The Chronicles of Spike: The Motto.

by NeggaMunneySwagMunney

Power of the Motto.

Nothing but the chill of the morning of PonyVille came to their ears in the form of light gusts, like the first queefing of a filly in her puberty stages. But that was for a split second, before Rarity nearly violently pulled back from Spike's grip. The young dragon turned his head to the side, unable to look at Rarity now, the fashion pony obviously hurt, scarred, or even worse: permanently traumatised. Interracial was forbidden everywhere, not just in PonyVille but Earth Canterlot as well.

"Rarity..." whispered Spike after a long moment of silence, his head still drooped down, his eyes focused on the brick pavement. YOLO is stupid.

"Spike, don't start. I'm... I'm disappointed," said Rarity, voice strong and rising at first, then dropping to a whisper. The chill of the morning was suddenly lifting, the sun's rays peaking over the town's clock tower. Spike gave a cough and his feet started to shuffle into a walk. Even the writer of this fic noticed and started penning in more poignant imagery.

"I see. Well, least I t-t-tr-trieed..." said Spike, his turning face unable to hide his cracking voice. It was the exact opposite of what his YOLO-drugged mind played it out as initially. That was it... YOLO was a drug. A highly addictive drug, worse than the sweetest of gems or the roundest of pony a--

"Spike! Stop that right now. And I mean it, my little Spikey... poo..." she mumbled, her head drooping low as well. Spike sensed the vulnerability of his crush, and took that as his cue to turn back and look at her. Both of their eyes met; though one was young and painfully red, the other was murky but bright. Both pairs were watery. But unlike Spike, Rarity had a smile on her pristine face, a smile that glistened like the water in her tear that reflected the rising sun. Spike was speechless.

"Spike, we're both fools, you and I..." said Rarity as she whipped her hair back and forth. Spike leaned forward in anticipation, but seeing this, Rarity chuckled and shook her head. "Sorry but... I don't think it's time for that yet."

Spike's eyes drooped down on the floor yet again. But only for a second, as his feet sprang to life, lunging at Rarity in joy and clutching her in his grasp. Rarity, this time, was not taken aback, smiling into the dragon's warm embrace.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," said Spike. But at that moment, a large object fell suddenly from the sky, shaking the two out of each other's grasps, who were in the midst of sharing a moment. Rarity, screamed, while Spike's valiance prompted him to stand guard in front of his m'lady Rarity, who had screamed right after and recoiled. Pissed off at having their moment interrupted, Spike yelled a profanity, which gave the author the cue to start writing in a shitty manner.

"DRIZZIES!!" boomed a loud voice from overhead. As Spike came to, he realised that the large object was an exceedingly large red dragon, his wings spread out like rarity's legs when Trenderhoof was around. His face was nasty, like every Lil Wayne verse in the Carter albums. The large dragon had smoke constantly pouring out of his nostrils and mouth, as if it was 420 everyday all day. His eyes were red as if he had smoked 40 fat blunts within the course of a single day.

"Hey, what gives!" cried Spike up to the dragon, eliciting an earthshaking grunt. When his large wings fell to his side there were four levitating dark silhouettes that blocked the blinding rays of the Sun. Spike saw that they were the teenage dragons who had tried to smuggle gems from Twilight's house in the morning, along with a mysterious fourth figure. Spike could only deduce that this was a form of revenge from the teenage dragons.

"Yo. I'm MC DR4K3. I heard that you denied my compadres over here some of 'da good stuff'?" said MC DR4K3, who was the mysterious fourth dragon; he was still in shadow, so it was hard to discern his appearance. The teenage dragons behind him were snickering, their teenage nostrils giving their snickers a highly snotty quality. Spike stood up, his bravery commendable by the whitest of gentlesirs.

"Hey. You've got a problem?" said Spike, out of reflex. Not noticing or taking into account that all of the dragons there were much larger than he was.

"YES!" snapped the large red dragon, who breathed plumes of fire into the air, like a Rastafarian raising his lighter up. Spike jumped immediately and skittered behind Rarity, his initial bravado diminished like a blunt on its last embers. Rarity gave a disappointed sigh and rolled her eyes. MC DR4K3 raised a claw and flapped his scaly wings, descending down onto the cowering couple.

"Yo, I don't wanna start shit up," started MC DR4K3 in his usual monotone, his scales looking greener than a fine leaf of kush. He had sunglasses on and had a heavy-looking chain around his neck. His features were sharp, and his nose was sharper still, like a Jew's. "But ya'll drizzies were messing wit' my crew here."

MC DR4K3 waved a claw to the three teenage dragons, who suddenly tried looking gangsta. Rarity frowned as Spike was uncontrollably shaking behind her, and stood up on her hooves, looking ready to get real. She stood up, and prepared to stage a confrontation.

"Now, listen here you ruff--" she started, but MC DR4K3 held up a claw.

