as your staring at applejack in fear you reilise the absolute danger your in 1 being a changeling, 2 a changeling NOT with a hive, 3 being a changeling NOT in your former queens hive (you prayed that they wouldn't try to find and kill you considering hives kill lose ends that could give vital information) 3 being equestria most wanted, 4 owing a timeloard hundreds of bits, and 5 offending the bucking royal princess and the elements of harmony..... yeah your basically relieving Pony's Row 2 only your not capable of mass murder
As you're staring at Applejack in pure terror, you start to think of how much danger you're in,
Let's see: I'm a changeling, I'm a rogue changeling without a hive, my ex-hive is wanted for attempted overthrow of the local superpower (not to mention my ex-hive tends to "tie up" loose ends *shiver*), I'm Equestria's most wanted (well my persona is, at least), I'm in debt with a TIMELORD (not just that but of all the Timelords out there (which is what? two?) I'm in debt with the stinking Doctor) Oh, and let's not forget that I practically spat in the faces of the SUN-AND-MOON-CONTROLLING Princesses and I almost ended five innocent (although admittedly very rude) mares!
You can't help but put on a deadpanned face and think in a deadpanned tone,
Yeah, I'm basically relieving "Pony's Row 2", only I don't have the option of going on a massive killing spree with a huge arsenal of weapons.
Applejack gives you a suspicious look and asks,
"What's with the face pardner?"
You realize that you made the deadpanned face in front of Applejack! You're about to freak out again, when...
She may have called you varmint, tried to kill you on several occasion, but all your live you have believed in the saying your grand pappy told you "forgive and forget, but always sleep with a knife and with one eye open!" he would say with a twinkle in his eye, as he crawled back under his rock whispering "never to careful." at the end of each of your visits. You always love to visit pappy. But from his talks with you, you know what the right thing to do, so you look Applejake right in the eye and say "well Howdy it's mighty nice meeting ya!" giving he a firm hoof shake. But you also look to the corner of your vision to see a bottle just near by, just in case you need something sharp. "Never to careful." Your grand pappy's word echo through your head, you shiver.
You clear your throat and pound your chest.
"Ahem, dang cough! Er...sorry partner. What Ah MEANT to say was...Howdy! Nice to meet ya, Applejack, a pony Ah have definitely never heard of in mah life, um...hey there. Uh...Ah see ya have a Stetson. Ah like Stetsons...Stetsons are cool" you say in a well done southern accent
You suddenly get another flashback of your grandbuggy. It's during one of your secret visits (your grandbuggy had to escape the hive after an incident involving tinfoil hats, a public outburst, and 5 tons of gummy ursas). You were telling him about how that big jerk of a bug named Brad would make fun of you due to the fact that you can't fly and grandbuggy would always tell you the same thing,
"Forgive and forget, but always sleep with a knife in hoof and one eye open!" He would say with a twinkle in his eye, as he crawled back under his exile rock whispering,
"Never too careful..." at the end of each of your visits.
Your grandbuggy was always rather... "eccentric", but you still loved to visit him and from his talks you knew the (more-or-less) right thing to do. Applejack may have tried to kill you on several occasions and keeps calling you a varmint, but all your life you have always (again, more-or-less) believed in that saying (plus you DID kinda tried to help take over her country's capital, accidentally assaulted her friends, almost blasted her with a ball of rage-and-despair-fueled death, etc.). So you look at her with an apologetic smile and you pretend to clear your throat and pound your chest before saying,
"Ahem, dang*cough*! Er... sorry partner. What ah meant to say was... Howdy! Nice to meet ya, Applejack, a pony Ah have definitely never heard of in mah life, um... hey there. Uh... Ah see ya have a Stetson. Ah like Stetsons...Stetsons are cool" you say in a well-done (but nervous) southern accent.
The corner of your vision occasionally skirts to a nearby broom just in case you need to bonk some ponies on the head.
"Never too careful..."
Your grandbuggy's words echo through your head causing you to shiver.
Braeburn seems to notice your shiver and asks,
"Bugze, pardner, you okay? That was one mighty strong shiver." You're about to tell Braeburn that you're fine, when...
