Very nice chapter, but there's something I think you may want to edit.
Not having much choice, Diamond Tiara held still while the stitches her cut and pulled out.
I think that should be "were". Also,
"And by that, I mean get some sleep and be well rested and focused. If I wake up with my cot out in the hall again, I swear I'm going to buck the pair of you."
What were the chances that Aura would come back, still angry, better trained in combat, and with some griffons for support? No. Diamond Tiara gave a shake of her head and pushed the thought out of her mind. The odds were so thin, it would be practically impossible.
Well now that you've practically guaranteed it... XD
And now I dread what Twilight's next letter might hold. Last thing Diamond wants to hear is how they found Aura's corpse out somewhere with a note blaming life of how unfair its been to her and how Diamond not only stole her childhood but took away her chance at starting a new life as an adult.
Man, I hope AB gets to visit some day and DT gets to return the favor by bucking like a real expert and show those two what mare on mare action is like. No doubt Rumble would probably end up finishing in Dinky before they really get to start anything.
P.S. This chapter is such a tease. The calm before the awesome.
P.P.S. That Naruto S1 A Rank Mission feel. Escorting 2 ponies through someplace dangerous to reach a place that is still in need of renovating? You sly dog you.
Diamond Tiara stared at the unicorn a moment, blinking. Slowly, a smile spread across her face, followed by a chuckle.
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Doesn't this sound like something more experienced guards should be in charge of? Guards that have actual combat experience?"
remove additional spacing between "?" and "Guards" _______________
Good chapter. And I have such pity for Deets. Paired up with a bunch of sex fiends. But at least they've forgiven her for her past mistakes. And hopefully will help her become the pony she wants to be rather than slipping up into the little monster she used to be.
Nah! Aura's too vindictive and insane to take her own life. I'm siding with teams up with a Big Bad and get's a transformation power up. Or joins the Griffon Armed Forces, and helps them wage war on her one pony vendeta against Deets. I'm hoping it's the former. Since that'd be awesome.
4980352 Well, hopefully something happens. Been dieing to find out what is up with Aura. I expected her to be part of the team, but it looks like things might boil down to her being turned into a creature of nightmare, born of wrath. Scary stuff.
I wonder what a pony looks like when their emotions become so strong it starts to warp their inner magic, and how that would affect, if anything, the appearance of a pony or not.
I was starting to enjoy Aura and DT's feud when she became a cookie thief. Those two could of had the best angry sex makeup session ever. Though, I'd be weary with Aura, totally a biter! :P
But seriously, it's a shame we didn't get to see them suffer through basic together a bit more. She does seem too cowardly to kill herself, and imagining DT smiling at her weakness and imagining DT being happy she got kicked out probably gave Aura something to thrive for.
Kill the source of her pain: Diamond Tiara.
Well, can't wait for the next chapter of Diamond Tiara's first A Rank Mission! :p
"And by that, I mean get some sleep and be well rested and focused. If I wake up with my cot out in the hall again, I swear I'm going to buck the pair of you."
4980835 1) I'm not a fan a futa, it is just I thought the typo amusing. 2) Excuse me, but your tone -- I ain't liking it. Maybe you're just trying to be funny.
(DT writing a letter) "Dear Mrs. Hooves, Would you like to know what your daughter's been up to lately? <insert lengthy description of Dinky+Rumble clop>"
"Dear Diamond Tiara, I've known what they've been doing ever since I caught my little muffin giving her coltfriend a "present" on his 17th birthday. But Dinky knows a good contraceptive spell, and while I didn't need the full run-down you provided in your last letter, it sounds like his technique's improved since then, so I'm happy for her!
DT (to Dinky & Rumble): "... Alright, you pervs win this round."
Yeah, it's a cake walk, just the sort of thing you'd give to a trio of fresh PFCs. Naturally, this being Equestria, it's going to turn into a running battle. If I were DT, I'd take heavy armour and as much ammo for my crossbow as I could carry.
Not having much choice, Diamond Tiara held still while the stitches were cut and pulled out. The nurse was right, there was no pain from having them removed. It did feel weird, having the skin tugged on as the thread was pulled out, leaving small pinprick wounds. It was also awkward for Diamond Tiara since she could pretty much do nothing else but watch the nurse work.
I know what you mean, I've had to have stitched removed too.
Stopping off in the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. Would the hair grow back over the scar? Would it be the same color it used to be? Or would she have this bald line across her face for the rest of her life?
From experience, yes, yes, and no.
Diamond Tiara felt a pit of dark dread in her stomach. What were the chances that Aura would come back, still angry, better trained in combat, and with some griffons for support? No. Diamond Tiara gave a shake of her head and pushed the thought out of her mind. The odds were so thin, it would be practically impossible. There were just too many ifs.
This better not be foreshadowing.
"Good one, Dinky." She took a breath, still laughing a little. "But seriously. What is it?"
She's not kidding.
"And by that, I mean get some sleep and be well rested and focused. If I wake up with my cot out in the hall again, I swear I'm going to buck the pair of you."
My god you actually used it.
"In that case," Dinky said, turning back to Diamond Tiara, "could you give us... an hour?... maybe an hour and a half... alone?" Diamond Tiara let out a growl as she turned and started to walk away. "I just had to get teamed up with a pair of sex maniacs."
"An escort mission through The Everfree Forest," Dinky repeated.
