gearsteel123
Joined 11th Apr, 2014 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm sorry if it sucks since this is my first story but please don't be plot holes!
Meh...
Good enough for a quick read.
Hey! Creepypastareader! Thanks!
Way to short.
Short. But that isn't my problem. My problem is that it has nothing to do with the title.
4576652
Tripe on a bike, just say assholes. You people and your damned ponification curse words. I mean, fuck! Where do you bastards/bitches come up with this shit? It makes the whole thing look absurd as a cunt ont a fuckin shit damn btich ass bastard dick!
Fuck!
Seriously, though. Just curse if you're gonna. We aren't a bunch of fussy nuns here.
Short. Good storyline, but short. Learn to space it out, and as the saying goes, show not tell. Show how the character is feeling (ex: Castor was sad(telling) Castor cried his heart into oblivion as tears streaked down his face, soaking into the carpet as he regretted the decision that he had made.(show)) so what sounds better?
Yay for bc hammer space.
4690435 nah. Its cool bro. Its my first fanfic anyway so its mostly a kick starter for my entire page and account.
4695051
It's a pretty bad kick starter, really.
Show. Not. Tell. I see a little more of showing. Still lots of telling though.