So we get glimpse of what's going on in dinkies mind ... Either she has the power to see the future ... which would be kind of bad for the group, or she has a rather grafic imagination. Liked the chapter, a bit short like the others but you compensate that with your fast update cycle. Keep going, I'm interested to see where you take these characters.
However, it is a fairly well-written filler chapter, and I dare anyone to challenge me on that. The only qualm I have is DT's slight off-characterisation, but I don't think I should have such an issue as this is a (very) OOC fanfiction.
Now THIS was a satisfying chapter. I could totally just picture Bright Ideas just staring awkwardly back, confused, at a near blank-faced Dinky just staring at nothing. Seeing her visibly shudder like a volt, a spasm, through sides up to her eye making it twitch.
I'd be freaked the fuck out if I saw somepony who was supposed to protect me look back at me like that, too.
Poor Featherweight. Not that he'd live long enough to deal with the suffering he'll have to endure in that place. Yes, the most dangerous, yet sometimes very arousing place, Dinky's mind.
Yes, because the local superheroines walk through there in groups and generally managed to get through without being attacked more often than not. This is not a good reason for thinking that more mundane ponies are going to be okay!
"Wow," Featherweight said, eyes wide. "When did you become such a chicken?" Diamond Tiara stopped, her body tensing. She turned around and narrowed her eyes to glare at the pegasus. "What...did you just call me?" she growled.
Uh oh.
"All I'm saying is that the Diamond Tiara I remember wouldn't have let a little rain stop her." "True," Diamond Tiara admitted, "but you seem to be forgetting: the Diamond Tiara you remember would either have forced somepony like you to give her your umbrella or manage to send somepony out into the rain to get her an umbrella."
She's not wrong.
"I do," Rumble answered. "My brother used to be a part of the Ponyville weather team. I don't like to brag, bu-" "Yes, you do," Dinky interrupted. "... but he even managed to even become manager," Rumble finished, giving Dinky a sour look.
As I said before, Dinky is best pony.
"Then some pony eating creature or other will snack on us while we are caught in the worst part of a torrential downpour." "This place isn't really that dangerous, is it?" Bright Idea asked.
Considering this place has cockatrices, Uras, timberwolves, manticores, cragodiles, and various other dangerous things, yes.
"What's the worst case scenario, then?"
You'll regret asking that in a minute.
The worst case scenario
O.o
"Maybe we should wait and come back another day," she suggested. "We could take the opportunity to do some research on the local flora and fauna, maybe pack some additional supplies as well." "We have a schedule to keep," Professor Tomes reiterated. "Besides, I'm sure what ever we come across will be sufficiently handled. I wouldn't even have waited for the guard escort if it hadn't been insisted upon. This is a place where Princess Twilight Sparkle had gone to multiple times after all."
It's true. Also, you double spaced between upon and this.
"When you say it like that," he said, "it does sound rather silly. All the same, my point remains. Our time is limited and ponies have been making this trip for years. Quite honestly, the fact that no others from Canterlot have done so is quite a disappointment. Think of all the early and pre-Equestria information we might be able to find."
ok, if Diamond was granted overall command by her peers, shouldnt she have been able to declare the mission FUBAR as soon as she learned exactly how ill prepared her charges were and call the entire thing off? part of being in the Guard is knowing when to attack, yes, but knowing when to retreat is also a good skill to have...in particular if it saves lives...
"You think we'll be okay," she sputtered out, "because a pony that became a princess by defeating powerful evils that wanted to take over Equestria was able to make it through, even though she needed help from five other ponies to do it?"
no... She became a princess because M. A Larson decended down from the heavens, and Through the strength of the lost spell of Starswhirl the Bearded... He gaveth her wings... It's all there in the gospel of Larson
So we get glimpse of what's going on in dinkies mind ...
Either she has the power to see the future ... which would be kind of bad for the group, or she has a rather grafic imagination.
Liked the chapter, a bit short like the others but you compensate that with your fast update cycle.
Keep going, I'm interested to see where you take these characters.
Dinky is pretty imaginative...
Ok. This was a filler chapter.
I can see that.
However, it is a fairly well-written filler chapter, and I dare anyone to challenge me on that. The only qualm I have is DT's slight off-characterisation, but I don't think I should have such an issue as this is a (very) OOC fanfiction.
~HM892
4993207 I'm thinking memories of past events merged with calculated guesses.
Dinky seems to have a penchant for positive thinking, which sometimes goes hoof in hoof with the old saying:
"Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst."
Diamond was right, to an extent, at the very least they should have also had a senior guard with them on the mission.
4993398
A leaderless detachment? Kind of a bad idea. Such a bad idea, in fact, that it wouldn't actually happen.
If this actually becomes an issue, I hope DT steps up to the plate.
4993207 Graphic*
Perhaps Dinky should be a horror writer in her downtime?
Now THIS was a satisfying chapter. I could totally just picture Bright Ideas just staring awkwardly back, confused, at a near blank-faced Dinky just staring at nothing. Seeing her visibly shudder like a volt, a spasm, through sides up to her eye making it twitch.
I'd be freaked the fuck out if I saw somepony who was supposed to protect me look back at me like that, too.
Poor Featherweight. Not that he'd live long enough to deal with the suffering he'll have to endure in that place.
Yes, the most dangerous, yet sometimes very arousing place, Dinky's mind.
This chapter. This chapter.
Was deliciously gory.
4993903
Ahh thanks, I had a feeling it was wrong but couldn't figure out why
Dinky was clearly reading Wind & Stone.
Seriously, like, 4 out of the 6 things you listed in Dinky's imagination actually happened in the most recent chapter. I was gagging by the end of it.
and that is what is what we call a realist folks
Nice to see you finally putting that gore tag to good use. Though I have a feeling we will be seeing more of that later.
Yes, because the local superheroines walk through there in groups and generally managed to get through without being attacked more often than not. This is not a good reason for thinking that more mundane ponies are going to be okay!
encourage ... to stay in their dens
or
keep (not encourage) the other animals in their dens
Uh oh.
She's not wrong.
As I said before, Dinky is best pony.
Considering this place has cockatrices, Uras, timberwolves, manticores, cragodiles, and various other dangerous things, yes.
You'll regret asking that in a minute.
O.o
It's true. Also, you double spaced between upon and this.
Your funeral.
Lol, Dinky's been watching too many horror flicks I see.
ok, if Diamond was granted overall command by her peers, shouldnt she have been able to declare the mission FUBAR as soon as she learned exactly how ill prepared her charges were and call the entire thing off? part of being in the Guard is knowing when to attack, yes, but knowing when to retreat is also a good skill to have...in particular if it saves lives...
They do it Reeeally slowly and painfully.
no... She became a princess because M. A Larson decended down from the heavens, and Through the strength of the lost spell of Starswhirl the Bearded... He gaveth her wings... It's all there in the gospel of Larson