You remember that your changeling disguise spell always deactivates at the worst possible moment so you can't rely on that for long.
You suddenly remember that your disguise spell always deactivates at the worst possible moment! Even worse, you can feel the spell is about to wear off!
I need to think of something, fast! If these ponies discover that I'm a changeling, not only would I lose a place that I can now call home, but I would also get captured by the Royal Guard for sure! My gut tells me that Twilight is a big blabber mouth who can't keep a secret for long before she blurts it out to someling! You think to yourself in a panicked tone.
Come on Bug brain think, think, THINK... *ding*I got it! You think to yourself in a happy tone. You look over to Braeburn and say,
"You know what, it's kinda... chilly out here! Yeah, I'm gonna go back to the house and get my coat. Why don't you take Applejack and her friends on a tour of Appleloosa, I'll catch up with ya later."
Braeburn gives you a big smile and says,
"That's a great idea pardner! Let's a go ponies!"
And with that, Braeburn literally shoves them away before they could protest. You smile at Braeburn's enthusiasm and it's a good thing he shoved them along when he did, cause your disguise just dropped. You sigh in relief and start to run towards an alleyway. You wave and say high to all the ponies you run by, and they return with their own "hi" or wave. You finally get to the alley and you duck into it. You then think about your awesome coat and you pull it out of The Inventory. You put it on and say to yourself,
"It's time for stealth mode, it's time for... The return of The Hooded Offender!"
You are about to go and teleport away from Appleloosa for awhile (or at least until the mares have left) when...
As soon as you can, you put your awesome hooded coat back on, but a few moments later you remember that "The Hooded Offender" is still EQUESTRIA'S MOST WANTED (You are not the brightest changeling). Fortunately, you trip and fall into a mud puddle which turns your coat brown (and you suddenly feel the need to say "Gorram" instead of "Stinking" or "Goddamn" and say "Shiny" instead of "Cool") before anyone notices.
You just remember that the Hooded Offender is still EQUESTRIA'S MOST WANTED!
I am really not the brightest changeling out there, am I?You think to yourself in an annoyed/hopeless tone. While you were thinking you don't notice where you're going and you fall into a huge mud pit. It covers your awesome coat from head to hoof in brown. You grumble in anger and say,
"Of course! The ONE time I put this on in Appleloosa, I get it covered in gorram mud!"
You briefly reflect on the word you just used and realize that you now have the need to say "Gorram" instead of "Stinking" and to say "Shiny" instead of "Cool". You just shrug your shoulders and sigh,
"Well maybe now with this browncoat, I can meet up with Braeburn and not get caught. Shiny." You say to yourself in a hopeful voice. But there's still the chance of Applejack or the other mares finding out it's you. So...
What do you do?
The people out there who are both find that offensive.
Changelings are hermaphrodites. It's true.
I'm not a changeling though.
I'm a reaper.
so this is my answer.
Nightshade eats all of the apple pies at some point.
You decide that music fixes everything. So you call to the heavens.
"I DEMAND A MUSICAL INTERLUDE!" you scream. And music comes. You recognize the music from that movie Frozen. You love that movie. You run into the town singing.
"Cause for the first time in forever...for the first time in forever....for the first time in foooreeever...nothing's in my waaaaaaay!' you sing, and then you bump right into somepony. Looking up, you see that the pony you bumped into was Applejack! She looks at you and her grass green eyes light up in sheer delight. She helps you to your hooves and smiles. She...doesn't recognize you?
"That musical interlude...Ah like it..." she says. You smile, and are about to sigh in relief, until she suddenly throws you to the ground.
"ANOTHER!"
(I'm so sorry. This is what happens when I run out of ideas)
(Rolls eyes) "yeah...I know. I'm not stupid."
Doctor: "who are you talking to?!"
Me: "um...no one. Well come on! Magus, Doctor, LETS MOVE!"
4632966 Is that offensive? Cause if it is then I'm really sorry! I don't know how it is, uh can you explain it, Oh and I'm still really sorry that it is offensive!
4633127 It was a joke.
You catch up to Braeburn and the rest as they look over the apple orchard and Applejack and her friends tell him about their run-in with the buffalo. Hearing about this, you have to ask "Wait, what Buffalo? I've been here for like 8 gorram weeks and never heard of this before."
