• Published 8th May 2014
  • 1,522 Views, 126 Comments

Sensational Serials: Silly, Short Stories for Silly, Short Ponies - PhycoKrusk



Silly short stories for your entertainment. Not related to anything else I have written. Also not a floatation device.

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Meanwhile, In Another Universe...

Dark mist drifted onto the landing, and with a flash of magic, coalesced into an alicorn who was decidedly not Princess Celestia. Coat as black as midnight; eyes with slitted, malevolent pupils; wings that looked less like those of a bird and more of a bat; and mane and tail made not of hard, but of shimmering, flowing starstuff. There could be only one alicorn to look like that.

“Nightmare Moon!” Blueblood exclaimed almost silently. “Of all the stories to actually be true.” Not wasting another moment, he carefully slid backwards through the audience towards the doors, and the three pegasi guards standing beside it.

“Oh, my beloved subjects”, she said, looking over the assembled ponies with a sneer. “It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces.

“What did you do with our Princess?” demanded Rainbow Dash as she separated herself from the audience.

“Forget asking!” Lightning Dust shouted as she came up beside the other pegasus. “We’ll make her tell us!”

“Yeah!”

Both of them shot into the air, zipping in wide arcs to tackle Nightmare Moon from both sides. Or they would have done that, had Dash’s and Dust’s tails not been almost immediately grabbed by Applejack and Gilda respectively. “You’re both nuts!” said the griffon.

Unfazed by the reaction, Nightmare Moon chuckled. “Why, am I not royal enough for you?” she asked. “Don’t you know who I am?”

“Ooh! Guessing games!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie from near the refreshments table. “Um… Hokey Smo—”

She was interrupted as an apple, sheathed in a pink aura, flew into her mouth. “Be quiet!” Trixie hissed at her, sliding away into the rest of the frightened ponies for concealment. “Do you want her to look over here?”

Nightmare Moon gave no sign of noticing the exchange on the floor below. “Does my crown no longer count, now that I’ve been imprisoned for a thousand years?” she asked, leering to one end of the landing at Rarity and Strongheart, the latter of which interposed herself between the former and the alicorn as they slowly backed down the stairs to the ground level; both of them were visibly afraid.

“Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” she asked, leering to the other end of the landing at Fluttershy, the songbird choir, and Iron Will, the last of which leered right back as he guided the others down the stairs to the ground level.

“What do we do? What do we do?” Trixie whispered to herself in a panic, only feeling a bit calmer when Blueblood gingerly pressed against her side.

“Don't worry, Trix,” he said with a confident smile. “Unsurprisingly, I have a plan.” Without waiting for a reply, Blueblood stepped away from Trixie and cleared his throat be loudly saying, “Excuse me? Nightmare Moon?”

That elicited a round of terrified gasps from the audience as they all spun to face the voice that had identified one of their worst fears; every pony with even some Equestrian roots knew the legend of the Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon.

“Well, well, well,” Nightmare Moon said as she watched Blueblood make his way to the front of the crowd. “Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I’m here.”

“Actually, I was hoping to discuss exactly that with you!” Standing in front of his fellow ponies, Blueblood stood tall, held his head high, and adopted a serious expression. “I am Prince Blueblood. As a duly designated representative of the city, county, and tracts of land surrounding Canterlot, I hereby order you to cease and desist, immediately, any and all activities pertaining to the attempted overthrow of the current, legally recognized ruler of the Principality of Equestria, and to return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the nearest, most convenient allied nation.”

A very uncomfortable silence fell over every creature present.

That’s your plan?” Trixie blurted out, immediately covering her mouth with both forehooves.

“Hold on, that was a plan?” Gilda demanded from her spot in the crowd, releasing her grip on Lightning Dust’s tail (who was, herself, too perplexed to continue her original plan of assaulting Nightmare Moon). The ponies around her murmured questions of a similar nature to each other.

“I admit it’s not one hundred percent thought out,” Blueblood replied nonchalantly.

Gilda agreed: “It’s not one percent thought out, doofus!”

Further discussion on the soundness of Blueblood’s plan was promptly suspended by laughter from Nightmare Moon, all eyes on her once again. “I am almost amused by this,” she almost purred. “Do you, a mere politician, presume to order me? Back to the moon, no less?”

“Well,” Blueblood began, “You are technically in violation of the law. Several of them, most likely. I mean, I did mention all that stuff about overthrowing the current, legally recognized ruler of Equestria, right?” He turned to look over at Iron Will. “I did mention that, didn’t I?”

Reacting immediately, Will scooped up Fluttershy in one arm, and jabbed a finger out towards Blueblood with the other. “We are not with him!” he said the minotaur in an effort to placate the Mare (Until Very Recently) in the Moon. It did not work.

“I will not be ordered around by a sniveling foal!” Nightmare Moon shouted, causing the crowd to shrink back. Even Will shrunk back, although to a lesser degree, trying to keep a brave face on for Fluttershy, who was shaking like a jackhammer. Only Blueblood stood his ground.

“Well, you kind of have to,” the Prince reiterated. “It’s the law. That means it’s the rules. And I think that we can all agree that it’s very, very, very important to always follow the —”

The crack of thunder, flash lightning and smell of ozone filled the room suddenly, and vanished just as suddenly.

“One job, guys!” Blueblood’s hoof contacted his face. A moment later, the three (now slightly twitching) pegasi guards that had been at the door collided with the ground, their ambush foiled. “One job.” After another moment of disbelief, his hoof returned to the floor. “Alright. New plan!” he said as his shined with sky blue magic.

