A journey to Istanhoof, in a train, is interrupted by deadly snowdrifts. Could it be an attack of the terrifying snow weasels, sealing their victims in a mysterious time bubble? This short, complete fic was written in three hours flat to comply with the rules of the tryout for the upcoming ponychan-FIMchan fic battle. Tied for first place with Vanner! Contains the phrase, "Thou mad pink wretch". No refunds will be given for flinging of laptops or other computer equipment at the end.
Chapters (1)
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH
What you have done here is not okay. Pinkie's last line is... listen, there's such a thing as stretching the language a little too far. You owe me a new desk - mine has a deep, head-shaped dent in it now.
P.S. 4 stars.
Dude, I'm giving you 4 stars for the title alone, Doom of The Snow Weasels is the greatest title for anything in the history of ever. PUT THAT FUCKING SHIT ON A T-SHIRT, BAND NAME, MOVIE POSTER, WHATEVER, SON!!! and I'm being serious no sarcasm intended.
It sounds like a B-Movie from the 50's or the title of an episode of the Outer Limits.
oh, and the story was okay, while it wasn't my cup of tea, it was however well written, and moved along at a nice pace.
Peace out.
I thought I recognized the author when this came up. That ever so slightly saucy Pinkie...
Out of curiosity, where did you get that style of dialog punctuation? It's not obtrusive at all, yet it's different and unmistakable now that I look for it.
60550
and fight off ellipsis, but it's because I'm hearing the way the lines are delivered and need to have pauses and hesitations in the right spots. I'm glad it's not too obtrusive for you because if it was that would be a bit of a problem.
Not sure. I have to beat dashes into submission
Well, not only that, but also ending dialog on periods instead of commas.
Oh, that? That's just wrong and I have to stop
You mean stuff like
"I ended with a period and not a comma." said Dash.
It's just wrong. I'm not sure if I want to revise contest fics, though, because part of what they ARE is 'I did this in the allotted time, just like that' and apart from my shaaaaame it's damn clean copy for unedited. All the more reason to address it!
Really? As long as you're consistent with it, it's actually quite nice. It's certainly not any less readable, and if I could just buck tradition and punctuate the way I want:
- "Well," said Dash "There's one tiny little problem."
(1 space before, 1 after)
- "It's very technical." said Dash "You have to get the clouds set up just right."
(1, 2)
Mix in action, and I'd use periods and commas like standard style:
- "Well," said Dash, shuffling her wings, "There's one tiny little problem."
- "It's very technical." said Dash. She pointed to a chart covered in arcane weatherpony jargon. "You have to get the clouds set up just right."
or > Dash, pointing
But, of course, that's gonna get a "learn to write, dumbass" out of anyone who knows just enough to be dangerous.
And I 100% agree about not revising competition pieces.
There's a mechanical reason for me to go along with standard practice.
The comma leads into the 'say' verb (whatever it might be)- putting in a period says 'this is a sentence fragment, what follows is NOT a 'say' verb but another frag'. It does make sense. I'm going to try to learn to do it the right way.
“Uh, honey... y’all trying to strip us all the nakedest ever, or somethin’?”
“That’s just a bonus!”
just one of many gems. Though I'll have to spend some time thinking about the punchline. As a non-native speaker, I have no idea what the gag is.
Oh man, I remember this from the writeoff! :D It was the best!
OH Celestia. That pun.
My ribs hurts. Do you know how hard it is not to laugh at work ? ow ow ow
If there was an organ in the body responsible for dealing with puns, mine would have just ruptured..
I don't even...
That was...interesting? I think I liked it?
Fffffffffffffffffffffffff.
Like a left hand punch, I didn't see that coming.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Dammit, blindsided again.