• Published 8th May 2014
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Sensational Serials: Silly, Short Stories for Silly, Short Ponies - PhycoKrusk



Silly short stories for your entertainment. Not related to anything else I have written. Also not a floatation device.

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Rarity's Number One Assistant: My Very Own Live-In Changeling

Rarity’s attention was pulled away from her project when she heard the bell above the front door chime, and left her workroom to see who had come to improve their image.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnif-EEK!” Rarity said as she came to greet her customer and saw it.

“Hi!” said the happy changeling standing in the middle of the floor. “Are you Rareetee?”

What.

“I —” Rarity began, before very nervously clearing her throat — “I am Rarity, yes.”

“Awesome! I’m here to kidnap you,” the changeling said happily, raising up and holding opened a large, burlap sack. “Get in the bag.”

“Excuse me?” Rarity half-said, half-growled, suddenly less afraid and more irritated. “Do you really believe you can just waltz in here, take me hostage, and hold me for ransom without a fight?”

“I don’t know what kind of food that is,” the changeling said with a confused quirk of its brow that lasted for only a second before it changed to apparent excitement. “Is it tasty?”

“‘Ransom’ is not food, you — what do you intend to do with me?!” Rarity was losing her temper almost as fast as she was losing her patience.

“Well, duh!” said the changeling. “You’re gonna take me to the Helements of Armony.”

Rarity stared at the changeling. “I’m sorry, the what?” she asked.

“You know. The rainbow friendship cannon that you use to hug things into other things, or to death. The Helements of Armony,” the changeling explained.

“That is not what they’re called,” Rarity replied.

The Celebrants of Charmony,” the changeling said.

“A pony worth following, for sure, but still not what they’re called.” Rarity replied.

The changeling was quiet for a moment. “The Elephants of Armory,” it said.

“That’s still not —” Rarity paused a moment to compose herself. “I’m not taking you to the Elements of Harmony, even if you foalnap me.”

“Aww, come on!” pleaded the changeling, much less happily and without the smile it had earlier. “It would really help me out! If I can get the Filaments of Raunchery, the Queen’ll be so proud of me, and she might give me a piece of chocolate!”

Rarity stared at the changeling with a befuddled frown.

The changeling looked at Rarity with an expectant smile.

Rarity stared at the changeling with a befuddled frown.

The changeling looked at Rarity with an expectant smile.

“Get in the bag!”

“Let me see if I understand this,” Rarity said in response to the demand. “And I want to make absolutely certain that I understand the situation. You infiltrated hostile territory, presumably against the orders of your Queen, with the intention of stuffing me into a large sack in order to obtain the Elements of Harmony, which I won’t lead you to in any case, just because it would make the Queen proud of you?”

And she might give me a piece of chocolate!” the changeling confirmed with a happy nod. “Get in the bag!”

Rarity was silent for a moment, and then a sly grin spread across her face. “I’ll tell you what, dear,” she said smugly, “If you promise to not foalnap me, and to not try to steal the Elements, I’ll give you two pieces of chocolate.”

The changeling stared at Rarity, shock written across its face even if it had featureless eyes. “For, realsies?” it asked trepidatiously.

“For… realsies. And if you promise to do what I tell you and not cause trouble,” she added with a smirk, “I’ll give you three pieces of chocolate.”

“All hail Queen Marshmallow!” the changeling exclaimed.

“Don’t call me that.”

“It shall be as Queen Marshmallow commands!”

Rarity stared at the changeling with a befuddled frown.

The changeling looked at Rarity with an expectant smile.

“Get in the bag —”

“Put that in the store room this instant!”

“Yes, Queen Marshmallow!”

The changeling trotted off happily, leaving Rarity to realize that she’d just acquired a boarder. And an assistant. An assistant boarder that would, as near as she could tell, do whatever she asked for nothing more than the promise that there might be a reward of chocolate.

“I-dea!”

Author's Note:

I think up the concept in like, 2 minutes, and wrote it in like, 2 hours.

Somehow, that doesn't seem to say good things.

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