An alternate story of Discord's return focusing on what would have happened had Twilight not read the reports Celestia sent her. Will the world fall to chaos or will another take charge and bring harmony back to Equestria?
As always feedback is appreciated.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You need to drop a comma bomb on this. I only saw one mistake in this besides all the missing commas though. Cool story bro, not enough Twilight Sparkle and too much Rainbow Dash being better than everypony else.
I've always thought Tom would make a good Element of Loyalty. A boulder will always be there for you.
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But Rainbow Dash is better then everypony else!
Ever hear the song "Equestria in gray"
Well, interesting set up you have here, Celestia's letter campaign not working and all. Not much is done with it though. It's really mostly Rainbow Dash taking Twilight Sparkle's place. You could have done something really good with this, like Twilight finding a way to stop Discord on her own and "discovering" that friendship isn't worth it, the other 5 taking her place and dealing with losing a friend, or even Discord doing himself in with no input from the main ponies.
Basically, good premise of an alternate storyline, but it doesn't really live up to that because nothing major is changed.
Fallen World - Dragonforce