Oh god... Not an Escort Mission... every gamer's worst nightmare... Hopefully they'll at least be escorting ponies with enough sense not to actively try to get killed
Well if not you, then who?
Very nice chapter, but there's something I think you may want to edit.
I think that should be "were". Also,
I think she's just jealous she's not been invited. :D
Well now that you've practically guaranteed it... XD
Can I just say you're like the sexiest author on this site right now.
Who else, I wonder, gets all giddy happy-happy joy-joy when they catch a new chapter posted on their feed? God. So happy right now.
YES!
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/343/3/b/vocaloid_fist_pump_lineart_by_tsukitayio239-d34jty3.jpg
^^ How I feel everytime I see updates to this story.^^
And now I dread what Twilight's next letter might hold. Last thing Diamond wants to hear is how they found Aura's corpse out somewhere with a note blaming life of how unfair its been to her and how Diamond not only stole her childhood but took away her chance at starting a new life as an adult.
Man, I hope AB gets to visit some day and DT gets to return the favor by bucking like a real expert and show those two what mare on mare action is like. No doubt Rumble would probably end up finishing in Dinky before they really get to start anything.
P.S. This chapter is such a tease. The calm before the awesome.
P.P.S. That Naruto S1 A Rank Mission feel. Escorting 2 ponies through someplace dangerous to reach a place that is still in need of renovating? You sly dog you.
remove additional spacing between "." and "Slowly"
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remove additional spacing between "?" and "Guards"
_______________
Good chapter. And I have such pity for Deets. Paired up with a bunch of sex fiends. But at least they've forgiven her for her past mistakes. And hopefully will help her become the pony she wants to be rather than slipping up into the little monster she used to be.
4979858
Nah! Aura's too vindictive and insane to take her own life. I'm siding with teams up with a Big Bad and get's a transformation power up. Or joins the Griffon Armed Forces, and helps them wage war on her one pony vendeta against Deets. I'm hoping it's the former. Since that'd be awesome.
How many chapters long will this story be for?
Should be a question mark.
urbantoronto.ca/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=32052&d=1409242077
4980352 Well, hopefully something happens. Been dieing to find out what is up with Aura. I expected her to be part of the team, but it looks like things might boil down to her being turned into a creature of nightmare, born of wrath. Scary stuff.
I wonder what a pony looks like when their emotions become so strong it starts to warp their inner magic, and how that would affect, if anything, the appearance of a pony or not.
I was starting to enjoy Aura and DT's feud when she became a cookie thief. Those two could of had the best angry sex makeup session ever. Though, I'd be weary with Aura, totally a biter! :P
But seriously, it's a shame we didn't get to see them suffer through basic together a bit more. She does seem too cowardly to kill herself, and imagining DT smiling at her weakness and imagining DT being happy she got kicked out probably gave Aura something to thrive for.
Kill the source of her pain: Diamond Tiara.
Well, can't wait for the next chapter of Diamond Tiara's first A Rank Mission! :p
Oh my god this is amazing
I really hate Aura as an antagonist, but seeing as she's the only antagonistic character, I'm going to have to downvote.
I'll keep it favorited for updates, but I don't like the direction the premise went in.
4980739
What actually made me chuckle was dinkies response to that
4980835
1) I'm not a fan a futa, it is just I thought the typo amusing.
2) Excuse me, but your tone -- I ain't liking it. Maybe you're just trying to be funny.
4980611
Maybe something like:
derpicdn.net/img/2013/2/10/238964/medium.png
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/138/3/3/dashie_hollow_and_scootaloo_by_feralhamster-d61xs0w.png
[Hollow Dashie]
or
th02.deviantart.net/fs24/200H/f/2008/026/4/6/My_Demon_Pony_FORSAKEN_OoakMLP_by_Undead_Art.jpg
[Demon Form]
or even
A Basic Nightmare form?
______________________
And yes. Her first mission should be amusing.
(DT writing a letter) "Dear Mrs. Hooves,
Would you like to know what your daughter's been up to lately? <insert lengthy description of Dinky+Rumble clop>"
"Dear Diamond Tiara,
I've known what they've been doing ever since I caught my little muffin giving her coltfriend a "present" on his 17th birthday. But Dinky knows a good contraceptive spell, and while I didn't need the full run-down you provided in your last letter, it sounds like his technique's improved since then, so I'm happy for her!
DT (to Dinky & Rumble): "... Alright, you pervs win this round."
4981972 *tardis appears in the room dr.whooves jumps out meanacing rumble with a screwdriver* "GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"
4981451
Sorry, I thought you were the author.
4981972
Who do you think found them stuck together when Dinky's jaw locked up and took them to the hospital?
4981972
4982235
I vote that this should happen.
(At least in a dream.)
Yeah, it's a cake walk, just the sort of thing you'd give to a trio of fresh PFCs. Naturally, this being Equestria, it's going to turn into a running battle. If I were DT, I'd take heavy armour and as much ammo for my crossbow as I could carry.
Dictated, but not read.... Life Aquatic reference?
Twilight should have read it. Then she would have caught the errors.
thereof
This sentence is incomplete! Whoever wrote the letter must have missed the second part of the sentence.
I know what you mean, I've had to have stitched removed too.
From experience, yes, yes, and no.
This better not be foreshadowing.
She's not kidding.
My god you actually used it.
HAH!
Poor Diamond Tiara
Oh god... Not an Escort Mission... every gamer's worst nightmare... Hopefully they'll at least be escorting ponies with enough sense not to actively try to get killed