A Body for Two

by Daxn

Announcment + Ending

Author's Note:

With great regret, I have to announce that this story is officially Cancelled due to a variety of factors.

One of them is a recent change in the site rules that forbids certain contenent to be linked (even in a broken way) off-site and that can't be posted here, thusly destroying a good chunck of story that I had planned to publish.

Next is the fact that I haven't thought this up too much. Sure, the concept was interesting, but... where was I going from there? I kidna trapped myself once I had established that Luisa could not contradict Diamond, least she is sent in Hell afterwards. The conflict proposes would not entince many, not it would last more than a few scenes. Oh, sure I could play aroudn the fact that Diamond was goign to try Discord, having Discord accept to help, but Luisa declinign because Filiberto told her that trying it would be akin to force Diamond Tiara to rob a store clear and kill the shopkeeper and all his relatives or something; but, beyond that? There wasn't much else to tell

The last one is the ending (that I'm going to show below, because I'm not gonna let it go to waste after the work I've put in) and how the story was planned in general. I wanted to go astray from the usual devices of the endings of this kind of stories, by using a character usually used as a minor villain. The problem is, it was a series of contrived coincidences that I could not justify decently, and at the same time begin a little too stubborn to change it.

With this said, enjoy this partial ending made for a never-completed story.

WARNING: Gore.

I walk and walk and walk, the marble hallways covered in carpets and paintings getting a bit repetitive to look at.

Couldn't Blueblood have built his private temple a little bit closer to the bedrooms? I don't say anything, or else I won't go to Heaven, as Diamond Tiara, following Blueblood and the old stallion in white robe with golden hems to a door at the ground floor.

"Let me open it for you, Venerable," Blueblood says, as he pushed the knob down and pulled the door inwards, the old pony croacking something as he walks inside the room. Me and Diamond also walk in the room, which is dark, excluding a flame burning in the middle, a bit cold and, with all those shapes in the darkness created by the flame, looking quite scary. Diamond Tiara, begin apparently a little braver than me, moves our head around to look at a couple of broken windows or at a column with a pile of trash nearby.

"Um, interesting. So, that's how a fire temple looks,"

Blueblood turns around, while the old pony walks to the flame.

"Actually, this isn't a Fire Temple, more of a Fire Chapel. I would be ashamed to set alight the Flame of Victory inside here."

Diamond Tiara makes both of us nod. I resist my temptation to move my body around, fearing it might harm me later on. Meanwhile, the old stallion slowly walks towards the flae, then turns around and gestures for me to come over there.

Diamodn Tiara and I move ourselves there, then stand still, as the stlalion then knels next to the flame, before he starts to chan something in an unknown language. I can only hear a phrase begin repeated often, it begin "Ashem vohou."

The old stallion turns around towards me and tiara, gesturing with hir left hoof and speaking in the same langauge.

This thigns goes on and on, the old pony walking in circles around us. I wish to slump down and sleep, but I know thsi is really, really important, and I stand up and pay attention.

All of the sudden, I feel the sense of my body disappear, and I see that I am quickly rushing up, above Diamond tiara's body, the priest and Blueblood. I whimper and gasp but, once i pass throguth the roof and see Blueblood's mansion, I realize.

I'm free!

I start to laugh and chuckle. Now nothing was going to stop me from joining Filiberto in Paradise!

With a flash, I'm back a the bridge where I was before starting this whole adventure in Diamond Tiara's body. I run throught it... and I feel it quake. I stop immediately, my hearth racing and curling up, as I see one part of the bridge collapsing in the void.

Suddenly, a deep, booming, angry vocie speaks from somewhere "You did not contract next-to-kin berothrals or sexual congresses. You did not obey to your host's wishes. You tried to teach morality when you did not have the kusti. You shall be left in the Hosue of Deceit and Pain for ten years, for you were just a child, but your faults were enough to make oyu worthy of it."

I squeak, as the bridge falls just below me, sendign me down in the void. I don't know who he is, but he sounded so... harsh, towards me. He said that I did wrong... but what? I hadn't done nothing!

Soon, I feel the air heating up and, not too long after, I feel my back hit somethign hard and hot, which makes me jolt up in shriek in pain, only to feel more pain as I get on my feet. I look down, and see that the ground is made of burning coals and nails, and that my feet ae bleeding and hurting.

I shriek again in pain and tear up a little. As I do so, I hear a gallop behidn me and, when I turn around, I see a man.

A man with skin charred in points, live coals for fingers holding a grip onto a long spear made compeltely of metal and an armour with complex and fancy decorations. He is riding a black horse with his mane ablaze and his eyes glowing of sickly green.

He says, as he lowers the spear and aims it to me "Forward, Bucephalus! We have many other damned to process for Ahriman!"

I try to run, despite the pain in my feet, but, before I can even make another step, I feel my back begin pierced with a great deal of pain, as a pointy thing I recognize as the spear's tip comes in fornt of my chest.

I cry loudly, pain and fear fillign me up, as I'm then held up.

"Why are you doing this to me?!" I cry out, not expecting any answer and just steaming out my desperation.

The man answers affter a deep chuckle. "I am Alexander the Demon, burner of Persepolis and destroyer of Zoroaster's Avesta, and I'm the closest and greatest servant of Ahriman, lord of chaso and darkness." He says, before throwing me and the spear away "And I am tasked wih giving to each damned the place it deserves!"

Comments

[NachoTheBrony]

Well yeah, you did paint yourself into a corner with this story.

[Texus]

I see I had read the first chapter already, not sure if I liked it or not, but it is sad to see it cancelled. Are there more interessting stories with more unusual characters than the main six?
Like DIamond here, Gilda and some other background characters? I take suggestions for normal body changes too, I just prefer to avoid those (hey I have the original pony in my head) stories.

[Texus]

6240198
I have just read a part of your comment, this is cancelled anyway but if you still can answer me a question please.
Is this a story where the main char get's kind of bullied by some god character that had put him in that body and is demanding he acts the way either Diamon Tiara would have done it or that the "god" is focing him to act the way he wants it?

I had actually hoped I would get to read her having some kind of free will, but no matter what they are going to say, I don'T think that is a complete free will when they are forced to act in a fixed way.

Like when characters are turned into Cadance, probably male and are forced to marry Shining, by hormones that look pretty odd when they are fighting the characters mind and "Lauren (or any other name you could give a god again), that are forcing him to do it.

[Texus]

I stopped at the your on television part of the story, I admit I skipped trough it to get an feeling for the story and even if I'm not sure with which pony she was talking, that was nothing I really wanted to read this time.