Maybe at some point Bugzy uses new camouflaged coat to sneak up to the buffalo camp and get both sides of the story.
Also maybe: when Pinkie gives her "You gotta share, you gotta care" song and everyone else hates it, Bugzy chimes in that "It wasn't that bad". And this exposes him as a changeling to the Main 6 because "No one but a changeling could have such poor taste in music".
As for:
I'd like to think of myself as a sir... but most of the time i'm just a ruffian in a stylish hat... and at all other times, I'm simply a dude (but not the Dude).
4633139 It was....heheheheh My bad
I was trying to go for the crazy grand pappy and you did that better than I could have(you had me laughing like crazy), as well what you did was amazing, I couldn't have said/done that better my self! Thank you for crazy grand pappy being a thing, thank you. I also love the shiver being added to escape, and I love how you add the things you added and what you replaced, and again...
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8x79bdgoz1rziwwco1_500.gif
Buy ALL the pies!
And
[ ] Boy
[ ] Girl
[ ] Both
[ ] Neither
[X] Asexual Bacterium
4633173 and braeburn syas thats specist
Also in the time you were here you managed to make a battle rifle and a nade launcher
You've tried everything with these six. You tried to help them; you've saved their lives multiple times, and saved three of their little sisters.
But then the orange one continually hurls unprompted insults at you and outright tries to murder you where you were found;
the yellow one refuses to listen to you even when your daughter is in mortal danger, and turns on you;
the rainbow one mocks you and strikes you when you're down;
the white one is an ungrateful monster who continually threatens to make you into her next pincushion;
the purple one hits below the belt by disabling your magic so you can't defend yourself and flys into a murderous rage when the one pony in town who carED for you crys for your sake,
and the pink one is so annoying she could drive you to insanity.
Your grandbuggy's advice is not going to apply here. Either learn to keep away from them, or refuse to talk to them until they are begging for your forgiveness. Even then, there's no reason to trust them; just find out what business they have here and make them leave as soon as possible.
You can't trust any of them. Just avoid them.
4633051 Or when he demands a musical interlude, cue Pinkie's war-causingly terrible musical number...
Pinkie comments that you look familiar and asks if she's seen you before which makes the rest of the Mane 6 look at you suspiciously. You reply no (emphasizing that your coat is brown) which causes Pinkie to glare into you more suspiciously before agreeing with a smile and bouncing off like nothing had happened (note, feel free to replace Pinkie with any other pony like Fluttershy).
Do some things for the Mane 6 with your trusty WD-40, vise-grips, and/or duct tape.
Your use of "Shiny" can leads to:
-Pinkie commenting that a nearby random object is not shiny, it's dull/brown/something
-Somepony thinking that you're referring to Prince Shining Armor
Twilight finally mentions her "changeling mind-control" theory (which explains why the CMC and Fluttershy (and later, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie) didn't clear Bugze's name).
I'm a guy (no, not that guy. Not that one either... There we go.) Come on Hive Mind! I can't be the only gorram browncoat here, right RIGHT!?
-BTW; "Browncoats" are the fanbase of the cult space western series Firefly and movie finale Serenity
OK... between you, the turrets, and the gunship, those grimdarks should be done soon. I'm gonna head over to the "Clint Eastwood" area and grab some duct tape, WD-40, and Vise-grips (never know when they'll come in handy...)
girl
You run to the nearest market ask and buy all of there apples, then run to the bakery and ask them to bake apple pie, apple muffins, apple tarts, apple bread, apple cake then go the book store buy a star swirl the bearded book then run to the pet store buy a rabbit, dig up some gems, buy a wonder bolts poster and balloons, confetti and streamers then run to the nearest bar and buy some hard cider then-wait.......where was i going with this?
ummmmm........well.......throw a party?
Little late, I missed this update somehow, but I'm a boy.
Can some one please, like muther facking please, give me a deepfryer so I can like put my scrodum in the oil and burn my balls to a crisp so I can eat them like a apple shoved into a horses vagaga.
Boy
Yep. You pretty much covered Twilight. (In this FIC at least)