A few weeks after the Canterlot invasion Celestia works to piece together what happened as well as what to do about it.
Chapters (3)
Pnakotic
Joined 21st Feb, 2012 ·
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Any critique/criticism would be appreciated, thank you.
Hmm good one i like it but its much too short. You could show some Celestia internal dillemmas about changelings and ponies, she just do that much to fast for me, totally ignored that this can be trap or something like that.
It was short, it was simple, there where moments when the flow was poor, and I expected more Drama from Celestia's Part.
That said, It was a fine example of beating Swords to Plowshares. If you did something like this again, I would bring up that analogy, as well as the fact that those who beat their swords into plowshares plow for those who don't.
The Use of Sombra as the Queens first encounter with Ponies was great; It also marks her as old. Thousands of years of resentment? Yeah, it's make me loath to ask for help.
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Pretty good, if not a little short. I'm guessing that you're going to come up with a sequel that focuses on Olive Branch, right? If this is the case, then this story serves as a decent prologue.
This was the second fanfic I read. Yay! I really enjoyed it.
As already pointed out, it's a bit short but then again that might a good thing. I was, infact, searching for abit shorter fic when I came across this one. (Still ''new'' to fanfics, so wanted to start up with something shorter)
Like I mentioned, this is the second fanfic I ever read, so my criticism is not to be taken too seriously.
But atleast I think it was really nice.
Cute story, not big on details so it could certainly use padding out, more interaction but enjoyable none the less. A sequel would even be nice even though it would lightly be more of the same just with Twilight and company. Then again, maybe it could be used as a quick prequel to a larger adventure? Who knows? Well you do but that’s not the point.
Either way good luck with your work!
really when you think about it, she's got a point
in Equestria it really IS the librarian that gets thrown under the bus, well carriage. some rulers
1952850
I can agree with you at this.
I hope you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism. I like the general concept (a changeling-pony alliance would be brilliant, in my opinion), and the story is good, but there are a number of issues. For one thing, certain things are awkwardly worded. For another, the punctuation in some places is either improper or missing. Finally, I noticed that, in at least one place, the capitalization is wrong. I would be happy to edit it as best I can, if you would like.
Not bad, though I edited the 'goddess' part out of my head for the story.
1952850 Clearly changelings and ponies have more in common than they think. :B
Cya
Raziel-chan
Short, but I liked it.
Cya
Raziel-chan
so of course i thought of this: