• Published 8th May 2014
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Sensational Serials: Silly, Short Stories for Silly, Short Ponies - PhycoKrusk

Silly short stories for your entertainment. Not related to anything else I have written. Also not a floatation device.

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A Tale of the Changeling Crusade: Going Commando

~This day has been just perfect~

Queen Chrysalis got no further than that in the song of her people before she was interrupted by the windows of the throne room in Canterlot suddenly exploding inward, allowing another twenty three changelings to come pouring in like locusts. But these weren’t her changelings. They were armed with spears and wearing armor that had all clearly seen better days; crutches that ponies used, but that her (obviously superior) changelings had no need for.

That was her thinking, at least, until one of those new changelings — the biggest and broadest-shouldered that Chrysalis had ever seen that wasn’t also a queen — cracked one of hers in the skull and swept them aside, with the rest rapidly following suit. In practically no time at all, they had beaten, clobbered and assaulted their way through every unarmored changeling that stood between them and the six prisoners who had tried to collect the Elements of Harmony with a furious efficiency that the Royal Guard could only dream of having a fraction of. Every other changeling that was in their way quickly got out of their way, and then gave them wide berth.

Although appearing outwardly calm — if irritated — Chrysalis was internally in a full panic, wondering exactly what she had done to draw the apparent ire of an opposing swarm that didn't have any warriors. Because these armored changelings weren’t warriors at all; they were very obviously COMMANDOS, with COMMANDO WEAPONRY, wearing COMMANDO ARMOR, and trained in COMMANDO TACTICS. And if there was one thing that Chrysalis and all of her changelings were completely, utterly, and unmistakably terrified of, it was COMMANDOS.

The twenty three changeling COMMANDOS rapidly formed a defensive perimeter around the Element Bearers, even if it was totally unnecessary because no pony or changeling in the room was lacking enough common sense to actually try to stop them, least of all the Bearers themselves, who only looked at them with varying degrees of fear, revulsion, confused gratitude, and — in the case of Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash — very obvious arousal.

“Sorry we took so long,” said the big one as he turned to look at Twilight, He then looked at Twilight more closely, and turned to one of the COMMANDOS standing next to him before saying, in a manner that sounded quite nettled, “This isn’t her.”

“Well, yeah, obviously,” replied the smaller one. He pointed across the throne room with his spear. “She’s over there.”

Across the room, Twilight Sparkle and another COMMANDO entered. Except this Twilight Sparkle had wings, and was also a little bit pregnant. “Thanks for clearing a path to the bathroom, Hammerhead,” she said.

The COMMANDO offered a shrug in return. “When a mare’s gotta go, a mare’s gotta go,” she replied.

The big one, who was clearly in charge, was super nettled. “You said she was in the throne room!” he exclaimed.

“I said she was on the throne.”

“That’s the same —” The commander stopped himself and mashed his tarsus against his face, then let that tarsus fall back to the ground before he started for the doors. “Let’s just go.”

Seemingly perplexed by their commander’s sudden mood shift, the COMMANDOS shared a few looks, and then followed both him and the winged, pregnant Twilight out, shutting the door behind them. Silence, rather than Celestia, reigned over the room for several moments.

“Forget the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow Dash shouted suddenly. “I'm going to COMMANDO SCHOOL!”

In the blink of an eye, the changelings that had been in the room mysteriously vanished and the wedding continued as if nothing remotely silly had happened at all.

Author's Note:

Remember when I said I was going to focus on Anypony for Doomsday? on this vacation?

Well, it looks like I accidentally lied.

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