatic approach we used back when we first took the throne."
Celestia smirked. "Oh, so I should challenge her to a hoof wrestle and a drinking contest?"
Luna chuckled. "From what I saw in Twilight's dreams, she lacks hooves, but I believe she will appreciate casual familiarity over formal diplomacy. She is kin to Spike. Spike is kin to Twilight. As a Princess, Twilight is kin to us. We should simply treat her as a family member we have not met yet."
Celestia smiled softly. "I suppose that would be more comfortable all around."
"Besides," Luna pointed out wickedly, "I intend to challenge her to the drinking contest."
"Oh, you!" Celestia chuckled, giving her sister a playful nudge and an affectionate nuzzle, which were eagerly returned. "So, what does this say for how different Spike is?"
Luna smiled mysteriously. "I would rather keep that as a surprise, dear sister. I want to see your face on first sight. However, all I will say...he is most definitely not a baby dragon anymore..."
"Goodness!" Celestia replied, her eyes widening as the chariot landed before the Crystal Tree Castle. "I wonder how Twilight is handling that."
"Better than last night, with luck," Luna replied as they disembarked the chariot and entered the Castle through the open doors.
The two Princesses found the six friends, Spike, and an armored stranger gathered around the breakfast table, though their eyes were drawn immediately to Pinkie Pie standing over Twilight with a strange light in her eye. "Say woof, Twilight!" she shouted.
"W-what?" Twilight asked in shock.
"Not what, woof!" Pinkie corrected. "Everyone else has already said it! Fluttershy, Rarity, and I said it when he first showed up! Sunset and the entire school said it through the mirror! Rainbow said it during their flying competition-"
"Now wait a minute!" Rainbow complained.
"And Applejack said it when you were sleeping in Spike's coils!" Pinkie finished.
Applejack blushed brightly, pulling her hat down over her head as many of the other mares turned to stare.
Celestia, meanwhile, was distracted by the mention of 'coils', and turned her eyes to Spike. She found him, but if not for his color scheme and kind eyes, she would not have recognized him. He was the same size as her now - maybe a little taller - and definitely more well fleshed out. Between the way his muscles rippled under his scales, the way his scales shone only slightly less brightly than his armor, and the wisdom and experience visible in his eyes and battle scarred face...
"...woof," she whispered.
"Woof, indeed," Luna agreed, licking her lips.
"See? See?" Pinkie Pie demanded. "Even the Princesses said it! Say woof, Twilight! Say it!"
"B-but he's my son!" Twilight complained.
"What's that got to do with being doggies?" Pinkie demanded angrily.
Celestia, Luna, Rainbow Dash, and Samus all burst into laughter at that statement.
"What'd I say?" Pinkie demanded as Celestia and Luna took places made for them at the table. Spike, meanwhile, began serving a heaping breakfast of his famous dragon waffles. Celestia chose not to question how he still knew how to make them. She settled instead for enjoying them.
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Woof... the joke that never gets old...
I so should have seen that joke coming.
woman
Congratulations, Pinkie Pie has made this the official running gag.
Great, now he has to beat mares off with-... um, a stick.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Kheeheehee, guess Spike's got the whole kingdom barking mad now, eh?
....I'll let myself out.
Seeing the chapter title brings this to mind:
6000481 woof~
Great chapter. I think you are doing a great job with this story. Good luck with the next chapter.
So Lyra made My Little Dashie? NOW WE HAVE SOMEONE TO BLAME FOR THE FEELS!!!
6000502 I will never get tired of this.
I regret nothing.
could it be that all the girls are barking up the wrong tree?
Woah! Down girls!
Hey, who let the dogs--(*shot*)
Just had an idea: celestial raised In the 40k universe, maybe by pre- heresy Horus! ... Then again, you probably don't know a thing about 40k... :(
6000888
All I know about it is from its use in RainbowBob's "Celestia Uses an Online Dating Website" fic...and from that I know I don't like it.
I find characterizing Twilight as Spike's mother figure is jarring because of this scene:
And this exchange.
6000532 everypony wins
6000555 lol, i love those gags!