From the back of the crowd — which had quite suddenly begun to part — came a chant of, “No, no, no, no!” that rapidly increased in volume as Trixie was dragged up next to the Prince.

Almost immediately, one of his forelegs went around her withers while the other came up to maneuver a hoof to her ear, which Blueblood began to whisper into. By the end of his missive, her eyes had widened considerably. “Brilliant, right?” Blueblood asked her.

In response, Trixie raised a hoof up and slapped him hard across the face, eliciting gasps from the crowd and surprise from Nightmare Moon. “Creep,” Trixie said, rearing up and throwing a smoke bomb onto the floor at her hooves. Immediately, the ponies (et al.) around her suffered a coughing fit while the smoke engulfed them, up until it cleared.

Trixie was nowhere to be seen, having vanished while she was out of sight. The front doors swinging shut was the only evidence of where she had gone.

Once the door loudly finished closing, Blueblood finally managed to collect his wits. “Alright. New plan again!” he declared. “Pinkie Pie!”

“Yuppers?” said Pinkie, suddenly bounding up next to him.

“Go forth to Sugar Cube Corner, and prepare the biggest party you’ve thrown this year!”

“Yes sir, Mister Prince, sir!” Pinkie replied with a salute, and then confusion. “But, what for? I mean, what’ll go on the banners? You can’t have a party with blank banners! That’d be a like a party without banners! We’d be bannerless! Like animals!”

“Well, it’ll either be to celebrate us not freezing to death under the relentless glower of nighttime everlasting, or to welcome our new dark overlord to probably at least a thousand years of uninterrupted tyranny,” Blueblood replied, turning his gaze towards the ceiling and rubbing his chin in thought. “It’s kind of up in the air at this point.” His gaze returned to Pinkie Pie. “Think you can handle it?”

Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen, having vanished while she was out of frame. The front doors did absolutely nothing.

“Alrighty then!” Blueblood concluded, wisely deciding not to question it and addressing the rest of the crowd. “Everypony else! Will, what are you doing?”

Focus moved from the Prince to the minotaur, who was busy piling two of the three incapacitated guardsponies over his shoulders, the third one going onto Fluttershy’s back, nervous about the prospect though she clearly was. “Iron Will intends to take these gentlestallions directly to Ponyville General Hospital, courtesy of assistance from Fluttershy, on account of they just got their asses kicked!” Taking a break from speaking, he turned to address a donkey that was part of the crowd, although not noticed by anyone previously. “No offense, brother.”

The donkey responded with a shrug and an uncommitted sound of indifference.

“Good thinking, Will. You get on that,” Blueblood said before turning back to address the rest of the crowd. “Everypony else, for real this time! Form two, single-file lines at the door, and proceed forward in a calm manner. The instant your hooves —“ he shot a glance to Gilda, who did not look in any way amused — “Or whatever, touch the street outside, immediately fly into a panic, run through the streets screaming your heads off, enter your homes, bar the door once all occupants are inside, hide under the bed, cower, and wait for further instructions. That’s the plan. Break!”

After a moment of further confusion, the rest of the occupants of City Hall formed two lines at the door and calmly proceeded outside until their hooves (or whatever) touched the street. As soon as they did, they each took off in a full run towards their places of residence, screaming at the top of their lungs the entire way. In record time, the streets of Ponyville were even emptier than City Hall.

“Huh,” said Blueblood as the doors finished closing. “Didn’t think that’d actually work.”

“’Twas a well-organized panic.”

“Oh, right,” Blueblood said with a scowl as he turned around, looking up at Nightmare Moon. “You’re —“

He looked up higher at Nightmare Moon. She looked down at him, smiling darkly. “Already down here with me,” he finished. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Right. This is the part where you offer to let me join you, and I refuse and say I’ll stop you no matter what.”

Nightmare Moon’s smile darkened further. “Oh, this is simply too rich,” she said, adding in a mocking chuckle for effect. “Do you truly believe that you, a lazy and simple-minded politician, can best me?”

In response, Blueblood smirked cheekily. “I’ve already bested you, Slack Beauty,” he said triumphantly. “I’m not Prince Blueblood! I’m an illusion! Bleh!” Making a funny face, ‘Prince Blueblood’ promptly detonated in a cloud of sparkles and confetti.

Nightmare Moon’s smile vanished as shock washed over her face, and for several seconds she could only stare at the space that she had believed her adversary occupied, and then she screamed in inarticulate rage before taking to the air and bursting through the window overhead. “Petulant foal!” she shouted over the streets of Ponyville, looking around for the Prince and seeing not a creature in sight. “Enjoy the chill of everlasting night, whelp! ’Twill be your last!”

Not taking so much as a moment to consider how little sense that threat made, Nightmare Moon’s horn flashed, and she melted into a malevolent, purple mist before streaking across the sky towards Canterlot. After several seconds of complete silence passed, Prince Blueblood poked his head out from the bushes in front of City Hall, scanning the skyline to make absolutely sue that she had left. She had.

“And now for an abrupt change in tenses,” he says, turning to address the reader. “That’s all for now folks, but hey! I had a blast, myself, so if you want to see more, make sure you leave a comment below saying so. Maybe Phyco will actually write the whole story once he finishes that stupid crossover he’s working on. I sure hope so, at least.

“I’m kind of stuck here, in the bushes, until he does. Seriously, comment. Get me out of here. Please?”

Author's Note:

It bothers me, just a little bit, that most of what I think of to write ends up being some kind of AU. What does that even say about me?

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the above excerpt. I'll probably get around to that story regardless of how the comments go — we need to be realistic here — but a positive response might help that happen faster. Maybe.

Don't bet on it.

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