"Talk to the claw, hoe," said the swiggity-swaggity dragon, and Rarity was visibly outraged.

"Why, the cheek of you! I'm going to--"

"It's alright, Rarity," piped up Spike. "It's my fault that we got into this mess, and it's up to me to get us out of this."

"Spike..." whispered Rarity, and MC DR4K3 guffawed. His guffaws were echoed by his teenage dragon companions, who guffawed with him.

"Aight. What yous needs to do's simple..."

---

"A rap battle?!" cried Rarity and Spike as they were lead into a large room with a stage like that from Eight Mile. The whole place was packed with dragons, and they were chanting MC DR4K3's name. It was truly a horror house; there was gunfire everywhere, a smell of fried chicken, watermelon and cigarettes, and big booty dragons were twerking their butts on Spike everywhere he went, something that didn't go unnoticed by Rarity. MC DR4K3 smirked and grabbed a mic from the DJ on stage, and spoke to everyone present.

"Yaw. Dis' drizzy here was trying to front up wit' mah homeboys," said the rapper, motioning towards Spike and Rarity. "And I'm here to do a rap battle to straighten shit out. How's dat?"

There was much cheering, rejoicing and applauding, and the dragons in the establishment started firing their guns in the air and the female dragons twerked even harder on Spike. Spike was confused and afraid, and watched, his knees shaking, MC DR4K3 pick up the mic and talk to the DJ.

"Yo, if I win, I get to take all yo muthafukkin' gems. All of 'em, dawg. Then, I'll have to take your white ass booty hoe wit' me too!" cried MC DR4K3, and the entire crowd let out a 'ooooo' sound. Rarity didn't appreciate his words as well as the crowd did, though.

"Now, listen here you fiend," started Rarity, but MC DR4K3 put out a claw.

"Uh, no. Who I want to listen to is the little drake that I'm challenging. What do you want if you win?" said MC DR4K3.. Spike gulped.

"I wanna go home!" he blurted out, and laughter all around ensued.

"Kay fine! He's set his goals and I've set mine, so DJ! SPIN THAT SHIT!" cried MC DR4K3, and a sick ass beat started playing through the speakers. MC DR4K3 started his fearsome rap.

Yo, yo yo, uh, uh, uh!

I got money and hoes and stacks of money,

Girls up on my shlong like a fat kid on smarties,

My dick stretches from Jamaica to Ukraine,

I'm rapping shit and it's so fukkin' insane

Don't you know that I'm a rave

And I'm gonna make you came,

That's the motto nigga yolo.

The crowd roared its approval, and the rapper looked at Spike and had a triumphant smile on his face. It was the most terrifying rap Spike had ever heard. No really, it was atrocious. One, it was monotonous as heck and two, there wasn't even an Illuminati reference. However, Spike was still not confident to pick the mic up and battle him. Then, he felt a hoof on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Spike. I'll be fine," whispered Rarity. At this rate, things were looking down as Rarity walked towards MC DR4K3, to be added to his collection of virgins. The crowd cheered harder as Spike's love was going away. You...

"Can't say shit, can you?" snarled a teenage dragon in the crowd. Only...

"CHOKING!" cried everyone. Live...

"Sorry," mouthed Rarity, a tear in her eye as MC DR4K3's arm draped over Rarity's back. Just then, a holy choir of angels which only Spike could see descended from the heavens, along with Lil Wayne in a robe with wings on his back.

"Nigga Money Swag Money," he said in a glorious voice. Lil Wayne held out his fist, and it had a golden knuckle which read...

"ONCE."

Spike shouldered all of the dragons away and climbed up onto the stage, snatching away MC DR4K3's mic. Everyone gasped and the rapper looked like a deer in headlights.

"What the f--" started the rapper, but Spike held up a claw.

"I feel happy for you," started Spike, a sly smile on his face, "and imma let you finish. But I am the best music video of all time. OF ALL TIME!!!"

Everybody cheered, since when people do rap battles people don't really cheer because of witty lines but much rather because the rapper raised his voice and tried to make a point. MC DR4K3 was beside himself with anger as the DJ spun the beat.

"Wait wait wait wait hold up..." cried Spike, and the DJ stopped. "I'm gonna knock this guy out without a beat."

This earned Spike a collective 'OOOHH' from the crowd.

"I've got the contact of your ex-girl. Here's her number," said Spike, holding out a piece of paper to MC DR4K3. When his face craned in to read it, Spike shot the paper up to his face.

"SIKE! That's the wrong number!" cried Spike, holding his claws up while the crowd grew hysterical .

"I've got one, two, three pairs of glasses for you to test," Spike said, suddenly taking out three pairs of different glasses, all of which were of a different colour. "Of these, which is the best?"

"Look little dragon, this isn't how rap battles are--"

"Wrong, it's THIS ONE!" cried Spike as he fished out a pair of black sunglasses and put it one his face. Everyone in the crowd got wild and simultaneously said the words 'DEAL WITH IT!'