6000900 ...yup, that's how the inquisition works... The only dislike able thing in the lore of the imperium of mankind...
I approve of this method!
Nice chapter, especially Celestia telling the nobles to shove it. I can't wait to see how Celestia and Luna interact with Samus and Spike.
6001087
That was fun.
Noooooooo now i have to wait for the next update!!!
6000905 yeah I will have to agree with you there, I have never liked the idea of Twilight as Spike's mother.
I find the age gab between the two of them to small to consider them as mother and son. (and a bunch of other reasons I wont get in too.)
but I still enjoy this story regardless of what I think. . . and considering that I usually try my best to avoid anything with Twilight being Spike's mother, that is saying something let me tell you.
6000900 I am disappointed in you.
Funny!
6001173
I should have mentioned that there's a fair amount of stuff here that would normally cause me to abandon a fic, but it's just too damn good. Unless the author really screws up, I can't really justify leaving.
6001328
Spike: No... That's not true! That's impossible!
Twilight: Search your feelings, you know it-
Spike: No, I mean it's literally impossible. I mean, we're not even in the same class. I'm a reptile and you're a mammal.
Twilight: ...I was speaking metaphorically.
Spike: NOOOOOO, NOOO!
6000532
He's have to go and fetch one first.
--Spade
Ah innocent Pinkie.
I'm with Pinkie on this one.
Pinkies Reaction tho!!
Well, Samus has a BIG family now. Wait until she meets Shining and Cadence!
6002646
A what story?
Thank you! Was worth the wait. Not only, Celestia and Luna's, reaction- Luna's being the hottest - but everyone else, and Pinkie being in the dark about the real meaning!
Love this whole chapter. 10/10!
Keep them coming!
6000905 I agree there, but some stories and authors make it work. And that's what we have here, so let's just enjoy it for what it is!
A fun and interesting story!
6000900 Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory, AND Fall of Equestria COMBINED... is still a bright, shiny paradise of love, hope, and compassion compared to WH40K.
Edit: And for the most part the first 2 are better written.
Edit 2: With the notable exception of the Caspius Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!, series. Because its pretty much the only part of WH40K that doesn't take it self seriously.
6003494
The fantasy version isn't any brighter, just confined to one world and gunpowder era tech. Of course Warhammer Fantasy Empire has to deal with mutant rats as well as chaos mutants, desert undead, orks and blood suckers on a regular basis. The planet's elves are no better than their space dwelling kin either. Ruddy gits.
6002849 Can you put a link to the old cover image in the description?
6000555 Thanks for the nostalgia
Oh, Pinkie
6003828
What old cover art?
6003854 I'm pretty sure I saw this story with a cover art where Metroid was side to side with spike.
Was there more than one old cover art? If that's the case would it be possible for you to link all of them?
6003551 Which is why Caspius Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!, is the only decent thing from anything Warhammer. It's still one massive crapsack universe, but at least Caspius Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!, is a decent human being. Even if he is a dirty coward who technically should have been shot for treason, cowardice, and heresy a dozen times over. It's one of the few, if not the only, things from the setting that has any hope at all. It also helps that it's a VERY tongue in cheek writing style, giving it a sense of humor completely lacking from the rest of Warhammer.
6004254
This is the only cover art this story ever had.
Go to 4:13 for the relevant part.
6004423 are you absolutely sure about that? I mean why else is my brain telling me that there was a Metroid in this story cover art maybe using Antro spike in a night backround...
Can you swear to me this story has never had any other cover art?
~Leonzilla
6005374
Absolutely.
6006168 jinx
Then something must be wrong with me.
Either that or I just dreamed the whole thing.
~Leonzilla
Urg, sorry, Pinkie is not a kid, she's childish, there's a difference.
Just grates me a little to see she is actually naive in this instance.
Other than that, Celestia! Being oh so awesome!
6008077
And here's where interpretation causes issues.
You interpret this as Pinkie not realizing what "...woof" means.
I interpret it as Pinkie knowing pretending not to know would get laughs.
Which of us is more entertained?