The Children (Enemies) of the Mane Six

by Stardom Freedom

The Elements of Harmony

After the event, the ponies were sent to the Royal Palace in Canterlot. They were standing right in front of Princesses Luna and Celestia.

Celestia chuckled. “I knew you six could do it,”

“What do you mean?” Cider inquired.

“It means that you all accomplished something great. In fact, Luna and I have a surprise for you.” Celestia explained.

“Surprise? I love surprises!” Sugar exclaimed.

“Well then, here they are,” Luna said, opening a chest of necklaces and a tiara.

“Well, Heavens to Betsy! I haven’t seen those in a long time!” Applejack exclaimed.

Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy nodded in agreement.

“What are they?” Harmony asked.

“The Elements of Harmony. Your mothers represented them before you, and they vowed to give them to their children once they did something heroic.” Celestia explained.

“And you just did that heroic thing,” Luna added.

“Colorful Dash, your mother represented the Element of Loyalty, so you will now. Congratulations.” Celestia said, putting a necklace with a jeweled lightning bolt on it around Colorful’s neck.

“Sugar Pie, your mother represented the Element of Laughter, and now you do,” Luna said, putting a necklace with a jeweled balloon on it around her neck.

“Diamond Pants, your mother represented the Element of Generosity, so here is your Element,” Celestia put a necklace around her neck, a jeweled diamond on it.

“Cider, your mother represented Honesty, so you will,” Luna said. A necklace with a jeweled in apple on it was put around her neck.

“Harmony, you will represent Kindness, because your mother did,” Celestia said, putting a necklace with a jeweled in butterfly on her neck.

“And, Princess Firework Sparkle, it’s time to revoke the phony crown atop your head and replace it with this real one, the Element of Magic,” Luna took off Firework’s old crown and put a beautiful yellow tiara with a jeweled star in it on Firework’s head.

Rainbow, Soarin, Fluttershy, Bashful, Pinkie, Cheese, Applejack, Pear, Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Cheerilee, Joy, Fancy Pants, Rarity, Twilight, and Flash shed some tears. They each embraced their child.

From then on, the six were friends, and promised that when they had children, they would pass down their Elements, and their children would to their children, and so on.

Author's Note:

This story is officially over!

I'm going to be starting a new story called Rainbow Dash's Parents. It'll be about Rainbow's father and mother, and why we don't see her mother in the episodes (for those of you that don't know, Rainbow's father had a cameo in Games Ponies Play)

And before you start asking, "How come the chapters are instantly updated?" My answer is because some of my stories are pre-written (this one included) and I already knew what to write.

Comments

[VitalSpark]

This story has potential, but you need to put more into it.

Firstly, the first six chapters are basically each the same thing. It would be nice to see a bit more of them at home, interacting with their parents and others, to learn what makes each of these characters unique and different. Don't make Dash's daughter a clone of Rainbow Dash, Twilight's daughter a clone of Twilight Sparkle, etc. While they certainly will have each inherited some of their mothers' characteristics, they'll also take after their fathers in some ways. Plus they'll have their own little unique strengths and weaknesses which may turn out to help or hinder them in later chapters.

You could have given them some more interesting backstories too. They all just seem to live with their parents, in little identical nuclear family units. How about mixing things up a bit? Maybe Rarity and Fancy Pants had a relationship, and although they loved each other, she could never bring herself to leave Ponyville, and he would never leave Canterlot, so they eventually broke up, but remain on good terms. Their daughter only sees Fancy Pants during school holidays. Maybe Harmony isn't Fluttershy's biological daughter, but is really her niece that she took in after Harmony's parents died?

You didn't really delve much into why the six girls are all enemies. Their parents are such good friends, that they would have grown up together, and that alone is usually pretty good cement for a good friendship to have developed between the daughters. Perhaps something happened that tore their friendship apart a few years ago? And maybe they're not all enemies. Maybe two of them are still good friends? And maybe two others, while not friends, have enough respect for each other that they're prepared to unite against the others. Even-matched six-sided battles are less interesting than three-against-one-while-the-other-two-sit-on-the-side.

Cocoon doesn't really seem to have much of a motive, and doesn't have much of a character. Maybe it's just me, but I really think she should be a delicious, evil, sexy, changeling princess.
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And lastly, the spell at the end is too deus ex machina. It just seems like an idea you've come up with to quickly resolve the story. You could have had a lot more conflict and adventure, but you cut out early.

Despite all that, I am upvoting the story, because I like the overall idea.

[Stardom Freedom]

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Why is that so?