Why be generous when you can be greedy?
Why be Hard-Working when you can be a sloth?
And why hold back instead of unleashing your Wrath?
The Mane Six and Celestia all question themselves - and what makes them, them.
[Expect a lot of OOC. A lot of it.]
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Intersting concept lets see how this goes
Brilliant. I hope to see more soon.
Your story drew me in and has me very interested, but there are a few things that are distracting me from the story. One is the use of numbers in your text, the other is the fact that some of the grammar is awkward at times, and lastly it feels face paced. I really want to see where this goes, though, so I'll be tracking.
Bible references?
Hrm. I am intrigued. Let's see where you take this.
Hmm. This certainly looks interesting. Mclaren's right to point out the numbers problem. I didn't see any particularly poor syntax, but the pace is fast. This is undoubtedly due to the fact that this is a thousand words. You might benefit from stretching it out. Rarity gives into the temptation a bit too easy. I'd say that the first quarter could do with being extended, I'd like to see Rarity fighting her inner demons, trying to explain the merits of Generosity as a concept. The bit where she does give in and become an utter
is done very well. It just feels like she gives in way too easily. 
...and so Rarity turned into an utter bitch and lost all her friends due to her terrible friendship and love of money, thus forming Goldman Sachs.
this won't end well...
Interesting. The person who said money can't buy happiness is also an idiot.
This is good. Good concept. Good writing. Although Rarity probably should have put up more of a fight.
I'm tracking this to see where it goes. Keep it up.
568585
Re-reading this I have noticed a few errors in my writing. I should have re-read it two times. I'll work on a revised version soon. Thanks for the advice, it really means a lot
569199
I guess I could have made it longer...I felt as if I was including things that weren't important, but I should put a bit more of a 'fight with her inner demons' in it, I guess. I'm working on a revised version, so it will become much longer and have a bit more of a struggle.
569213
Okay, that made me laugh.
To let everyone know who is interested, the planned 'sins' for the ponies go as follows:
And of course...
- Lust.
I have a sudden urge to make a Fullmetal Alchemist reference.
Must... Resist!
Pinkie, Nooooooooo!
(She's gonna bloat like a thanksgiving turkey.)
578526
I've never read that manga, actually. But thanks for the comment anyway, hope you enjoyed it C:
579553
She'll probably do a bit more than bloat. Writing this chapter was gross but hilarious at the same time. A mix of
& 
Oh god
580214
should be wrath and 
should be envy
I personally think that
But you dhould just do what you gotta do
581670\
Originally, it was Rainbow Dash that was going to be sloth, but Applejack is waaaay too mellow to be Wrath. That's how that one worked out.
Fluttershy I chose for envy over wrath as we haven't seen an envious side of Fluttershy. Rarity was to be envy at first, but Fluttershy? Avarice? She lives so simply it just couldn't work. Gluttony had to be Pinkie, and Lust was made for Celestia. Pride suits Twilight too much also.
581124
Oh God is right. The next chapter will be full of a sloth-like Applejack.
I love the concept of this story, but you need to make the chapters longer so that one can truly see what makes the ponies lose it.
That's much better. Now we have that real sense of internal conflict. The way you meld this internal battle with external stimuli is quite remarkable. While this is still a teensy-tiny bit on the short side, it is still a powerful read. Kudos.
That was certainly... interesting. You have a tendency to randomly capitalise words. There's quite a few run of the mill nouns that you've treated like proper nous. "Oats" "Cherry Pie" "Frosting mix" are just three examples.
While the actions were certainly Pinkie-ish, the brief internal conflict wasn't. Despite the inherent carnality of gluttony, I think you focused a bit too much on the physical. A few dashes of internal Pinkie-esque lines, especially used in perverse ways, could have added to the piece.
Despite that, this was still a well written and enjoyable piece. Looking forwards to more.
571921
Because everyone loves (and has likely been loved by) Princess Molestia
I was thinking
lust
greed of course
sloth
idk really it's kinda hard to think gluttony
wrath
envy
pride because she is a alicorn
But u gotta do what ya gotta do
661226
That's exactly what I thought. Great minds must think alike.
Except:
Princess C. Is envy cuz she always has royal duty stuff
And RD as pride cuz she's always loving attention and such
661226>>666412
I'll explain why i chose what I did:
- Pride, as she lets her magical prowess get the better of her and starts emphasizing on her importance and greatness to the world - Lust I feel doesn't exactly suit Twi, she'd be more shy about things like that.
- Greed / Avarice was obvious. It didn't really fit anyone else, except maybe applejack.
- Sloth, as she works hard all the time, I wanted to see if I could write a really OOC Applejack
- We have already seen a wrathful fluttershy a few times, so I wanted to try something a little different other than going for the obvious 'YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!111ONE!!1!'
- Wrath, because I could so easily see her snapping at the most minor of provocations. I also don't see RD getting envious of anyone. She's so self-assured of her greatness, she'd never get jealous.
- Oh, she literally screams gluttony.
- I didn'r really see Lust fitting anyone else other than good old Celestia.
Now, originally, Applejack was going to be Wrath, and Rainbow Dash sloth, but RD is kinda lazy as she is, so I swapped the two of them around. Either way, thanks for the ideas and such C:
592731
You're right, I'll probably edit this so there's a bit more of internal conflict and thoughts from our good friend Gluttie Pie
Well we all have different opinions. That's all.
you need to make more theirs no excuse
I'm writing a similar concept. Though, with my ADHD I'm probably gonna write another story about fluttershy trying meat.