• Member Since 11th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 11th, 2014

gearsteel123


T

Luna has summoned you to her bedchamber for an unknown reason.....

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 14 )

I'm sorry if it sucks since this is my first story but please don't be plot holes!

Comment posted by nodamnbrakes deleted Jun 24th, 2014

Meh...:eeyup:Good enough for a quick read.:coolphoto:

Hey! Creepypastareader! Thanks!

Short. But that isn't my problem. My problem is that it has nothing to do with the title.

4576652
Tripe on a bike, just say assholes. You people and your damned ponification curse words. I mean, fuck! Where do you bastards/bitches come up with this shit? It makes the whole thing look absurd as a cunt ont a fuckin shit damn btich ass bastard dick!

Fuck! :trollestia:

Seriously, though. Just curse if you're gonna. We aren't a bunch of fussy nuns here.

Comment posted by Pirate Jesus deleted Jul 2nd, 2014

Short. Good storyline, but short. Learn to space it out, and as the saying goes, show not tell. Show how the character is feeling (ex: Castor was sad(telling) Castor cried his heart into oblivion as tears streaked down his face, soaking into the carpet as he regretted the decision that he had made.(show)) so what sounds better?

Yay for bc hammer space.

4690435 nah. Its cool bro. Its my first fanfic anyway so its mostly a kick starter for my entire page and account.

4695051

Its my first fanfic anyway so its mostly a kick starter for my entire page and account.

It's a pretty bad kick starter, really. :twilightoops:

Show. Not. Tell. I see a little more of showing. Still lots of telling though.

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