• Member Since 25th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen January 30th

Stardom Freedom


just kind of here, i guess.

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Fluttershy and Bashful are a merry couple, and they have three daughters, and two of them are twins! Fluttershy loves it, and doesn't want her happy life to end.

But then, Bashful begins acting awkward around her and their children, but why? She'll learn soon enough.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

NO FLUTTERs BELONGS WITH TWILIGHT!!!!!! :twilightsmile: + :yay:

can you write another chapter

6454024
Actually, it's a one-shot. Sorry! :fluttershyouch:

6452001
6452003
6452006
Um... may I ask what that has to do with my fic?

im saying my shippings that is what that is it was a good story though im just saying my opinion on shipping:pinkiehappy:

6458601
Oh, okay!

By the way, it would be REALLY helpful if you used the reply button. It's the button that looks like this: <<

It's on every comment space. Just giving you advice. :pinkiehappy:

6459076 Thanks!! I'm new to this and still figuring out how everything works but I'll do that from now on, Good luck with your stories!!:twilightsmile:

6459451
I knew that while I was writing the fic. I was trying to find a way to make it unpredictable, but I couldn't.

This is great! I like the theme and the story. I look forward for more

Story wise this was a cute Fic! :yay:

Pacing is another story though.

A good chunk of this fic had a rushed feeling to it.

While the rest was speed detailed which is a way of writing, most true for one shots!

In the future you might want to try building some scenes out more, add a few simple details about the background, ponies etc- take it slow and enjoy the smell of the roses.

Other than Pacing story wise I enjoyed the fic!- It was cute and charming.- because I'm not too perfect grammar wise I will not even review based on that I just give tips on how to improve with story telling.

Pacing- 7 out of 10.
Plot- 7 out of 10.
Story- 8 out of 10.
Detail- 7 out of 10- it was there but more as just a place holder.
Characterization.- 9 out of 10.- You wrote each character well and colorful- Kudos!!!!

Over all I give this fic... 8 out of 10- Good not perfect, Colorful characters and nice detail but Snappy pace knocks you in and out of the story at times.- Hoofed up! and fav'd.:heart:

6542561
Thanks for the criticism! And the fave! :pinkiehappy:

This is a clever idea, but I really can't see it working. The ending most of all. Realizing that your husband is really a completely different pony (especially one of your closest friends) is quite the shock. I don't think Fluttershy would have been that accepting. She might have even been angry! And the kids, I think they would be a bit hesitant too. Imagine if your dad turned out to be a different person all of he sudden! Sorry if I sounded a bit mean. Just trying to give good critism! But anyway, I think you have a lot of potential if you maybe put yourself in your character' shoes. Just think how you would react if you were in that situation. You have very creative ideas, and I hope to see another story from you soon!

6782917
That wasn't mean, you gave me good and helpful constructive criticism. I'm not the world's best writer (I'm kinda crappy at it, I really just write for fun), so I need it.

Thanks for the advice, and I'll be sure to follow it in the future!

6872849
Thanks for the fave! Also, which Fluttershy ship do you like, may I ask?

Hearing the name 'Bashful' made me think of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

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