21 End
I opened my eyes...
I was blinded by the light...
I was in bed. The sun was shining through the window. Luna lay next to my feet.
I carefully used my hand to examine my chest. I couldn't feel anything unusual there, much better than the giant hole there was before.
Luna woke up by my little movements.
"I must be dead. I can see a beautiful angel.", I said smiling.
"I don't know what an angel is, but I take beautiful.", she responded. "I'm so happy your awake again."
"How much time has passed?"
"Three days, magic channeled through your mind has only a fraction of the power a normal spell would have, me and Tia had to cast spells for hours to keep you alive."
"Is Nightmare really gone?", I asked.
"No more voices or things I have to fight against, I feel free for the first time.", she smiled and looked so peaceful.
Then she looked nervous all the sudden.
"Everything ok?", I asked her.
She nodded and took a deep breath. She looked me straight in the eyes and said: "I want to marry you and spend the rest of our life together."
I was speechless.
"I... I... are you sure, we never even had a successful date together."
She had tears in her eyes.
"I am sure you fool, and this is not an acceptable answer to a proposal."
Tears came to my eyes too.
"Of course I want to marry you, there is nothing I ever wanted more."
She came close and kissed me with passion, hugging me hard.
After some moments she just laid her head on my shoulder and we stayed in this embrace for minutes.
"And someday maybe have a family.", she whispered in my ear.
"Wow, this is possible?", I asked back.
She kissed me.
"There is a spell we use for couples of different races. The baby's get characteristics from both parents, but the race is the one of the mother. And since I now know a way to bypass your ability..."
I cried some more.
"We will be a great family. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
We announced our wedding plans the same day.
---------
You can find the sequel "Know your enemy" here: Know your enemy
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SEQUEL!!!
7217214 I was hoping someone of you wanted to continue... Maybe if I have some of my other projects completed.
This has been a really enjoyable story to read.
sequel?
7217678 So ... That's a maybe?
7217746 yes, it is
7217756 Good enough.
7217894 I may have already an idea for the first three chapters of a sequel...
stupid brain can´t relax
7224684 *squees internally*
7226058 Right. "You look like 999 years top" *duck*
Very good flow. I really liked this book
7306707 Thanks a lot for these nice words
I was hoping Nightmare Moon would come through, but nnnnooooo~. Why couldn't she she just give up on evil deeds?!
7309996 maybe you find something evil to love in the sequel ;-)
7310309
Well I was hoping that Nightmare Moon would have some feelings for Alex and not go "I will kill you" way.
Oh and I am already up to date with the sequel, I Love Luna/Chrysalis a lot.
7391998 like we all do on our darkest days... (evil laugh)
7530435 if you stop reading after the first chapter it is :-) The first chapter is only 1,4% of the story.
What do you mean exactly? If the whole story is to short for you, happy you there is a sequel ;-)
7574065 I guess no one of us has died before, so we have a huge range for speculation for this instant... and no one said this was a "normal" death by what has happened after this. Maybe it was some magic spillover from Equestria.
7580179
My dad was legally dead for something like 3 minutes before (nearly bled out after a car crash), and he's explained pretty much every sensation immediately after the incident.
It's not beautiful in any way, it's painful, frightening, and in the end your vision just kinda tunnels in and powers down in slow-motion like turning off an old tube television.
When his higher brain functions shut down (like in a deep coma) he was simply nonexistent.
No concept of time, no sensations, no "light at the end of the tunnel", no out-of-body experience, just... nothing.
Like recording your entire day for 24 hours, and then snipping a 1 hour section out of the middle.
When he woke up, it felt instantaneous.
One moment his eyes were closing and everything was tunneling in (no doubt as his brain no longer had the oxygen to keep his vision functioning so it shut down the visual cortex to conserve oxygen), the next he remembers fluttering his eyes a little after a chest pain (which turned out to be them reviving him), and after that it was just a ton of that blank grogginess you feel when you're exceptionally tired like having literally gone three days without sleep (this was a light coma at the start, then just drug induced sleep to give him a better chance of recovery) ending with finally opening his eyes in a hospital bed about 3 weeks after the crash.
The Prestige (2006 movie) hit the nail right on the head.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0482571/quotes?item=qt0441563
7598628 Thanks for sharing this with us. Of course my story about talking ponies doesn´t try to be scientific correct.
7627703 Thanks, I found it was necessary because I got a lot of complaints about out-of-character-Luna in chapter two before the knew why she was that way in the next chapter.
Excellent story. I'm off to read the sequel.
7843404 thanks a lot. I'm curious how you like the sequel. Have you read "for science" first?
7843696
I just finished the sequel and I enjoyed it as well. I have not read "For Science" yet though.
7844133 Well, "for Science" isn't finished yet I don't know if you are reading incomplete stories. I'm adding two to three chapters a week.
7968458 Wow, that would have been very gruesome
but effective 
7968628 This comment is out of my non-native speaking understanding...
You mean it is more like a standard day for her?
8002221 really really bad... but there are lots of opportunities in the further story for more fuck ups
8017477 I know right
*Stomps hooves on the ground* Bravo! Bravo! Drinks all around!
8475804
I'm happy you liked it
Okay...
So, I don't really have terrible issues with any particular part of the story - while this may sound weird, the reason why is very simple. I do have a massive issue with how this story is, basically, a string of clichés strung together using poorly-applied glue. I can't have an issue with the story, because there basically isn't any.
The writing goes from good to atrocious at the drop of a hat. The characters are bland, and it's fairly clear that any enemies introduced exist solely to push the romance angle forward - they are dispatched shortly afterwards, don't get motivations, and generally just fall flat on their faces. I mean, I can fill in the gaps with my imagination, but there's only so much I'm willing to excuse.
This story could be interesting, for sure, but what exists today is an outline at best. It doesn't need a rewrite, or even editing - it needs to be written in the first place.
9990170
The world is full of mysteries and incorrect grammar, that's one such example.
10079693
All the same, I'd still object to - or refuse - such treatment. I mean, come on - when you're poking your prisoners, it's clear (usually) as to why they're being treated that way. In this particular case? Not so much. Add to that the fact that this is a complete unknown... If it were me, and I was in any position to retaliate (for instance, if I were a Displaced in this scenario), I might just take that option...
In short, and the point I'm trying to make, is that it's not only behaviour unbecoming of a royal guard, it's also supremely stupid as actions go. A guard should be firm, but respectful - you never know who you may end up having to working with, or fighting against.
Blunt end or no, this shouldn't have happened in the first place.
Hmmm this was alright if a little rushed overall but done well enough to not kill the want to read the story. Good job!