"Last one," said Spike, and he squatted down on the stage to be eye-level with MC DR4K3, who was fuming at the nostrils. "I'm gonna end this man's whole career."

"Drake says. Drake do. Drake sees. Drake knows. The only motto that works is YOYO," said Spike, and the swiggity swaggity crowd didn't understand. Neither did MC DR4K3.

"Isn't it... YOLO? You Only Live Once?" asked MC DR4K3, who by now was quite irritated with how events were turning out.

"Naw, Dawg," smirked Spike. " It's YOYO... You Only YOLO Once."

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEHEHEHHHHH

That was basically the reaction of the crowd after hearing that witty line. MC DR4K3 saw that Spike was the unanimous winner, but it wasn't over yet. As Rarity was hugging Spike as the roaring cheer rose in volume, he reached for a gun from his homies.

"Spike, watch out!" cried Rarity, who pushed Spike out of the way as the bullet left its gun, striking Rarity straight in her... perfectly swirly mane. She fainted.

"Haha, what the fuck you gon' do now, lil bitch?" asked MC DR4K3, his composure unsteady after the loss. Spike didn't say anything, but...

"Yolo."

Then the world blacked out.

---

The world blacked out, because Spike became super Spike mode and wiped out the remainder of his dragon kin in the rampage that ensued. Somehow, Rarity was still alive throughout this entire ordeal and since the two main protagonists of this story are still alive, we can be happy and totally disregard the large loss of lives due to Spike's rampage. Plus, you'd be glad to know that MC Dr4K3 was killed instantly.

---

Spike was in a hospital ward and he was coming to. The world around him looked blurry, but as it came into focus, he could make out the outline of his favourite pony in the entirety of Equestria: Rarity. Spike gave a goofy smile.

"Hey Rarity... What happened?" asked Spike, his head groggy.

"Nothing that you should know, really..." said Rarity. Spike laughed.

"Did I win the battle?" asked Spike, and Rarity nodded.

"Wasn't the only thing you won, Spike," Rarity replied, prodding the heart necklace that was given to her by Spike those months ago, which was dangling around her neck. She leaned down and kissed Spike on the forehead.

"Rarity..."

"Yes, Spike?"

"I'm so happy," said Spike.

"I know. I would be too..." said Rarity, and she leaned down, her lips aiming for his now this time. Spike closed his eyes and prepared for it, the kiss. It would be mutual and the electricity would be in the air and in their nerves, or so he read somewhere. It was the perfect moment, just the two of them, the silent hospital ward, with absolutely no chance of getting interrup--

"Hello? Society for Prevention of Extinction of Animals in Equestra," said two stallions in suits as they burst through the door without knocking. Rarity fell off the bed and hit her head, while Spike's eyes widened at their occupation's mentioning. "We're here to arrest a Mr. Spike for causing the extinction of the dragons. Now."

Rarity gulped, but looked at Spike. There was something about him that was unsettling, maybe a new mad glint in his eye, or a excessive number of shadows blackening his features. But the smile that looked nailed to his face was unmistakable, and Rarity couldn't take her eyes off of it.

"Yolo."

Author's Note:

Are you spooked? Because I am.

Comments

[Pyro The Reader]

What the fuck dude.

[Neutrinos are Magic]

"I've got the contact of your ex-girl. Here's her number," said Spike, holding out a piece of paper to MC DR4K3. When his face craned in to read it, Spike shot the paper up to his face.
"SIKE! That's the wrong number!" cried Spike, holding his claws up while the crowd grew hysterical .

4.bp.blogspot.com/-AzOFro8rVzM/U0s1rJD09xI/AAAAAAAABK0/jC02Jyf4f5A/s1600/cap+understands.png

[OmniFox]

If Spike is the last of the dragons then they can't arrested him now that he is endangered.

[Starlight Nova]

The v in Ponyville isn't capitalized.

[Starlight Nova]

Is The Chronicles of Spike part of a series?

[Living Dimension]

Err...
I am sorry I was too fast...
I really liked how the story went in the first chapter ans favourited and liked AND then I read the second chapter which I really did not like... like seriously what was that I just read? How did you let someone publish this? No real story just some very very unlikely happenstances like SUDDEN twerking Dragons no one saw coming like they were just behind the curtain in a neighbours house... In chapter 1 the teenage dragons were at least trying to remain undetected because of a Law or Guards or something in that fashion but in chapter 2 it suddenly does not matter anymore and the antagonist simply says he will take everything Spike owns including his "hoe" meaning Rarity... a pony resident of the town he is assaulting which should make him at least hesitate then again the whole YOLO could have been messing with his head...
The "rap-battle" was funny but then you dropped it by making Spike some murdering Death-mashine that does not really remember what he did because of plot-convenience...
I am sorry for my thrashing review I tried to be constructive
I had to let this out
Because YOLO